Not a WIP - The Bloody Queen - short vampire story

Hello, I wrote a few words of a game about being a vampire over the course of a couple of days. I know nothing about writing, but I do like interactive fiction so I thought I would write down the story I had, like literally in a dream.

Its only a few thousand words (like 7 thousand), and its lacks “tightness”, especially the 2nd “chapter”, but, i did write in in about 24 hours.

but but but, the other alternative was to throw it in the trash, and I thought some others would get a kick out of it, and if you’re anything like me you are all starved for more interactive fiction. even bad and short interactive fiction.

Anyway I want to say straight up that this is not a “work in progress,” I have no story planned, this was literally a dream, and as such I woke up before it finished. So I’ve run out of story as of now. Maybe I’ll have a think about it and write some more, but writing is hard work! (edit: i had another dream about the same thing so maybe ill write that up too!)

Also its 100% story focused, so no need to worry about your choices changing any sort of “stat”, also its really linear, which you will see if you play through 2+ times, mostly its about people reacting in different ways to what you do or say. I have also realised that when you write these things it becomes really hard to judge the “tone” of different playthroughs so some things might wobble around in tone, idk.

I called it The Bloody Queen, becaause you play a female vampire, and they like blood. and also I lack imagination!

Story: You’re a vampire, asleep in a hotel, then everything goes “pear shaped” Even vampires can get hurt by bullets, uh oh.i don’t really want to spoil what little “plot” there is.

Vampires: its cool to be a vampire, you can live forever, but also not, oww sunlight will burn you to a barbeque, bullets, they hurt too. You’re strong but not that strong, and also you have to drink blood like all the time, otherwise you get all weak and maybe you would die, not actually worked this out yet, the dream didnt specify.

Stats: theres no stats, i find them boring and difficult!

Sex/gender: sorry your a female vampire,the best kind of vampire because i didnt want to bother making anything complicated.

relationships: none, you’re a blood sucking monster!

Can you die or mess up in this game: no, so pick whatever choices feel good even not saying anything at all, which is lucky because if you die in a game you die in real life.

WARNINGS: vampires are gross, they murder people and drink their blood. Also they swear a lot.

heres the link4u:

(also i tried to post this before but it said it needed to be moderated but it never showed up…so now im posting it again, so maybe you get two copies for the price of one!)


I read this and im so intrigued by the idea you are creating this from a dream, and making it completely story based… why not ill throw a playthrough or two in to see how this turns out! Count me excited.

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Ok so lots of people clicked on the link (over 100 wow), but nobuggy commented, so i take that to mean it sucks!

So if you hated that part you’re going to loath the update I just uploaded, which brings it to 10,000 words (wow i have been busy today.)

but heres the twist, I wrote chapter 4 before chapter 3. “What the hell!” you are certainly shouting at you computer screen right now having found this out. Well I had no idea what I was going to put in chapter 3, probably dull bridging stuff that didn’t need to be there, where as i had a bunch of ideas about chapter 4, so thats what I wrote.

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I love this as a matter of fact. Also love the no romance thing is great vampires don’t fall in love with humans. A vampire is a predator and humans are prey and cattle to them. Maybe with another vampire but their first only goal is always to feed.


Now then! I liked it! It was way too short, obviously, but i liked it! I would also smash that doctor lmao. And then killed her. Or maybe during sex, huh?
It’s amazing that you managed to write this all based just on your dream, even if it was so short. That’s some cool dreams you have xD I have some too, but never tried to write a story based on them.
I would totally play it. If you’d add gender options & stuff, would be great! More options, too! Like, I’m here to kill people and I’m 300 y/o, I don’t give a shit if i’m naked. besides, they’ll die anyway so who cares. Much later- choices if we want to remain blood-sucking predator klling all of our lovers or maybe have more “normal” life with our RO where we learn to control ourselves and not feed on humans & stuff like that? There is so many possibilities…


This is a really fun short story. I enjoyed it a lot. I don’t know why, but I really like that none of the characters are nice, and the humans are just as bad as the vampire (maybe even worse).

I suppose the only thing I found kind of annoying is the overload of pop culture references. “Hey, have you seen the Adams Family? Have you seen Cabin in the Woods? Have you see Twilight? You’ll totally LOVE Twilight!” It’s like listening to Robin Williams in an Aladdin sequel. :yum:

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I just finished it and liked it i think the story till now is (even if is too short) it’s really interesting.
If you decide to continue it i’ll be waiting. :smile:

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I really like this! I’m interested in the juxtaposition between being a powerful monster and continuously running into people trying to hunt/study you and becoming trapped. It means you have to get creative with your decisions even when technically you are more powerful than them. I’m interested in where your unconscious brain decides to go with this.

I’m not sure how romance would work with this type of story, but perhaps a need to protect something/someone? Some sort of connection to a person, whether vampire/human/something else, or a past, or just something to ground your character maybe.

I actually really like the no stats thing. Its relaxing.

Anyway, its good! Keep going!

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I think it shouldent be genderlocked I would rather choose to be a male or female

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Hello all. Thank you for playing my stupid game. Ill answer some questions.

First im going to try (try) and take this to something like a 20,000 word “finished story” I think I could wrap it up nicely in that length of time. THen, if its “finished” I can go back and add things to flesh it out. I beleve these are the “famous last words” ive heard a lot about.

This could include gender options. The main reason I didn’t put them in is because Its really easy to get bogged down in things that are easy to do, instead of doing the hard thing: writing a story, and i would rather write the story first then go back and add things. Of all the things i would do this is probably the one. But, and its a big but, the story was/is written about a female vampire, so if I do put them in it’ll be exactly the same except everyone will call you he. Thats kinda wierd to me but maybe thats fine for you.

I don’t want to lock people out of saying and doing different things which stats would do. I might (might might might) go back and put in some sort of tracker for the different options, so you can see whether you were the lying type of vampire or the truth telling type of vampire or the rabid type of vampire. afaik its possible to go through without saying anything at all, how infuriating would that be for everyone else! so maybe track that --all of this is only “if i finish” obviously

As for the pop culture references, if you found them annoying, good, thats the point, that character is ment to be very annoying,

finally, its very strange writing where i have no idea what i am going to write next, so i wrote an “ending” last night, and after I re-read it I was llike this is f**king stupid and was about to delete it all but then i said to myself…what if this was just one possible ending which i will call the what da fuckey ending. wow, interactive fiction, you’re cool!


… Fair enough :yum:

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pointless update: i wrote the majority of the ending (“chapter” 6) today, which takes it to almost 14,000 words. But no update because I need to go through it with a fresh head. im learning to get a bit more complicated with the coding (i did my first variable that wasnt your name, wow), I’ve kinda lost track of the different ways you can navigate through this but some of them are super short and some of them are longer shrug so like hats off to the serious writers who do this as a thing with “balance”

It’ll probably need a bit more to flesh out the endings, and then I’ll go back and come up with something for chapter 3, and also chapter 5 since just like last time i skipped a whole bunch of stuff to get to the bit i actually wanted to write and had some ideas for. Hopefully I’ll kick out an update later this week (don’t hold any breath.)

also re-reading the whole lot I shoulda called it “bloodlust: prepare to diet”


This is a pretty good short story. I like the description of how bloody, grimy, and ruthless we are when it comes to killing people. The type of vampire you’ve chosen to write is 100% what I like when it comes to vampires, period. The whole aging aspect when not drinking blood is different for me, but it’s also interesting.

Wednesday actually reminds of Tony Stark, haha, which made me like her even though at first I wanted to kill her because I was strapped down unwillingly and this bitch is just running her mouth, haha! She straight up turned on all of them in an attempt to save herself, told us how she just stabbed some geriatric in the eye for assaulting her and has this eccentric and childlike dialogue - that’s the best way I can describe it. This character is golden in my opinion and I think you’re doing a great job.

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o.k., so i did chapter 5, which is obviously not a “chapter” in anything but the dan brown sense, its just a couple of scenes. The whole thing now clocks in at 19,000 words, but that includes stuff that is nowhere near publishable (chapter 3). I’m really pleased about having got this far, turns out writing is hard, 90% browsing the internet and 10%5% typing, that’s tough!

I’d be happy to push out 5 as is, (just under 3,000 words) but I did a lot more branching compared to chapters 1& 2, so the plus is you can get through the chapter in a few different ways, and what you do in the first scene really effects what you can do in the second scene of the “chapter”. the down side the actual increase in content per playthrough is miniscule so i wont publish, and instead will wait till i’ve revised the last part, but I am still on track.

Obviously what I have discovered is that if you have two variables “which matter” then suddenly you have to write four different things, and thats only two, imagine doing the intersection of 3 seperate variables, no thanks!

No wonder people get bogged down in their ambitious projects.


Pretty interesting. I could see this being a full story. After escaping maybe finding out that they weren’t the only ones trying to catch vampires. Maybe the organization is a lot bigger than they would have thought. Are they looking to find a way to effectively combat vampires? Another possibility could be finding a way to harness their abilities while not becoming a vampire themselves. Maybe in doing this shit hits the fan in a Resident Evil way, the experiments go viral (from not being properly sired) and create all sorts of ghouls you now have to deal with also creating a Racoon City type of scenario. Lots of possibilities.

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so you know i am still working on this: im at 22,000 words, not as much as I had hoped, but on the flip side I actually spent the last writing session cutting out superfluous stuff, unnessesary descriptions etc, reading endless descriptors is a personal irritation of mine so…

Every scene is “written” now, the whole chapters 1-6, and i even got to writing with a continuation chapter 7 beecause i wanted to know what happened after the ending! (thats a lie, its because its easier to outline a new scene than to finish an old one haha)

i found out that i could run randomtest to work out average playthorugh length, which is around 9,500, which is kinda high compared to the total length, because I had to write an “ending” which required a couple of long passages, even though i have been trying to avoid this. The option is to go back and add additional choices but i think the main reason this has happened is because i have been trying to make “believable” dialogue trees, …so like if you chose one option the sub-choices “can” include options from the primary choice which would be reasonable, so theres lots of looping stuff. obviously coding this is tricky, but Im reasonably pleased how it comes out.

But some paths take you through much faster, I’ve tried to write a “no speaking” route but obviously if you dont say anything you miss out on all the dialogue so that path is much shorter. Maybe what I should do is put in a special scene if you’ve been very quiet…but it would be short too, because you’re not speaking!

Anyway, I’m still having fun and I hope to put 1 through 5 out tomorrow maybe…maybe…

Also thanks 2 everyone who replied, sorry i didnt reply to anyone, i’ll wait til ive published an update just because :slight_smile:


Sorry for saying that i would release something, my dealer came back from holiday so i am spending the weekend getting baked instead of writing and editing, itll be ready when its ready i wont post until i have some real news, <3 alice :slight_smile:

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So…uh…no flirtation either?

I just wanted to chime in and say that I thoroughly enjoyed this. The MC is a total badass, I love her!

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