I love the story, and do you have any idea when your next update might be
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Thank you for asking and playing! And most probably next weekend (I really wanted to finish this Sunday, but l don’t want to rush anything, so let’s see how it goes).
Right now Chapter two is sitting at 35K words, (excluding the extra lore stuff, articles, character’s folders and clues descriptions that I still didn’t add but are quicker to do) which is around 15K more since my last post about it around ten days ago. So, not a whole lot left to add.
In the future I will probably revisit earlier chapters to edit them a little better, I am still getting the hang of that.
About P.O.V changes:
I was experimenting with POV changes, turns out what I had in mind didn’t work, opsies (I was thinking about changing the ‘next’ button colour to reflect a change in perspective, with each colour representing a different character).
I really like trying stuff out, maybe I will put in bold letters when we see things from someone else’s mind, while having a little introductory change in scenery. Like…
…
Valerie is finally going to therapy.
…
You’re waiting for someone at a bus stop.
…
Someone shoots the Monarch in the face.
…
But If that doesn’t work I will change it, maybe in the future I will make a special card image to signal the change in perspective more ambiguously (was thinking about making specific characters different chess pieces, and showing them to indicate who we are seeing, I think that may allow the player to learn what piece represents what specific character. Idk, I like trying stuff up, its basically the motto of this project 
).
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Chapter 2: “There in the cracked pavement lay a dandalion” is live!
Yes! It lives! BIGGER AND BETTER!
This new expansion brings this demo to ~76K words!
It’s time to get those rose-tinted glasses and prepare your legal defense!
What can you expect?
- Brand new and shiny characters!
- An introduction to one of Babel’s most iconic pieces of architecture!
- Experiencing a relaxing maintenance section at Crab’s station.
- Having the dynamic of your relationship altered from now forth.
Better to not spoil the surprises!
Okay! Have fun punks!
Love you all!
P.S.: Please let me know if something is exploding and needs fixing (or what you thought about the chapter). I always miss those things 
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OMGGGGGG I’M SO READY FOR THIS!!! 
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Update Update Update. I am so hyped.
Also I make sure to report any sudden explosions of my heart.
Also before I delete my safes. I named one, which most likely from a typo or two. “Husbandi or WIFI” …
Yeah, that makes me remember the one game where the dev accidentally misspelled Girl as Grill and just made a route where instead of reincarnating into a girl you get to be a Grill.
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Funny fact: Hector kept telling Val that she/he was a, and a quote: “female/male of value” because I kept forgetting to fix the damn code.
Everytime I read that I bursted laughing, then I procceded to forget to fix it… for like, a month straight.
Honestly, I almost kept it just for how crazy that was.
What can I say? I work at this usually at the crack of dawn, so my sleppy head gets… creative with the errors.
Totally unrelated topic: I just rolled out a small update to fix some typos and… other itty bitty things… opsies.
Unrelated topic number 2: I was thinking about making a game about you getting isekaid as a (hear me out) salmon, not a big one, just like… an ordinary salmon. The plotwist is that it is all a very deep alegory for the ciclycal nature of live. I think it will flop, but I like the risk.
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YEEEESSS! Believe me, I got so excited when I got done! There were some moments who hitted me right on the feelings, I like being hit there! (I was so happy to fix those ugly ass evidence cards on the folders, I swear to god I was sleeping when I made that.)
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OPS, I guess now I fix it! Sorry for that! Try reloding the page for it to update or closing it and opening it again. (I guess the quick fix I mentioned before kinda made this happen for a bit. Thanks for warning me!)
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First, I just wanna say your premise is quite interesting and it’ll be exciting to see how it goes. Also, you may wanna update the post title to reflect your new word count.
Also just wanna say, I find the ellipses use rather excessive to the point of distraction, like I counted 22 on the first page and you’d probably benefit cutting that down to less than 10. Ofc this is only my subjective feedback and you are free to ignore it.
You also tend to always capitalise after an ellipses which only makes grammatical sense in some cases.
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Thank you for the feedback, it is very helpfull! And yes, I will probably have to revisit that in the future (the first chapter in particular suffers a lot from some really funky editing choices I think). Also, yeah I need to update the choice count on the post. I just kinda can’t do it right now and I don’t see why, I guess I need to ask a mods permission before? As soon as I figure it out I will change that. Again, thank you a lot for giving me some tips!
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I’m not sure if this error is mine alone; I keep getting stuck in a loop of meeting Crab, having a Voice Box, selecting a gun, and returning back to meeting Crab. Particularly when selecting “I researched other options” or something like that.
When I opened it with a clear cache and history and selected bought the gun, the game continues as normal. 
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Omg you’re totally right! Sorry for that, I will fix it shortly after when I get home! Thank you for warning me about this 
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P.S: Done! I fixed the looping! Also added two little dialogue choices at Ana’s place (was getting the feeling that the sequence was lacking in it), and another one in one of the seller’s. (also purged some ellipsis from the beggining of chapter 1.)
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Future Development Plans!
Spoilers Below!
Wanted to talk a little bit about future plans to let you guys know how things are getting thought and such.
As you may see, I like to experiment a lot, with this being my first project I guess my own expectations of it being a masterpiece comparable to the great ones out there is slim hahaha
So better to go all in and give myself a challenge!
Strap in! This is talking about a lot of things!
But I already expected that I would probably be going back and adding stuff (to past chapters) in the future, accompanying my progress of learning new tricks and stuff. For example, I plan to add new movies in the beginning sequence for you to watch with you lovie dovie, another path in the fighting training scene with Val, new answers to choices in general and reactions as well. Not anything mindblowing mind you, but just to ensure that someone going into run number 6 or something still gets to experience something new, at least that’s the plan.
About choices: I tried to avoid sliders of personality because I wanted singular choices to have more impact, even if it is just a small ripple in the water. For example: In Chapter 1 when seeing one of the corpses tattoos, you can comment to Val about getting matching tattoos. Later in Matilda’s old dinner, you can choose to spy on Val’s conversation with Matilda, and MC listens to Val trying to get the number of a tattoo artist from Matilda.
Another example: MC’s perception of Matilda changes if they choose that they’re jealous of her (MC see her as more annoying, and acts more possessive).
Another example: Crab acts more empathetic if you choose to treat him like a person, more strictly business if you choose to ignore him when meeting him, and more casual if you ask him for joke. (If you asked for his help in Chapter 1 at Matilda’s dinner, he will send you a message in Chapter 2.) (Lifty in Chapter 2 says something different according to how many questions you ask him.)
About consequences: A thing that I wanted to see more, and will probably be exploring more in the future, it’s MC influencing NPC’s lives. What do I mean? I was thinking more in a system like this: (NPC appears with a problem → you choose how to approach it → you see their lives changing in some way.)
This is another way to give the player more agency in longer fics I think (where divergences in even the most minor of details surrounding key characters require a lot of labor to do it right, and I am very aware that my capabilities are simply not there yet). And by connecting these NPC’s to the MC’s need to get to the bottom of the investigation, it doesn’t seem too out of place.
There’s many more little ‘easter eggs’, and I guess that it helps a linear game like mine, to seem a bit more fresh with each playthrough.
Many options reveal later plot points, which helps on the investigation part of the game department. Because I think that it’s nice the feeling of linking two things which seemed disconnected at first, and really discover something on your own, y’know?
About Chapter 2: I tried another new thing with the ‘confrontation minigame’ at Ana’s house, I think it may be nicer than Chapter 1’s password puzzle. The ‘new character’ adds a lot of new possibilities about how things will go from here regarding Val’s and MC relationship and the secrets that they withhold from one another. The chapter showed a few improvements in regards to the previous one I guess, and of course, lessons for me to remember in the future.
(I am a stubborn mule that really likes big fictions, so no, not giving up on this one early).
Updates: I will probably launch an update every two months now with college and everything, but I will send a message if I expect it to deliver late or early.
Lastly and most importantly, if any of you have some tips, anything to say about my ideas, critics or praises, everything is welcomed.
I always say that, however once again I must thank you all for reading and providing a lot of support and feedback! Truly, I love doing this
Like jake the dog once said: “Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something.”
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Idk why i thought about this every time i think about the MC’s voice box. I think of them having a metal jaw and mechanical lungs.
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And that’s very badass to imagine! I always liked those character who seem 90% metal and 10% human. In my heart every time I pick the strengh mod, I imagine MC having metallic arms.
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I really like how important the choices feel so far and the ways they come up again later! Especially this little section:
like, aww this is so cute 
I ADORE Val and their relationship with the mc and the seemingly budding familial relationship with Mira aaAA It might just be how I’ve been playing my character, but it feels like the trio are a spectrum of bad (Val), neutral (mc), and good (Mira) morals that might be able to balance each other out somewhat lol
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Own, it really makes my day to see comments like this! Thank you so much! Honestly I had too much fun making MC and Val’s interactions, there was never a moment I got bored while writting something in this IF. Aaaaannnndd yeees!!! I was so excited to introduce Mira to their dynamic! Her heart is just too pure for this cold and uncaring world 
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A fresh of breath air, in a land of WIPs that focuses on having 9 ROs and a generic story I’m very surprised at the originality and quality of this one.
At first I was skeptical of the choice of a romance focused game with only one RO, but after reading the story it showed great potential, 2 characters with a good backstory, interesting emotions and personality and a great relationship dynamic thats not just cheesy slice of life romance or nonstop drama.
I really enjoyed the dynamic with Mira as well. I am a bit lost on the main story, it seems this story is now focused on finding Mira’s past? the story pacing is a bit confusing to me but I did enjoy it greatly.
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