Are you ok with me making a general suggestion?
4 Likes
Happy Ides of March rip Caesar.
Here is a small snippet from a cyberpunk wip I’m working on that made me chuckle. If there is an easier way to code this pls lemme know
Notes from the research team experimenting on MC aka Subject B
Personal File:
Subject B. Body found at [REDACTED]. Near perfect preservation. Gray matter intact. We have high hopes.
Subject B Awakens on 05/10/2141 at hour 1948. Subject B asks for a glass of water. Green light.
First twenty-four hours: Subject B experiences bouts of intense recall; possible seizures. We are disheartened that Subject B cannot explain the sensation of the events.
Subject B wants to watch [REDACTED]. We are considering Subject B’s interest in a television show from their previous life a positive marker.
First forty-eight hours: Subject B claims they recalled their name. Subject B referred to themself as:
*fake_choice
# Pikachu
# Gandalf
# Sailor Moon
# Batman
This is incorrect. Subject B’s name is:
*fake_choice
# Lyra
*set name "Lyra"
# Renzo
*set name "Renzo"
# Echo
*set name "Echo"
# Not those
*input_text name
*if ((name = "Pikachu") or (name = "pikachu"))
*gosub bad_name
*if ((name = "Gandalf") or (name = "gandalf"))
*gosub bad_name
*if ((name = "Sailor Moon") or (name = "sailor moon"))
*gosub bad_name
*if ((name = "Batman") or (name = "batman"))
*gosub bad_name
*label bad_name
Subject B insists their name is $!{name}. We fear Subject B's memory is not entirely correct. Perhaps their temporal lobe was [b][REDACTED][/b]. We informed Subject B that their name is "Jay". Subject B . . .
*fake_choice
# Agrees. That is their name.
*set name "Jay"
Subject B has seen the truth of things. We hope that their recall improves from here on.
*return
# Disagrees. It seems Subject B recalls their name now.
Subject B informs us that they were "just joking" and that we should "chill out". We aren't very amused, but Subject B says that their name is:
*goto names
Subject B claims to “have known that all along.” We advised Subject B to improve their capacity to tell falsehoods. This angered them.
Note: Subject B, $!{name}, seems prone to outbursts of rage. After checking their medical file from their previous life we notice that Subject B was diagnosed with [REDACTED]. It appears that reanimation has exacerbated their condition into something new. Will continue to monitor.
12 Likes
I appreciate it but I’m so early with this project that I’d rather not get feedback right now. Thanks though, and thanks for asking!
7 Likes
Of course, I agree, I’d recommend to only use the techniques that are most helpful for yourself, but to expand on it a little, if you did want more specific variables, you still could with this technique. As an example, say if we have a variable for something a little ambiguous, perhaps alliance where then the variable might be interpreted either as a boolean that an alliance has been formed or perhaps as a string for the name of the prot’s party’s alliance. Then, using this technique, we could have b_alliance or s_alliance to differentiate. Once more, coders should use the techniques that are best for their own style and work, but I just wanted to offer it as a possible fix. While I’m not going back to change any of my vars now, I think when I start a new project I’ll give my technique a try and see how it goes.
Pretty sure I’d be a stow away, sadly. What would I like to do? Probably some low level science officer stuff. Red shirt for the win and all that!
Oh my, best show ever!
Love that line. Drops some lovely intrigants as I’m not familiar with the wider work yet.
********************** Sniipet *********************************
Here is my snippet for the month. I decided to fish back last month to the confrontation scene at the end of chapter 11 for Sense & Sorcery as the betrayel in that scene was a good stab at poor old Ceaser. Hope you all enjoy, and Death to tyrants and all that!
p.s. sorry the text is small again.
11 Likes
…I’m having an urge to name this game Series Cancelled just to see how many people would assume it’s a cancellation announcement.
5 Likes
Here goes my snippet for the month, feeling a bit shy 
:
Snippet
Still having a bit of time, you lay back down, trying to get your thoughts in order. As your head sinks into the pillow, you turn to the side, your gaze landing on the empty space beside you. It’s a familiar sight, ${a_name} has already left for work. $!{a_he} always gets an early start, never one to risk running late. The anxiety of rushing tends to cloud ${a_his} mind, making ${a_him} prone to forgetting important things.
Your thoughts drift to ${a_name}, to last night, and then reality seeps in, heavy and inescapable.
The debt. The gang. The plan.
Tonight, you’re supposed to be heading to The Gilded Vice. It was one of the most prestigious casinos in the United States, run and owned by ${v_name} Delgado ${v_him}self. A beacon of excess, where high rollers and celebrities alike indulge in reckless luxury. It’s Ridgepoint’s crown jewel, the kind of place people dream of visiting, a playground for the rich and the influential.
*if vicegambling = true
Funny, really, this should be exciting for you. A gambler stepping foot in a casino that would be any gamblers wet dream. But you’re not going there to indulge in your usual thrills. You’re going there to make a deal with a a very dangerous ${v_man}.
Your goal is simple in theory: get a meeting with ${v_name} and convince ${v_him} to let you work off the debt. The execution, however, is where things get complicated.
After getting ${a_name} on board with your idea last night, you both combed through obscure conspiracy blogs, desperately searching for something—anything—that could give you an edge. That’s when you came across a strange but consistent claim: in order to access the VIP area where ${v_name} spends most of ${v_his} time, you need a special token.
A blackened gold chip, etched with a coiled serpent on both sides, and the only way to obtain one was by winning a game of roulette.
It sounded ridiculous, like something out of an urban legend. But it was the only lead you had. All you could do was hope it wasn’t just some gambler’s tall tale.
Even now, you’re still reeling from last night. It feels like your entire world has been flipped upside down. You’ve been let down by plenty of people in your life, but ${a_name} was the last person you expected this from. Maybe that was your mistake, you always thought of ${a_him} as perfect. But that wasn’t fair, was it? No one was perfect. Still, ${a_he} had always been the one person who made you feel safe. The one person you trusted completely.
And now? Now, you weren’t sure if that was true anymore.
10 Likes
This flows nicely and provides the player with useful information. I certainly am curious about whether the MC will succeed, and what dangers they are walking into.
There are some grammatical glitches, which I am sure you will catch in the editing phase
Some present tense/past tense stuff near the end:
Given that for the player this scene is in the present, probably all the verbs I marked in bold should be in present tense.
Is there a playable demo yet?
a
6 Likes
Yes, there is currently a playable demo. Thank you for the feedback but my use of past tense here is intentional. It’s supposed to reflect the MC’s past thoughts and how they used to perceive A. The shift in tense is meant to highlight how their perspective has changed.
5 Likes
Even outside of the joke, I think it’s an awesome title!
This is exactly what snippet day is for. 
Just want to offer a friendly reminder that we dont usually offer feedback for snippet day.
5 Likes
I understand, but if that is the case, the last sentence I quoted should certainly be in the present tense. It even has the word ‘now’ in it twice. 
5 Likes
reminded
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Yeah, I can see what you mean about that part. That was an oversight.
4 Likes
In “Your One Moment”, I am working on a sequence where the MC leads Prince William and his followers to the Halifax Common to see a horse race. Just beyond the point I have quoted, the MC discovers they will be riding in the race.
Before you have gone more than a few steps, however, you see a man gesturing to you from behind one of the other carriages. It is Mr. Eisner, whom you met at the Arbuthnots’ levee, and of whom Mrs. Bergen had spoken, if not highly, at least not ill. You suppose you should find out what he wishes to say.
Curiously, with each step you take toward Mr. Eisner, he seems to take one step away from you. Is this some sort of local ritual?
However, once you are among the carriages and out of view of casual onlookers, he quickly closes the gap.
“It may be better if we stand here,” he says. “People might think I was giving you a tip on the best horse.”
“I was just going to take a look at them.”
“They are a sad herd, not like military mounts. I would not put much of a bet on any of them.”
“They can’t all finish last,” you say.
He purses his lips. “Stranger things have happened. But that is not my errand.”
“How may I help you?”
He is quite close to you, and suddenly a small purse or bundle is in your left hand. “You could do me the kindness of putting this to good use.”
It is a leather pouch, and you can feel both coins and paper within. “To pay for my new uniform?”
He laughs. “That would pay for six uniforms, even at Donald Duff’s prices. No, it is a gift in earnest of a, um, favor I might ask of you at some point.”
“What kind of favor?”
“Nothing nasty or ignoble. I can explain on some other, more private, occasion.”
This all seems a little off. You look down at the object in your hand, and when you look up again, Mr. Eisner has disappeared.
What should you do with the purse?
9 Likes
I was struggling to come up with a snipped because I’ve been working on code heavy sections this work that I didn’t think would be fun to read, but I’ve missed too many snippet days from not feeling like I wrote anything snippet worthy to skip this month.
A couple readers indicated being confused by the powers that MC had, so I cooked this up a couple days ago. I’m sure it’s boring to read, especially if you haven’t read my WIP, but I’m proud of myself for coming up with it.
Snippet
Dragon Seeker Powers
*if (current_powers = 0)
I don’t any strange powers yet.
*elseif (current_powers = 1)
I hear a voice talking to me sometimes that claims to belong to a dragon.
*elseif (current_powers = 2)
I can talk to my dragon, Tempurion, who can communicate with the dragon of any Dragon Seeker.
My life will be prolonged, and it is suspected than I will stop aging once I reach adulthood.
*elseif (current_powers = 3)
I can talk to my dragon, Tempurion, who can communicate with the dragon of any Dragon Seeker.
My life will be prolonged, and it is suspected than I will stop aging once I reach adulthood.
I can look into both past and future, although the past is much easier to see clearly.
*elseif (current_powers = 4)
I can talk to my dragon, Tempurion, who can communicate with the dragon of any Dragon Seeker.
My life will be prolonged, and it is suspected than I've stopped aging.
I can look into both past and future. The past remains easier, but I have become more skilled at pinpointing which versions of the future are most likely.
I am able to slow down time around me, making my actions appear quicker to others, or speed up time around me which so far has only been useful to avoid waiting long periods of time.
Drawbacks of Powers
*if (current_powers < 2)
I don’t know of any current drawbacks to my power.
*elseif (current_powers = 2) or (current_powers = 3)
My chronic night terrors are caused by my bond with Tempurion.
*if (current_powers = 3)
While I can look into the past and future, I can only see the present as I experience it. How long I have to wait for the present to become the past remains unclear.
*elseif (current_powers = 4)
In addition to my nightmares, my powers occasionally cause inexplicable time anomalies. Thankfully, none have been as bad as the time I fell in the lake.
While I can look into the past and future, I can only see the present as I experience it. How long I have to wait for the present to become the past remains unclear.
11 Likes
Update on the IGG PH Indie Community Awards: I failed to bag the Excellence in Storytelling category award, but I know in my heart that a nomination is enough as a feather in my cap.
And now, here’s my snippet share, from chapter 4 of Lily Adventuresses! Episode 2…Some of the “sins” are taken wholesale from a certain Weird Al Yankovic song.
Context: The four female MCs and several others are being punished for their supposed 'sins' against the chapter antagonist, and those sins are being turned into nightmares that are then used against them.
Sheila Snow Detholator
Crime: Having a great role in the brutal death of my student, Decimus Valere Tyx.
Brionna Gondrezick
Crime: Disapproving of a now-defunct ritual at Sequana River in Archytus, which I’m a huge fan of.
Jopay Essery
Crime: Calling a distant friend of mine a crocodile.
Halina Simone Perez
Crime: Calling me out on my claim of being a member of the Church of the Goddess to solicit donations, believing it to be a scam (it’s not).
Paul Cyril Lachica
Crime: Calling himself “a catastrophic success”.
Santiago Daquis
Crime: Putting piranhas in my bathtub.
Ealhhund Salazar
Crime: Placing a poisonous cobra in my underwear drawer.
Griffin Fane Zarate
Crime: Slamming my face down on the barbecue grill.
Jamund Smesor Lumagui
Crime: Pulling out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers.
Reder Bourney Laguinto
Crime: Shaving off my eyebrows while I was asleep.
Morgana Fhukelya
Crime: Writing a children’s book that is of no value and instead promotes negativism.
Saraana Tang
Crime: Not showing off her belly button in public.
Mara Wylcey Lingayan
Crime: Stealing kisses.
Afgani Al-Mujahid Parico
Crime: Playing loud music that is not city pop.
Jack Robin Kerochan
Crime: Eating library paste.
Kian Kent Cook
Crime: Locking up a can of my favorite air freshener.
Frank Ken Doctolero
Crime: Baking a cake with the words “find the red positron” on it.
Arlene Jediscaya
Crime: Flooding my desk with pictures of cats and other disgusting animals.
Antanas Roberts
Crime: Disguising a box of vegetables as a box of donuts (I hate veggies!)
Bella Glinda Cunningham
Crime: Pretending to be “the goddess of quarrels”.
8 Likes
I’m adding a few additional choices to Chapter One to allow the reader to customise their Robin a bit more. Finally, I got around to adding the choice of eye colours. I have already come up with allowing the options for pale or bright [colour] eyes (still trying to figure out how to offer that for the colours apart from black ) but I’m currently looking for a couple more options. I thought of “cool” and “warm” but felt they would be too similar to “pale” and “bright”.
So I’ll be doing some more research this evening.
Eye colour choice
*choice shade colour
#A beautiful pale shade of…
#…brown.
*set eyes “pale brown”
*goto betroth_meet
#…blue.
*set eyes “pale blue”
*goto betroth_meet
#…hazel.
*set eyes “pale hazel”
*goto betroth_meet
#…amber.
*set eyes “pale amber”
*goto betroth_meet
#…grey.
*set eyes “pale grey”
*goto betroth_meet
#…green.
*set eyes “pale green”
*goto betroth_meet
#A beautiful bright shade of…
#…brown.
*set eyes “bright brown”
*goto betroth_meet
#…blue.
*set eyes “bright blue”
*goto betroth_meet
#…hazel.
*set eyes “bright hazel”
*goto betroth_meet
#…amber.
*set eyes “bright amber”
*goto betroth_meet
#…grey.
*set eyes “bright grey”
*goto betroth_meet
#…green.
*set eyes “pale green”
*goto betroth_meet
#A beautiful ??? shade of…
#…brown.
*set eyes “pale brown”
*goto betroth_meet
#…blue.
*set eyes “pale blue”
*goto betroth_meet
#…hazel.
*set eyes “pale hazel”
*goto betroth_meet
#…amber.
*set eyes “pale amber”
*goto betroth_meet
#…grey.
*set eyes “pale grey”
*goto betroth_meet
#…green.
*set eyes “pale green”
*goto betroth_meet
10 Likes
There’s no dark blue/brown/grey or whatever eye colors?
10 Likes
face palm
That was obvious…sorry I’m an idiot. Didn’t even occur to me as an option even though I know it is an option…
10 Likes
I’m glad you’re doing plain “brown” as an option! A lot of games have light brown and dark brown options for eyes and hair, but never the ordinary brown. I never know which one to choose 
. Maybe I just have a different definition of what constitutes as dark. I would call my hair “chocolate” or “chestnut” or something like that, and I wouldn’t think of it as dark
12 Likes
I have the same problem with blue! (Eyes, I mean, not hair.)
7 Likes