Thanks! I’ll patch it up in an hour.
I think the choice of age is too loose lol, I put 12 years old. I think it would be better if you narrow it down to a selection of age. I think I can put something crazier like 1 or 10000.
Updated. The Prologue and Chapter 1 are still being written up but I have a good idea of the direction I want to take it.
After I got this error & closed the message, I was stuck in this screen with all the buttons disabled. So, I had to reload only to be back at the start screen
Error while selecting challenges
He has come to learn to trust the results of your work and your analyses.
Since we have an option for choosing our occupation (like ‘consulting detective’) I don’t think there’s a need for ‘apply to law enforcement’ part as Doug could’ve just come seeking help and found us…
I think you are probably referring to the history-building part of the Prologue.
Once your character is done feeling sentimental, Douglas is the one that sought you out again. So, technically, the “job application” part of the narrative that you saw was, more or less, just your character reflecting back on the event that led them to the point of where they are now.
Really like the aesthetic of the game. (Or should I say atmosphere? Don’t know but still!)
The phone function really is immersive and serves the game well so far, it really feels like the character reaching in their pocket to get their phone. Really like your writing, the dialogue options are great: the things the Main Character says when calling out the lab dude? Truly savage, congrats.
Noticed a loop bug when you choose to go take a walk outside, though.
Anyway, a really promising game that’s really different from most games out there and really intriguing!
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. I’m still working on adding more immersive options for setting the history of your character’s pre-resignation story in the Prologue. I went through it earlier and it felt like that I bogged down the reader with too much “telling” and not enough “showing”, however. I might do something to change it again to make it more interactive for the reader.
Who knows, I might even add in the occasional sprinkle of a technical puzzle (assuming you chose the Hacker archetype in the beginning), not quite unlike the cracking challenges that you see in the Fallout franchise.
I am enjoying this story so far and you have definitely got me curious as to what will happen next. Well done.
One thing I found when trying to check my messages.
Can you elaborate on what part of the Prologue you were, when this bug came up?
It occurs whenever I try to access the message from Norton. It happens no matter where I am in the prologue, once it becomes possible to check your messages. If I try to check it straight away or wait I still get the same bug.
Currently at around 3000 words. Expect an addition of 5000 more words before next week.
For everyone who had the chance to see the features I implemented in the last draft, don’t worry. It will be fully implemented again as I increase the word count. Hopefully this draft comes across as being more coherent and logical in the overarching structure, as opposed to the first draft.
A pretty rad rewrite with such a drastically different approach and look than Dark Matter that enthralls you with its diverse character choices even if a large portion of the beginning has yet to be added in.
Hoping the updates remain consistent in their quality and I look forward to the future of this WIP.
This is a truly intriguing game, I can’t wait to read more of it. Albeit, for some reason I am unable to choose from all the choices.
The greyed-out options are the way they are because I have yet to put in the narrative related to that path.
I see. Thanks for answering so quickly.
Nice to see this project of yours back, your writing is still solid and so… I don’t know, flowing? I felt completely enthralled while reading, which a prowess since it is 2 AM.
The “There is a time for anger, and a season for happiness. It’s the season for her grief and wailing agony. I share in her grief, but I’ve known enough by experience to know that it doesn’t lead to anywhere good, following this path” option is just… It’s so poetic and yet doesn’t feel out of place! I don’t really have the words to give your writing its due, those particular sentences stroke me as really amazing but the rest of the demo is just as great!
Anyway, I’m glad to see this WIP back, even if it’s different because it’s even more intriguing and your writing still as good!