March 2025 Writer Support Thread

[zozopuff]

On the topic of eye color, I’m probably in the minority, but as much as I like to define eyes with light/dark/regular color, I find it incredibly awkward if the casual prose afterwards is like “your light green eyes shimmer with emotion” or “your dark brown eyes close” etc. Detailed descriptors feel too ‘first impression’-y or intimate, somehow? I suppose this could apply to hair as well!

(I just now realize this could come across as a snide remark towards @Nocturnal_Stillness’s eye color selection, which is shaping up to be immaculate, btw. Maybe I’m toying with the idea of having 2 color variables for light/dark options - if chosen - for situations where closer observation would be applicable.)

[valence]

Been feeling pretty at odds with myself this month. Everything I write (when I can write) seems to be coming out with the wrong tone, or it’s not quite good enough or there’s just something off about it.

So I figured I’d do the hard thing and actually post a snippet even if it looks ugly in the code. Nothing about character descriptions, though! They’re the part of writing I find hardest, and it’s not just eye or hair color. More power to the people who can do it! I always feel like I’m struggling to find the right level of detail.

Snippet

Unscrewing the bearings, you take the wheels off the skates. Setting the boot and bearings aside while you wash the wheels in the bucket of soapy water by your feet.

You’re…

*temp toggle 1
*fake_choice
	#…thorough, even when it's tiring
		*set helpful +1
		*set energy -3
	#…casual, preferring to save energy
		*set energy -2
		*set toggle 2
	#…amusing yourself, making a game of it
		*set humor +1
		*set energy -3
		*set toggle 3

Work always takes something out of you. Especially when you’ve got a three-part cleaning process for every single pair of skates in the building.

*if (toggle = 1)
	*gosub_scene branches1 thorough
*if (toggle = 2)
	*gosub_scene branches1 casual
*if (toggle = 3)
	*gosub_scene branches1 game

*label thorough
@{work You take care at each step, making sure that all the skates are in good repair|The regularity of it is mind-numbing, and you carry it out with bored attention|You go about it with scrupulous attention, making sure that your work represents just how valuable you are as an employee|}. By the time you’re done with the wheels, they’re scrubbed and scraped and ready to roll.
*return

*label casual
@{work It’s better to be efficient, saving your energy for repairing the ones in the worst shape|There’s no point in wasting your time trying to get everything perfect|So long as everything looks good enough to pass inspection, that’s all you need to do|}. You focus on getting through as many sets as skates as you @{work can|need|have to} before opening.
*return

*label game
@{work But just because it’s work doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun|Might as well try not to die of boredom while you’re stuck here|What your bosses don’t know won’t hurt them|}. Swishing the wheels in the soapy water, you spend more time splashing around than actually scrubbing.

[Dvalor53]

@zozopuff

If there is an easier way to code this pls lemme know

I’m not sure your code is going to work as intended. While it looks like you didn’t provide us with what it actually looks like, there are a few things I’m concerned over.

Your use of *gosub. I’m not sure why you’re using that instead of *goto. If you use *gosub it can mess up your use of *return later on if you never have a *return actually return to the section.

Also, since *label bad_name is immediately after the *fake_choice sequence, you don’t need to *goto bad_name, it’ll go there on its own. What does need a *goto is after they pick valid names, that way you’ll jump right past the bad_name sequence. As it stands, if you select a valid name, it’ll still treat it like a bad name because that is the next part of the code.

[zozopuff]

Oh! In the document the *label bad_name is actually at the end of the file (I moved it in the snippet for clarity but I see my mistake in doing that!). Mostly I did it that way to practice a subroutine because I’d never written one before (and then when it worked I decided not to touch it again so I wouldn’t break it )

I do see what you mean with *goto and I’ll probably revise the code that way.

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

@Anna_B

I’m glad you’re doing plain “brown” as an option! A lot of games have light brown and dark brown options for eyes and hair, but never the ordinary brown. I never know which one to choose . Maybe I just have a different definition of what constitutes as dark. I would call my hair “chocolate” or “chestnut” or something like that, and I wouldn’t think of it as dark

How I’m currently having the hair choice is like this;

Hair Choice

Your hair is…
*choice colour cut
#Auburn…
#…and Short.
*set hair_length “short”
*set hair_colour “auburn”
*goto robin_colour
#…and chin-length.
*set hair_length “chin-length”
*set hair_colour “auburn”
*goto robin_colour
#…and almost reaches your shoulders.
*set hair_length “long”
*set hair_colour “auburn”
*goto robin_colour
#Blonde…
#…and Short.
*set hair_length “short”
*set hair_colour “blonde”
*goto robin_colour
#…and chin-length.
*set hair_length “chin-length”
*set hair_colour “blonde”
*goto robin_colour
#…and almost reaches your shoulders.
*set hair_length “long”
*set hair_colour “blonde”
*goto robin_colour
#Black…
#…and Short.
*set hair_length “short”
*set hair_colour “black”
*goto robin_colour
#…and chin-length.
*set hair_length “chin-length”
*set hair_colour “black”
*goto robin_colour
#…and almost reaches your shoulders.
*set hair_length “long”
*set hair_colour “black”
*goto robin_colour
#Red…
#…and Short.
*set hair_length “short”
*set hair_colour “red”
*goto robin_colour
#…and chin-length.
*set hair_length “chin-length”
*set hair_colour “red”
*goto robin_colour
#…and almost reaches your shoulders.
*set hair_length “long”
*set hair_colour “red”
*goto robin_colour

*label robin_colour
*if (hair_length = “short”)
Your hair is ${hair_colour}, cut short and refined.
*if (hair_colour != “black”)
*choice
#It is a lighter shade of ${hair_colour}.
*set hair_colour ("light "&hair_colour)
*goto robin_height
#It is just ${hair_colour}.
*goto robin_height
#It is a darker shade of ${hair_colour}.
*set hair_colour ("dark "&hair_colour)
*goto robin_height
*else
*goto robin_height
*elseif (hair_length = “chin-length”)
Your hair is ${hair_colour}, framing your face nicely.
*if (hair_colour != “black”)
*choice
#It is a lighter shade of ${hair_colour}.
*set hair_colour ("light "&hair_colour)
*goto robin_height
#It is just ${hair_colour}.
*goto robin_height
#It is a darker shade of ${hair_colour}.
*set hair_colour ("dark "&hair_colour)
*goto robin_height
*else
*goto robin_height
*else
Your hair is ${hair_colour}, falling to your shoulders in waves.
*if (hair_colour != “black”)
*choice
#It is a lighter shade of ${hair_colour}.
*set hair_colour ("light "&hair_colour)
*goto robin_height
#It is just ${hair_colour}.
*goto robin_height
#It is a darker shade of ${hair_colour}.
*set hair_colour ("dark "&hair_colour)
*goto robin_height
*else
*goto robin_height

I might replace it with just a choice of various hair colours and not focus on available shades of the colour.

[valence]

Nice use of the multi-choice command; I always appreciate being able to choose those kinds of details that way.

[PrismaticSpace]

Anxiety and doubt has me in the trenches today oml It’s a Monday, that’s why-

[cottage14]

It’s like ocean waves: look ahead and you can see another Monday coming, and another one after that, and then another…

[LiliArch]

I’ve been running some numbers and I think I might actually be able to publish something, and do commissions, without too much hassle legally speaking, which would be good news, if I actually had customers.

Anyway, I’m starting to think to settle for Janje for this MC’s canonical name… it’s not an actual name from what I can see (Janja is, but it’s feminine and janje is neuter word, if wiktionary is correct, I don’t speak Serbo-Croatian) but it fits so perfectly, it resembles a name, and it’s a post-apocalyptic future, so I hope it won’t be a problem.

[Omeg]

@zozopuff

On the topic of eye color, I’m probably in the minority, but as much as I like to define eyes with light/dark/regular color, I find it incredibly awkward if the casual prose afterwards is like “your light green eyes shimmer with emotion” or “your dark brown eyes close” etc. Detailed descriptors feel too ‘first impression’-y or intimate, somehow?

I’ll go a step further; I’m not fond of describing eye color at all. It rarely adds anything to the scene and there’s rarely a reason for the POV character to focus on it. Not even during first impressions, there’s usually more important stuff going on there. I only mention it when there’s something unnatural about a character’s eyes, or when I have some pretentious clever comparison to make.

@PrismaticSpace

Anxiety and doubt has me in the trenches today oml It’s a Monday, that’s why-

If that helps, I’m in the trenches with you. Living in a world with no job market drove my self-esteem into negatives long ago.

[Nocturnal_Stillness]

@Omeg

I’ll go a step further; I’m not fond of describing eye color at all. It rarely adds anything to the scene and there’s rarely a reason for the POV character to focus on it. Not even during first impressions, there’s usually more important stuff going on there. I only mention it when there’s something unnatural about a character’s eyes, or when I have some pretentious clever comparison to make.

Some people just like the option to choose things like that. So I don’t mind adding it.

@zozopuff

(I just now realize this could come across as a snide remark towards @Nocturnal_Stillness’s eye color selection, which is shaping up to be immaculate, btw. Maybe I’m toying with the idea of having 2 color variables for light/dark options - if chosen - for situations where closer observation would be applicable.)

Oh don’t worry I didn’t take it as a snide remark

[PrismaticSpace]

Ugh I should seriously be job hunting bc I know I’m not nearly lucky enough to have this as a sole income But man its so depressing when im someone with no college degree and whatnot. Not even connections

[Habbie]

Hellow! So I know I’m late for sinppet day, but I hope it’s still okay to share hehe This snippet have been sitting on my draft since yesterday, and I keep forgetting to post it because of uni lol

I’ve been told by a friend that the current narrative fits only with the 26-35 MC. Burnouts can be felt by anyone at any age, but this particular scene is made for the said ages. And I kinda like the idea of doing a different narrative depends on the MC’s age, so I will be working on that.

The ages were mostly used for locking out romance with 43-50 and 18-25 and cosmetics, but since I removed 43-50 age group, it doesn’t have much role other than cosmetics. So I like this idea to give ages a bigger in the narrative.

So this snippet is the only narrative I have so far, which fits for the 26-35 MC.

Snippet: intro narrative for 26-35 MC

Another day. Another work.

Keyboards click and faint hum of fluorescent lights fill the air of the gray-stained walls of the office.

You sat in your your cubicle, staring tiredly at the glare of your screen as your fingers move mechanically on the keyboard. Time passed so slowly that it feels like you’ve been there for way too long, yet when you looked at the time on your computer, you still have half of an hour before your shift ends.

You let out a loud sigh and leaned back, the cheap plastic chair does nothing to ease your aching back. The higher-ups refused to provide workers a better one. Cheap bastards. After the the hours you’ve poured into this job, this is the best they could offer. You could file a complaint, but you know it would fall on deaf ears. It’s not worth making an effort.

You finished school, earned your degree, and for what? A mind-numbing desk job. Your gaze fell back on the mess of supplies and unfinished paperwork cluttering your desk. With another tired sigh, you force yourself back to work—just to get it over with.

I’m still working on the 18-25 & 36-42 narrative. I have some ideas but I’m struggling to decide what it’s going to be. It’s a struggle to write multiple conflicts on a single character, but I’ll take my time with it. I try not to put too much on myself like I tend to do, and just have fun writing.

[zozopuff]

@Omeg

I’ll go a step further; I’m not fond of describing eye color at all.

Fair! I’ve read plenty of IFs and novels that don’t include it and I never felt like I was missing out on anything! I feel like if it’s included, at some point it should be mentioned later on just so it doesn’t feel like an empty/unremembered choice from a character creator screen. I will say I’m a sucker for characters mentioning MC’s eye color during downtimes or flirt scenes. But that’s really one of the few situations I can imagine bringing it up outside of extraneous circumstances that you mentioned i.e. cat eyes or somesuch.

@Nocturnal_Stillness

Oh don’t worry I didn’t take it as a snide remark

Thanks! I have a bad habit of overthinking how I come across in text, so I always end up going back and editing things 5 minutes later. We’ll see if I can manage not to this time.

[Brian_Rushton]

I had a self-imposed deadline of march 19th for my chapter and I think I’ll make it! I’m up to 37K words, quick-tested, random-tested, and played-through. I don’t think I have time to finish my ‘evil version playthrough’ or my ‘the enemies-to-lovers character that you didn’t convert to the good side appears and takes over the evil kingdom’ segment, but I plan on working on those while the editor sees the main quest.

So I kind-of didn’t really finish due to the loose threads of storylines, but my original goal for this chapter was 20K words so I’m pretty happy with the 37K I’m handing in.

[Havenstone]

@sana

I recommend people read the short story The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas for this viewpoint

Funny you should mention it, because a “sequel” to Omelas is up for the Nebula short story award this year.

I only first read Le Guin’s original story seven years ago, shortly after she died. I thought it worked way better as a critique of the dystopian imagination than it does as the straight-up anti-utilitarian thought experiment that the last paragraph gestures at.

But for anyone who’s read and appreciated it, this follow-up is an absolute hoot – all the poignancy and awfulness of the original, and it’s also hilarious.

There are a bunch of other good short stories on the ballot – this nasty little vignette, this Tumblr from hell, this gorgeously alien exercise in form – but I think the Omelas Hole is going to take my vote.

[AletheiaKnights]

Wow, I am glad I read that - it was amazing, and as disturbing as it was funny. I love Le Guin’s story and find myself returning to it often in my thoughts, turning it over and examining it from different angles, and this story does something similar to my own musings in a way that’s fresh and irreverent. I won’t forget it either. I don’t think it rises quite to the heights of genius of the original, but I’m glad it’s part of the conversation.

And I’ve bookmarked your post so I can read the other short stories you recommended when I get a chance.

[jonah]

Never posted here before (I’ve been working on a demo for a game of my own for a little while now, and have been lurking ever since), but I have to chip in for this. Even if this year’s Omelas short story doesn’t appeal enough to click on the link, I highly recommend checking it out anyways. I’ve read a lot of riffs on the initial Omelas conceit, but this one I recommend to just about everyone.

So engaging, such an easy read, and so clever about how it builds to its ending. I re-read it just yesterday, so it’s awesome to see it mentioned here!

EDIT: Just read the other recommendations and wow, We Will Teach You How to Read | We Will Teach You How to Read was hypnotic.

[sana]

Since I’m further into my current project, I decided to go back through my outline now that I have a better handle of these characters. So far there’s nothing that stands out as needing to be changed, but it feels a bit empty in places. I am somewhat concerned that I’m relying too heavily on POV switches by including them in later chapters, but the story doesn’t work without them. Or, well, it could work but I personally wouldn’t find it as entertaining of a playthrough to read/write and it would remove a lot of necessary context.

One thing I did notice while looking through my outline is that my Big Plans for the ending chapters are definitely too ambitious. My original plan was for eight distinct branches and a lot of fight scenes and as cool as that would be, I’m probably going to cut out most of my plans for those fights. I’m debating cutting some of the branches too, but then I’d have to rethink the structure of the ending.

Anyway, I haven’t been keeping up with most of my goals for the month but…

@sana

Write about 20k words across all projects

Check! Whoo!! 21k in 18 days!!!

[PrismaticSpace]

I’m glad I got to upload today. And I’m really looking forward to writing a certain portion in.
I just keep having this nagging feeling that it won’t… make waves, I guess? I dont know how to word it, especially because I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the support I do get.
Maybe if I get lucky and somehow get an actual job, I’ll feel a lot less anxious. Or maybe it’s just down to how critical I am of myself.
Either way- it’s eating at me and I feel stupid for it bc it feels over-dramatic and silly.