Oh, that’s so nice of you to actually make three options, considering you’ll have to write the summaries and stuff! But at least, it’ll be to everyone’s tastes!
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(post deleted by author)
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The easiest way I think it to let people skip parts, like what would happen if that was an actual paper book. The story would still flow naturally and those who dont want to be affected, won’t.
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Primarily I would like to state that the majority of those who took the poll wished for the narrative to either remain unchanged, or wished for the option to not see panic and anxiety for the sake of their own mental health. So yes, while it is a case of some players affecting the story over others, it is the majority that is being listened to.
On the other hand, and this is my personal opinion on the matter of anxiety and mental health, there is no type of person who is invulnerable to mental stress.
I’m sorry that this has upset you, but I hope you can see how this will help players otherwise negatively affected by the original content.
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Loved the demo! Cant wait for more, a few coding errors here and there, but the narrative is catching and I love that you can care for a child, even if it’s just a prologue I really like the way you build the characters
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Thank you so much!
With coding errors if you can remember anything specific please do let me know. It means I can go in and have a word with my coding skills (or lack there of).
ahem
CHAPTER 1 is up and ready to play in the demo!
Please remember this is a demo version of the chapter, there will likely be bugs, there will definitely be spelling mistakes, and grammar is a free for all.
If you spot anything please drop me a message either via Tumblr or here on the forum.
I HIGHLY recommend you begin with a new character rather than trying to continue with an old save. Not much has changed in the text of the prologue, but there are new background variables that will need to be reset for chapter 1 to work correctly.
With all that in mind, have fun with the update and let me know what you all think once you’re done!
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A big and good update. I like how you introduce characters and your overall approach of familiarizing reader with them. Also great work on bringing back little details that was for choose, I, as player, really appreciate it.
this line did strange things to me
It’s tough for Eden, its hard for her to understand that just because I’m not around for a while, it doesn’t mean I’m never coming back.
After all, her birth parents never came back, did they.
Also thank you for introducing English mythology!
I have small problem with character H. If you pick the option “I laugh with him”, line with "public aggravation " and other implications that he said something inappropriate to child(a girl in my case) make no sense since he doesn’t really do that (I believe he does in other choices)
It seems she said greetings twice?
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What an update!!! I loved getting to know the town and its residents more! It feels so alive; Vyla, Huite, Erda, Toby, etc etc are all such interesting characters!
I absolutely adore the dynamic we have with our child and how the rest of the townsfolk treat them. I was initially a bit uncertain about playing a character with a child but now I’m the Rosa meme, “I’ve only had Indigo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself”. I love how soft the ROs are with the child, too 
You’re also excellent at conveying feelings and making the scenes come to life. I really felt the uncertainty and anxiety throughout the scenes. The flashbacks and the POV changes were chef’s kiss. I think this is one of my favourite WIPs and I’m looking forward to seeing more of K and their shenanigans!
A couple of pronoun errors for Abelinn;
Summary
“Thank you.” I croak, certain that I’m the cause of her weariness.
Instead, he saw a pale face starring back at her from within the warped glass.
Should be “his” weariness and at “him”, as all my ROs are male 
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Oh god, the update was a masterpiece! 
It was so incredibly emotional! I love it!
I really enjoy delving into MC’s relationship with the kid, and it’s also sweet to see them interract with the ROs.
With the prologue alone, I was a bit hesitant about the RO I’d select, but P really stole my heart now. 
There was a couple of typos here and there, but more importantly, I have noticed two actual errors:
- When selecting MC’s hair:
I have selected “Short and straight not touching my shoulders”, but the description on the next page says “My hair is a tumble of tight coils that just reaches my shoulders.” which has basically nothing to do with my selection.
It appears correctly on the stat screen, so I assume it’s a description error on that page, but the correct hair lenght and type is coded in. - After Abelinn’s flashback:
“Abelinn tore herself bodily away from the memory”
Should be “himself” in this case.
I also have a question now that things actually started and I had the time to think about it.
You said in the OP that it’s impossible to get a premature ending, though I assume there will be bad endings at the end, depending on the choice, since this IS a horror story. But what I would like to know is if everything will be a matter of choices (as in, pure roleplay), or if the game will have stat checks? And if there will be stat checks, will it be only in MC’s practical skills, or will that include personality checks?
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Waking up this morning to all the lovely messages has been wonderful! So thank you to everyone here and on Tumblr who dropped by with feedback.
Now onto bugs:
Yeah, need to rework that line a little bit. It doesn’t read quite as clearly as I would like.
It’s meant to reference the circumstances you found your adoptive offspring in, that they were left at some stage or other by the people that were their biological parents. With that early abandonment, they no doubt have some built up trauma over your absence.
It doesn’t work quite as nicely with the “laugh along” option, but Vyla is largely referencing past infractions as well as the present conversation when she calls Huite a ‘public aggravator’. So don’t worry about her reaction seeming a bit strong for the present context, later parts of the story will reveal more.
Little bit spoilery below:
Huite will, shall we say ‘develop’ his personality as you interact with him in future scenes. He likes to push peoples buttons, so if you laugh along with him he’s less likely to try and get a rise out of you, and more make you an accomplice in getting a rise out of others.
As for the conversation shenanigans with Vyla, fixed that now, so you shouldn’t get a repeat in the text.
Thank you for the lovely feedback on characters and the MC customisation, I had feared the cast might prove overwelming, but that so far doesn’t appear to be the case.
Guess I let my brain slip into standard prose a bit while writing A…
Those ones are fixed now, there are likely more hiding away in there, so if anybody spots them do continue to let me know.
You know, I’ve been drafting a bit of the scene where that Rosa meme starts making me a bit nervous… You’re all so very attached to your little ones already…
I’m just gonna laugh nervously to myself in a corner for a bit…
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback and the bug shouts, and never fear K shenanigans are imminent.
I swear that hair system undoes any fixes I implement when I’m not looking…
Fixed!
Clearly when I wrote A I had Anadora in mind for some reason… They so far seem to be the only RO to suffer from my sleepy brain.
Fixed!
Every choice in the text will adjust variables behind the scenes. Some will be quite overt:
Like promising Vyla to inform her of what’s going on, and then not.
Others will affect counting variables, and hidden skills.
Checks will mostly affect how your character reacts when their isn’t a direct choice involved. For example:
When Huite looks like he might physically react to Vyla’s statement, your character either chooses to tuck their child behind them for protection, or doesn’t even think about them as they ready themselves for what’s about to happen.
There will be a few physical skill checks later which will affect what choices are available in more threatening situations. For example:
Can your MC swim?
But there will always be other options available, so no one should get ‘stuck’ with only bad choices.
You will not be able to end the game early, but yes, there will be multiple endings with a range of consequences for the characters involved.
Glad to hear you liked the first chapter, and that P’s route is proving a pleasant surprise.
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NONONO I meant that as as a compliment so sorry! It is really good and it touched me. Sorry I’m still kinda bad with English.
Ah I get it. Thanks! But there still a line
Which refers to basically nothing in that case.
Nah also description in menu helps a lot.
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Ah, I see. Yeah, that definitely needs to be fixed doesn’t it.
Right I know what I’m doing this afternoon!
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Got a fix for that scene with L. Thought it would be nice to post it here for you to see, rather than making you hunt through the text for it:
Summary
“Ewww.”
I grin. “Really? ‘Ewww?’ That’s your assessment is it?”
${ln} shrugs. “Anything with Huite seems best summed up with ‘Ewww’, in my opinion.”
My smile grows wider.
“What?” ${ln} demands, straightening up and puffing out @{lg his|her} chest. “You prefer I go up and tell him precisely what I really think of him?”
Regardless of my own feelings on the issue, if {ln} goes storming up to Huite, ready to give him a piece of @{lg his|her} mind, or worse a fight, nobody wins. {ln} may be able to best most folk if it came down to passing punches around, but Huite carries beams of wood around, all day, every day. And unlike ${ln}, Huite has no issue fighting dirty.
“No. Not a good idea.” I say hastily, much to ${ln}'s satisfaction.
@!{lg he|she} gives a stern nod. “So, can a @{lg man|woman} be left to ‘Ewww’ in peace?”
With a chuckle I nod back.
“Good.” @!{lg he|she} says. “Ewww.”
*page_break
Pressing on with the recollection, the young @{lg man|woman} beside me gives a sharp huff of amusement when I reach the precise point of the alder’s impact.
“Serves him right. Creepy git.”
I watch as @{lg his|her} hands curl into fists in @{lg his|her} lap, @{lg his|her} jaw tightening.
“You know, I still want to go crack his jaw.”
“What for?” I ask.
“Oh, you know, just in general really. I’m sure he’ll do something to aggravate one of us sooner or later.” ${ln} laughs as @{lg he|she} says it, but @{lg his|her} humour turns into curiosity soon enough. “You’re right though, about the leaf. That is odd.”
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Thanks, that sounds better!
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When I read the first draft of this story, I’ll admit it didn’t interest me very much, but this new update has definitely made me very intrigued! I loved all the character interactions, especially watching our kid with Tobey. That interaction brought a smile to my face.
P has captured my heart so quickly haha. I thought as I was looking through the ROs again that it would for sure be K, but no! They were so good with my son that I couldn’t help but fall for them lol.
And despite your cryptic warnings about the future of our child, I’m already very attached to them. In fact, it would’ve been nice to get some more interaction and choices with them one-on-one with this update, but that would be my only (half) complaint.
I’m really looking forward to seeing how this story progresses in the future! I’ve already followed your tumblr just to get more content crumbs.
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Yep, that was more or less my train of thought too! 
P is just too precious
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I loved the update, it was so good!
I’m already so attached to my child and the ROs!
Just wondering if it’s maybe possible to put in a few more save slots?
Looking forward to more! :3
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Sure thing, I’ll add in a few more save slots.
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Played the demo again and P is so lovely, I would also kill anyone who tried to harm my child. Cant wait for more, love the way you entwine plot, mythology and emotions!
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