Project "Knightly Tale"

It feels pretty interesting first time you go through there aren’t alot of options yet I feel but this is just the beginning. Also I don’t know if I’m just not understanding humility but I tried to be humble and I just got a higher hubris score

@Farmboy Yeah that was my mistake when coding it. It’s fixed now. Serves me right for introducing a whole new stat to build up in the second chapter. :stuck_out_tongue:

I have a question though: Is this gender locked or will we be able to play from a female perspective, you know disguised as a man?

It is gender-locked. I dislike doing pure genderswaps, which is the answer Choice of Broadsides did to keep it open for female MCs. It will be unlikely that a female perspective would be included at least in this story. That isn’t to say that if I expand this storyline into the lives of descendants, as I think I might, that future MCs won’t perhaps be genderlocked women or interchangeable depending on the setting.

Good stuff. I really enjoyed the story so far. As said previously, more choices would be nice but not deal breaking for me. Admittedly, I did lose interest a couple times and skipped forward by either skimming or skipping a paragraph or two particularly in scenes when the city (Where the king resides) was being described. Not sure if I missed anything important or not. I will be following your progress on this one.

Knighthood line 1177: non-existence variable ‘titled’

Other than that, this game is amazing. When do I get to start launching my coup d’état? :stuck_out_tongue:

@adjppm1227
I got the same one.

same here post to mention the Knighthood line 1177: Non-existent variable 'titled
Its in the following section:

Duke Roderick looked at King William who stood in front of his curule seat and rolled open a long parchment, clearing his throat.

“On this day I, King William, rightful King of Norwall and blah blah blah, create the Barony of Aswicdale from the reeves of Aswick and Umberdale in the realm of the Duke of Echester. Blah blah, I also grant this new title along with blah blah blah to Sir Gabriel Allard of Aswick for the long and dutiful service of his ancestors to the realm and the King of Norwall, blah blah.” King William said, speeding through the long and boring proclamation which went on to exactly define your relation with the Duke of Echester, the King of Norwall and also define the borders of your new barony.

“Congratulations, son. I hope this brings some relief to your time of sorrow.” King William said before handing the proclamation to the messenger who in turn rushed to deliver it to Lionmane Keep from which the decree would be spread around the Kingdom of Norwall.

“I already gave the messenger a copy of your coat of arms. He will deliver it to your family in Aswick so they know what it looks like. Wouldn’t want them to make a new one without knowing what you wanted it to be, am I right?” Sir Roderick said and tapped you shoulder roughly with his large hand.

How are you made a Baron?

Found some typos and stuff.


They sit in their castles with lands and people subjected to them for tax and levies, ultimately the majority of the wealth finding it’s >>wealth<< to the castles of the Kings who are the highest nobles of all, whether by conquest, intrigue or heritage.

Should be “way”.


Indeed. Like I told you, Your Grace, he is very promising so far. But he >>as<< not seen the world, which worries me.

Should be “has”.


You turn to see the squires who you are now equal to clapping the most ferociously at you having finished your time as a page and begin your real training as a squire so >>once<< day you might be knighted in a similar but much bigger ceremony.

Should be “one”.


You make your best effort not to squint >>of<< flinch as the sun hits your eye, as do the other squires.

Should be “or”.


Godwine did not need your aid in his own duties, the seneschal and his assisting stewards were much too busy in picking up the Duke’s share of work and Lady Elizabeth had >>of<< little need for you having her own ladies-in-waiting.

Get rid of that “of”.


Milord, Lady Elizabeth ordered the carriage readied for >>his<< lady-in-waiting.

Should be “her”.


The roads were muddy after the spring, the melted snow wetting the ground and the carts, >>horses and feet of peasants<< churning it into a heavy porridge-like mixture.

May want to consider changing this to “the feet of horses and peasants”.


The Lady you were escorting asked as you walked beside >>her,tailing<< her wherever she went in the marketplace.

Should be a space in there.


You could fight with your horsemen and charge the brigands, you could hang back >>an<< defend the carriage and thus Lady Catherine, or you could simply order the horsemen to attack and stay well back yourself.

Should be “and”.


As the entourage passed, it was quite obvious they were his council, as they were the ones speaking and trying to advice the Duke. Some of them >>were even contradiction each others in their advice<< and as such ended up bickering amongst themselves.

May want to consider changing this to “even contradicted each other’s advice”


The messenger never came and you were forced to press your head against the pillow with the knowledge that your had not woken up at any point during the day.

Should be “you were forced to press your head against >>your<< pillow with the knowledge that your >>duke<< had not woken up at any point during the day.”


The Duke of Echester is getting old and incapable. I have >>arched<< twice to war by his side and never have I seen him like this.

Should be “marched”.

@adjppm1227 @WubWub117 @Azul Aye, I forgot to remove the last mention of the variable when you are given your own fief. That has been fixed.

As you may have noticed I am still finalizing Chapter 2. There are probably a few thousand words more to go in it. But it is on the back burner.
@MSox99 That would be part of the latest addition to the last chapter and is a scripted event for everyone. Future titles will depend on choices made, both in the size of the land and prestige of the title.

@Sneaks Thank you! This is probably the biggest input I need. I’m at the point where I will skim through the story and not notice brainfarts and typos in the mix. I have fixed the ones you mentioned as well as one case where I had written “swordsmanship” as “swordswamnship”

@Goshman
On the back burner?! :open_mouth:

Good so far

I’d say I’m fine with the amount of choices so far. Of course more is always better but I get the feeling like up until being knighted is doing a lot of useful set up for the future which is also good.

@Wubwub117 Aye. I’m concentrating on the competition piece for CScomp at the time. But I’m experimenting with storytelling methods and interactivity on that, so I can write the story for this one while planning the competition game either in my head or on paper on the side. Are you telling me that’s not how this whole writing thing is supposed to work? :stuck_out_tongue:

Found this error

Knighthood line 1312: Invalid expression. couldn’t extract another token # Religion first.”

Well, I have to say, when I see gender locked gamebooks, it is a bit of a turn off(especially as I enjoy reading/playing from a female view)… However, Sabres of Infinity slapped me in the face about how even if the MC is gender locked, you can still enjoy the story, as I had this one.

Anyway, I had the same error as @Timmy which halted my progress.

Thank you for sharing. I look forward to more!

I have (hopefully) fixed that issue now.

I haven’t added much to the story today. Will probably add more during the rest of the evening as I process what’s in my head. I will speed through the set-up for the MC Barony so I can start Chapter 3 in Alemagne and cram some pitched battles in there.

For everyone who is interested in how the rest of the story will go, without giving any details away, these are the one-word bullet points I have for chapters after the Prologue:

Squire
Knighthood
War
Lands
Court
War2
Patriarch
Finale

That should give you some hints as to how the life of the MC will progress, unless you make some bad decisions and end up with a sword through the MC’s guts. Let the assumptions and hypotheses begin.

@adjppm1227 The situations are a lot more complicated than in history. The Varian Kingdoms is not united into one larger construct, unlike Holy Roman Empire which it’s based on. The Holy Seat is a united peninsula, but the Holy Father grants basically autonomy to several important trade cities, granting them his protection and blessing for a significant contribution in taxes. The infidels (which is originally a latin word, just fyi) are influenced by the Muslims, but the relationship between their religion and the Trinitarian faith are not as closely tied as Christianity and Islam. They have their own quirks. It’s pretty straightforward in matching countries to their inspirations.

Rolluise is based on Normandy, Norwall is based on England and Alemagne is based on France. Strathgeabrain is based on Scotland.
The main difference is that the first King of Norwall returned his lands in Rolluise to Alemagne in an effort to gain recognition as a King in his own right. Since he made this on his deathbed, his ancestors have on several occasions refused to acknowledge that any such transfer of power happened. King William is the first King of Norwall to make a large-scale effort to reclaim the lands, whether he’s in the right or not. The King of Alemagne is sickly, old and maimed from his own battles against the infidels and as he still clings on to life his heir has no say in the efforts to fight back. Not yet anyway, which is what King William is counting on.

And as you may have noticed, the Trinitarian faith is based on Christianity and to some extent Judaism, with elements of fire borrowed from Zoroastrianism.

I am completely willing to spin some lore about the world and the religions, so just throw questions my way if you want that kind of stuff.

Chapter II is finished!
And with the end of Chapter II, I have broken the 50k mark for words, including code. A good point to launch into Chapter III, where you will finally see some fighting.