October 2023's Writer Support Thread

BRO… I HAVE (almost) THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY WRITING omg… why is there no clean and simple English word for “a two-hour period” :sob: !!! I don’t want to and also can’t use “Shichen” because my story isn’t only ancient china-inspired, and because then I would need to think about how to explain what “Shichen” means in a way that doesn’t interrupt the flow of the story and also doesn’t require the user to like, go to the stats page and search it up or something

Hahaa :rofl: you got it exactly right lmao, and also you need to be very careful about other people in court getting jealous of you and setting up political traps :eyes:

:smiling_imp: hehehe… this is a part of my story when the MC hasn’t actually been “recruited” by the empress to participate in imperial court affairs, and the MC is actually an outsider who isn’t from the empire who is forced to live there for… reasons, so that’s why MC feels so out-of-place right now lol :joy:

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‘A heist to steal a vigilante’ made me giggle. Great line.

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@Amesy has ended a game for the jam Digital Twin… I am super hyped. Hope everyone try it and givefeedback on it to Amy via pm.

4 games so far I am really happy

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Thankyou for the shout-out!

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You deserve it!

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I hope everyone’s third week of October has gotten off to a good start.

The Halloween Jam is proceeding well. Here are the entries received thus far:

Links to Submitted Games

Feedback requests and instructions to submit feedback is located here: 2023’s Halloween Beta Thread



Congrats to @Dash on the release of Vampire’s Kiss, a title that seems intriguing on several levels. I can’t wait to explore it.



This week I am working on my own Jam entry, Through the Twisting Glass.

I am enjoying writing it and have worked out a couple of mechanics with their controlling systems, which means, I will have a working magic and armor system ready to go in Choicescript. (If I ever get to those stories that need them.)

So far, I have enjoyed putting easter eggs in that connect my entry to the classic: Through the Looking Glass, and I hope people enjoy them as much as I have, writing them.

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See, Twine has an option where you can add some javascript to it, which allows you do hover-over words which would be GREAT for definitions and shit like that, but Choicescript doesn’t have anything like that. TAT It’s sooooo frustratinggggg

I fricking LOVE court dramas.

“IN BLOOD!”
Okay, so I really loved this section, it’s got great horror-movie vibes to it. Very classic. I’d personally make a few changes, but it’s fantastic!

Ah yes, the three methods of success in any world: Nepotism, Greed or Luck.
No, but seriously this is a lovely look into the kind of nihilistic thought process of the narrator here. Good job!

This is an amazing fucking name. I don’t know if you made it up, or got it from a culture I know nothing about, or what, but I would love for my last name to be Wibowo. “Wee-Bow-Woah” just rolls off the tongue.

And then you’re falling again is a badass line. Invokes the “I’ve been falling for THIRTY MINUTES” line from Avengers.

This is not the correct response to someone offering help, PC. XD

THE BANTER. Omg, it’s so juicy here. XD I love it.

By itself?! HOW SPOOKY! (I’m just kidding).

I’m sorry, nearly? Only nearly human.
This was a really interesting look at how the narrative itself is seemingly describing game-style dialogue. I loved it!

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Congratulations and good luck! Dear me, the armor upgrades, power-up items and special weapons are in the database, but have yet to be implemented. Probably down the line.

More on this at the Maverick Hunter: Scandalous Mission thread. There is a reason why I wrote that. But more light on that is shed in another book.

Speaking of items and upgrades, I’m working my way through A Beauty Cold and Austere and Counterfeit Monkey to get an idea of how to get these things actually functioning. Looks like I’ve still got a very long way to go…

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It is, if my sources are correct, an Indonesian name.

Oh, also

Keep in mind that the someone offering help is also a well-known supervillain (well, super-thief, but same difference) and that the PC can have an extremely antagonistic disposition towards them.

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Oh boy… I love when the only way to make a mechanic work is to put a checkpoint variable at the beginning of every single page… I really hope this is worth it in the end and that people like it.

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I do not know if this is for your Jam entry, or for your WiP project.

If it is for the Jam, I feel experimentation and fiddling is perfect. If it is for your WiP, perhaps getting some focused feedback on the mechanic in question can help.

From what you posted, it feels like you might benefit from a gosub routine, one which is checked at each page-break, if needed, but one that might be easier to both script and bug hunt with.

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Shout out to @jojo for the following:

The technique of including images with wrap around text can be a powerful tool to use.

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I dont understand because i am totally oblivius to code but It is cool see people excited

If you open the post, it shows a small image and his text wraps around that image … like a traditional book page which has a picture embedded within the text.

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In that thread I presented images as a way to show word definitions in little boxes that the text wraps around. While *image is intended for illustrations, portraits etc., it works quite well for this. Rather than have a glossary on a separate page, you can have the word definitions appear on the side of page in text boxes (which can even be turned off if the player doesn’t want them).

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Today I am officially destroyed from writing a plethora of very branched fancy outfit descriptions for Royal Affairs.

I am so relieved that most of the Honor Bound characters are less likely to wear outfits that are quite so fancy.

I still remember fondly the Royal Affairs beta tester who nudged me about some outfit descriptions that were too bare-bones and had slipped past my notice, and I deeply enjoyed a Fiore fancy outfit I wrote a couple of months ago… but I am looking forward to it being more of a rarity for special occasions.

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Oh man… Those are super amazing systems! What are they for? Like, is the magic a magic-crafting system? Or is it just that the MP grows as the player levels, and certain spells can be used? And how does the Armor system work??

This is an amazing goddamn title. I love it.

Okay, fair context! But still! XD You should still accept help when offered. XD

fuckin’ OUCH. TAT That sucks, hun. Out of curiousity, what’s the mechanic?

Ah, the sacrifices we make for fashion.

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The pants shall be fancy. It is inevitable.

@dumpling-clouds I feel the struggle of having to write around terminology or very specific terms, though not language. I hope one of the solutions that’ve been mentioned can work for you!

@Niki_Christopherson Yeah, the opening is for sure cynical and world weary, but at least there’s always the fourth unexplained thing for getting superpowers!

Otherwise, I’m quite proud of my output at the minute, at least so far as raw wordcount is concerned. It’s been a long time since I strung together back to back days this productively. Some of the dialogue trees I’ve sprouted could probably use some pruning. Still feeling out my process though, so eh, trying not to overthink it.

Experimenting with multireplace and I wound up with a block that looks like a cheatcode, which tickled me.

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Welp, Falrika the Alchemist has to go through one more revision, this time for excising offensive content (though the villains of the story are the main source of that offensive content).

I’ve got this.

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And I’ve finished my Halloween Jam submission, which should be posted soon on the Halloween Jam demos page! Now that it’s finished, so that people know what to expect, I feel I can finally reveal what the feature is that I’ve been hinting at. Let me preface this by asking you a simple rhetorical question:

What is a ChoiceScript stats screen to you? Is it a place to keep track of character stats? Is it a place to put character descriptions? Is it a place to keep inventory? It certainly can be! However, my idea was something inspired by the premise of my game and by a little game called “The Medium”.

In Golden Eyes (my game jam submission), the stats screen is a scene the player can access at any time. Sometimes the scene will have nothing. Other times it will have hidden conversations, or choices. regardless of what it has, I treated the stats screen for this entry like a second scene that was continuously ongoing with the main one throughout the story.

Two scenes simultaneously available to the player at all times.

Now, normally this would be impossible, because if you *goto_scene out of the stats screen, the Return to Game button never changes back into a Show Stats button. So, the next time you would hit the show Stats button (which would actually be the Return to Game button) it would take you back to the page which you initially entered the stats screen to begin with. But through a bit of searching, I found a workaround.

*redirect_scene

A specific command made especially to go from the stats screen to the main story while changing the button back into Show Stats. It’s essentially a *goto_scene that works from the stats page. Here was the problem I ran into. Just like the *goto_scene command, if you want the story to pick up from a specific spot, you need a label. This was the problem with switching constantly between two scenes and having them move together simultaneously. I needed to make it so that every time the player went back to the main story from the stats screen, they would pick up on the page they left off on.

There are over 98 labels in a game with just over 20k words. Almost every single page has a label, and every scene starts off with a massive list of *goto commands that take the player back to the spot they were at before hitting that Show Stats button. Granted, there is one bug I could not fix, simply because of how everything works.

If a player hits Show Stats and uses the Return to Game button instead of the Next button from the page break, they get sent back to the first time they viewed the stats screen in the game. But I did put a warning about this at the very start, so hopefully I don’t get too many messages about it. This has been… an experience.

Am I going to do this mechanic ever again? I’m not sure. Probably not to this extent unless someone smarter than me finds a way to streamline what I’m deeming the “Dual Scene Scenario”. BUT I did learn a lot about what I could possibly do to create a checkpoint system in my games (one that is much more lenient than the one used in this one). So I got some practice with that!

I hope people enjoy this, and I hope they pick up on all the mystery along with the horror. A lot of things are inferred, up to the readers interpretation, although I had a specific thing in mind for nearly every detail written here in each scene. It’s been a long time in the works… and honestly, I’m both proud and glad that it’s finally over.

Best of all… I’m extremely excited to continue working on The Bureau! I hope you all enjoy my small little demo project called Golden Eyes!

If you’d like access to the game while it’s in the process of getting posted by Mara, shoot me a DM and I’ll send you the link to the dashingdon page!

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