Part WIP, part conquest of the Galaxy, and part silliness


#1

Continuing the discussion from The Winter Child (WIP):

TheTrueKing sits in his chair, staring out at the Galaxy contemplatingly.

“Your Majesty? The rockets are ready to fire.”

A vicious grin spreads across TheTrueKing’s face.

TheTrueKing takes a moment to remember his enemies: @Lord_Zant, leader of the kWo, some pathetic weakling whose armies could not make cookies of any quality. @WIre_Ryse, a pathetic weakling whose armies couldn’t make cookies whatsoever, and who had to resort to stealing the kWo’s cookies. And lastly, @SiROSTRiKE, a heathen who did not even mention cookies. But TheTrueKing knows better. His armies can make wonderful cookies out of even dirt, using their special recipe: put ten tons of sugar on it.

He is firing no ordinary rockets; These ones are hardened with the Bane and full of cookies that will explode rainbows of death. They have been preserved for ten thousand years for this very moment. His rain of death shall soon begin!

His enemies are content with galaxies; TheTrueKing shall rule the universe!

Before firing, TheTrueKing carefully checks his stats page, reassured that his life hacks have set every stat to 1000 and that he has 99999999999 available soldiers.

“Fire.”

*set soldiers -99999999998

Unfortunately, he forgot to check to warranties for the rockets. They were deemed usable up until the exact second which TheTrueKing said fire. If TheTrueKing hadn’t been so smug, thinking he had won, he would have won.
The rockets exploded inside his Lair of Ultimate Evil (LUE), killing everyone except for him and his general.

(Also, he got a lawsuit from @Cataphrak. Don’t plagiarize, kids!)

To be continued, with actual choices.


#2

Love it. Can’t wait to see the demo. XD


#3

As a diabetic I demand sugar free options!


#4

@TheTrueKing

Covered in fourth degree burns caused by your own “rainbow cookie” missiles? Sounds like you could use a @Doctor. Luckily there happens to be a @Doctor here!

Now you may not know this, but I’m the only doctor I know of who gives his patients (a specific amount of) money rather than charging his patients-- however, the loans I give have a minimum of an eleven percent compounding interest rate which must be repaid no earlier than and no later than a full year from the date of the incident. Failure to do repay debts at this specific date may result in near fatal wounding, and therefore a second loan and healing.

Just sign here to get underway:
X______________________ agrees to the unwritten terms and agreements determined wholely by @Doctor.


#5

I’d like you all, but I already used all my likes. Fear not, for I shall like you in 19 hours. As for sugar free, there’s always plain dirt. Jk


#6

TheTrueKing must have the worst luck possible if he got the absolute last second out of ten thousands years


#8

(Omg why does this thread exist hahahahaha I love it)

Are any of your empires still recruiting?


#9

I too wish to know this.


#10

“Minion #342, how goes recruitment?”
“Not well my lord, it’s down 200% since last year.”
“Put out more DSP Tries It videos, more How To Not Play videos, whatever. We need more manpower, especially if we go to full scale war.”

“Minion #487, what news from our allies?”
“The Nintendo World Order is on it’s way, they’ll be here within the week. The Disney World Order is also on it’s way… but the Galactic Empire refuses to send aid.”
facepalm Send a message to Vader: Tell him that if we fall, the Empire is next in line.”

Now if only I had the other two Triforce pieces. I would swiftly end this war before it began. And yes, the kWo is still recruiting.


#12

Are you sure that SiROSTRIKE is truly your ally? The Gray Raven Empire could just be trying to get you to let your guard down before destroying you. Or do you have that much faith in them?

Well, you’ll probably all blow each other up anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter.


#13

Correction!

We do not keep explosive hazards in our empire, so the Grey Raven Empire will never blow ourselves up!
Though the Ryse Empire may.

Also, you dare question my word? I shall have my minion Blizzard from the FAWR thread come and turn you into a popsicle! So long as The Ryse do not betray us, we will keep our word.

@TheTrueKing
Never mentioned cookies? Go back to The Winter Child and read! We have the best cookies and brownies in the universe! Also, we have sugar free versions of said brownies. Fear our superior baking skills! Our Cookie-Laser shall never be outdone by old cookie-missile relics. And ten tons of sugar? Sounds like all your subjects are diabetic.

@Zilla
Join the grey side! We have sugar free options for our cookies and brownies!

(PS: sorry i’m late for the party)


#14

… I feel like I should just stay a weird diabetic mercenary in all this.


#15

Siro: “Blizzard! How much money you got?”

Blizzard: “No.”

Siro: “I’ll show everyone that picture of you petting a penguin!”

Blizzard: “NO! That’ll ruin my evil reputation!”

Siro: “Money?”

Blizzard: “Fine. I have $7 Billion.”

K, @Zilla, how much to employ your services?


#16

Well if you have 7 Billion space bucks, and I want 50,000 space bucks monthly then you can employ me for 11,666.7 years, as long as you are paying no one else.


#17

Galactic years or Earth years?


#18

Earth years, as I don’t know how many months are in a galactic year.


#19

Hmm… I’ll have to think about it…

k i thought about it.

You’re hired.

First order of business: take a squadron and infiltrate KWO and sabotage their bakeries!
Let the Baking Wars begin!

Muahahahahaha!


#20

Looks like no one has hired the doctor yet.

As for me, I’ll just sit on the side lines and make comments while I eat Oreo cookies.


#21

Impossible! I though we exterminated the Oreo Empire!


#22

Well, you thought wrong. The Oreo Empire is exporting their wares all across the Milky Way galaxy. They have more money, allies, and soldiers than any of you can dream of.

You can rest easy though. They have no plans to participate in your scuffle. Your little war is beneath them.

As for me, I am just a well informed bystander who likes fireworks and cookies.