The links in the main post have been updated, you can now play the demo on either cogdemos or itch! 
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I throughly enjoyed reading your story, and when I got to the end of the demo my thought was, “No! I want to read more!”
I am not familiar with wuxia, but your story so far as been easy for me to follow.
At first I was confused at the end of Chapter 2 when no matter what decision we blacked out, but then that last line made we wonder if it was the incense, which I see now you’ve confirmed here in the forum. I don’t know if you want to have a line clarifying it was the incense in Chapter 3, or leave it for the reader to discover.
Couple of minor questions
I am a little confused about a couple minor details. In one sentence we are described as “the picture of a high-ranking guard at the Su residence.” but later when meeting Miss Su’s parents we are described as “a lowly guard”. I presume there is a guard hierarchy where we are high enough to guard the daughter but not high enough to guard the parents?
Another pause for me is one description of our character’s thoughts on Miss Su is “Though from what little you know about her…” but then shortly later a description says “You thought you got to know her quite well in your time here.” The two descriptions just seem to contradict in my brain.
Again, this could all be from my ignorance of wuxia.
Question About Tense?
I am not an expert on proper tense, so if these are my mistake I apologize.
When picking the Farmer Background and the option “To Rebuild” our character says, “I do regret it sometimes.” and then in the next paragraph says, “I had regretted that decision many times in the past years.”
Should it be “I have regretted that decision many times” since we say “I do regret it sometimes.”?
When picking the Noble background and then “My life would’ve been over” our character says, “I would have roamed the streets and eventually, starve to death.”
Should it be “starved to death?”
One description says, “It is rather overwhelming, but you knew that the mission won’t be an easy one from the moment you accepted it.”
Should it be “wouldn’t be an easy one”?
Another description says “You feel as if you had gone back in time to several years ago when you had started training with your peers at Yinshan.”
Should it be “You feel as if you have gone back in time?”
I did notice maybe one minor punctuation error. For the decisions “He will protect me well.” and “She will protect me well.” both options seem to be missing the first quotation mark.
Again, looking forward to future updates, and thank you!
EDIT: Please ignore my punctuation comment, as I realize now the choices are a continuation of the above spoken line. My apologies for the confusion.
EDIT 2: Added screenshots for (hopefully) more clarity
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Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it
Regarding your questions:
- You are right that there is a certain hierarchy to the guards at the residence. I’ll see if I can reword it a bit better.
- This one is my mistake! I remember I rewrote this passage a few times, though I have no idea how I missed such an obvious contradiction.
As for the weird tense, thank you for pointing those out! English is not my first language and past tense can get a bit tricky. I’ll fix those with the next update!
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