The demo was fun! I’m interested in learning more about the characters, and I like the idea that mages are the oppressors here. To me it makes more sense than the other way around.
I was hoping to spend time with your future squad/explore the world a bit before the initiation, to get immersed in the setting. And it would make the part where you learn that the other initiates didn’t make it have more of an impact. But then again, the way it’s set up now (the initiates watching each other’s trials) works for me too, and I’m sure we’ll get opportunities for exploration in later chapters.
Oh and what culture(s) is Jubai based on? The characters seem to have a mix of Asian and European names.
Also, I found what might be a typo/inconsistency, because I’ve only seen Huntmaster used once in the demo here: (sorry, I’m a bit of a stickler for these things lmao)
At your words, Inquisitor Delgado and Hunt Master Li step ceremoniously away from Matriarch Leto’s sides. You see a glimpse of Huntmaster Li’s mouth, and his normally jovial smile is missing.
Thanks for your feedback! The world and characters definitely get explored in further chapters. Maybe there will be an opportunity for a flashback to the initiate days later though, I’ll keep that in mind.
The name for Jubai is actually adapted from a city nearby where I live haha. I wanted to bring less traditional names and cultural elements in to get away from the traditional British medieval setting that dominates fantasy. So, the names and settings have a lot of influence from the regions where I’ve lived, like China/Taiwan, India, Central America, etc. There are actually some historical influences in the world too. The royalty of Jubai once had Chinese influence, the people of the city often have Spanish and Indian influence, and the mages have Nordic influence. But, these aren’t analogous to real world cultures and politics, I have just drawn on them to create the flavor and culture of the kingdom so please don’t read too much into them haha.
And thank you for catching that typo! If you see mistakes I definitely appreciate if you point it out.
God damn it you make me right character is based off of historian or legends that’s from material Hassan is the person I came up with the name the old man of the mountain Pretty much made The 1st assassins in history But I gotta say how you came for the story made me very interested and how I want to make my character based off
That sounds interesting! I look forward to reading more about those influences in the game. I think writing fictional societies that are a fusion of real-world cultures is fine, as long as it’s done respectfully and not in a one-dimensional way if that makes sense. But this is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.
I asked the question because I saw Dewi was one of the choices for the PC’s name, and I immediately recognised it as Indonesian xD
That’s great! It’s cool that someone caught that. Dewi is the unofficial main character that I usually imagine when I’m writing this - a Dutch-Indonesian woman in her early 20’s. But culturally she is from the capital city of the Kingdom of Jubai and the subculture of mage hunters. I just want to create something where players have choices outside of European white male, so if you or anyone spot somewhere I’m doing that, feedback is more than welcome.
It’s pretty difficult to create a fantasy culture, especially when most fantasy has the main white race and then very distinct other cultures like orcs or Dothraki. A more realistic and less problematic culture in my opinion reflects the multicultural metropolises of the real world where histories meet and mix. I’ve been trying to think about what kind of architecture, clothing, etc. people have while avoiding cliches and stereotypes. I’m not saying I’ve done a good job, but that is my goal.
Hi everyone! Here is a long overdue update. This project was a little stalled by major life events, but now it’s back on track, and I’m taking a fresh look at the chapters I’ve already written. What this means is progress is being made on the project (almost 7 of 12 chapters written), and there will be another chapter added to the demo soon. Hopefully that will allow you to see more of the characters and what the actual gameplay will be like. To give a little preview, many chapters involve a mission for the mage hunters, and each mission has multiple paths to get through. It’s a lot of work to make each path fulfilling, so I am continually working on past chapters as well as future ones. Also, a title has been chosen and approved! It will now be called Magehunter: Phoenix Flame. Thanks for reading, and I will update again soon.
I remember seeing this a few months back. It’s mostly fine storywise, though I am confused as to what exactly the Mage Hunters are within the city. They’re described as a secret rebellion of sorts, but in the anecdote of the fish barrel, the mages demand payment (from them, I would assume). Or if that meant they demanded payment from the initiates, why would oppressors do something so lame as ask for money instead of having them arrested or setting them on fire?
This is a great question thank you for pointing this out because it gives me a lot of ideas to focus on. On the most basic level, I was already considering what to do with this anecdote because it does seem a little silly and out of place somehow. But there are a lot more things going on with this. First is that this game is aimed at an NA audience - New Adult. That doesn’t exclude violence, and there is death and violence throughout, but I don’t generally get into gory details as an author because it’s just not my style. There’s also the fact that this anecdote is a story that young initiates have told to each other, that the player is themselves a young initiate about to face the realities of life but so far may be a bit ignorant of those realities. In fact, it’s implied that two of the people who did this trial might have actually died along the way. Maybe I need to make those moments more impactful, but it’s tricky since I don’t want to be telling the player how to feel. But there is also the balance of power to consider. I think I didn’t do a good enough job explaining that in this anecdote the initiates escaped and the chapter protected them. The mage hunters are a kind of rebellion, but it’s not so simple as going out to commit acts of terrorism every day or whatever. They are a decades old institution with chapters all over the city and the country. So in a way they are like a criminal organization that counters the mages. And the mages, though they control the government, are a minority. So, there is a power struggle. The mage hunters don’t quite have enough power to overthrow the mages, but the mages need to have the people on their side in order to stay in power. Their current leader puts quite a lot of effort into the illusion of control, and in fact the mages have an election later in the story where all the common people are involved supporting their preferred candidate even though it’s only the mage council that actually gets to vote. So for the mages to kill kids that aren’t even full hunters in broad daylight in front of everyone is extremely bad optics. That doesn’t mean some mages aren’t cruel and sadistic (and I probably need to include more of them in the story now that you mention it). But they generally try to practice their cruelty out of sight of the public. And they don’t have enough power to go knocking on the mage hunters’ door demanding they hand kids over for execution - unless something extreme happens. Finally, the mages have a range of personalities. Some are cruel, some are just doing their job, some see their relationship with the mage hunters as a friendly rivalry, and some may even sympathize with them. Just like the real world police and organized gangsters. And I’ve tried to offer the player a whole spectrum of responses too, from violence to a possible pacifist path through the game. So, these are my goals but I definitely need to work on little pieces of worldbuilding like you pointed out in order to make this picture come together.
Hi everyone, just thought I’d post a progress update. I just finished the first draft of Chapter 7. It took quite a while because this chapter has 4 major branches to choose from, which made it just under 22,000 words. But I think it’s worth it to explore the characters and the world more. In this chapter, Nylund is running for reelection as archmage. You have the chance to get inside information about the election, the mages, and some other secrets. You also have the chance to develop your relationship with Gael, Rio, or a character that hasn’t been revealed in the demo yet.
Anyway, just thought I’d let you all know how I’m progressing. This was a big chapter, so things might start to happen faster from here until the end of the book. Thanks for reading!
Just a little note that Magehunter: Phoenix Flame is now in Coming Soon on Steam! Add it to your wishlist (even if you plan to buy on a different platform) as it really helps us!
Oh, somebody noticed! Yes, it’s in the same world but it takes place a few generations after Battlemage and the world has changed. The tone and style are similar to Battlemage, but hopefully the characters and plot will be deeper and choices will matter more. This means a lot more branching and writing for me, but I think it’s worth it. Thank you for your kind words!
That’s so exciting! It’s been a while since I played Battlemage, but I remember having a lot of fun with it. I like elemental magic systems. I liked the way you made the setting feel like medieval Europe without having to adhere to historical demographics. I especially enjoyed the focus on the character’s education - I can’t get enough magical school stories, and this was like magical school for autodidacts!
I’ll definitely have to play Battlemage again when Magehunter comes out, so I can see how the setting has evolved. Do I dare hope for an Easter egg or two for especially attentive readers?
Hi everyone! Just a quick update. I just finished writing the 8th chapter of this project. It was about 17,000 words, bringing the game total to about 125,000 so far. It’s already pretty long, but I’ve spotted even more places I need to add more opportunities for romance and to advance the main objectives.
Next I think I’ll add a third chapter to the demo while I look for opportunities to set up the endings in early chapters. So stay tuned for that.
In Chapter 8, things are getting serious and complicated! Inquisitor Delgado is living up to her title by conducting an inquisition, and nobody is safe from her questioning. The player must decide who to side with, and what to say when the inquisitor comes to interrogate them.
This chapter turned out to be very complicated to write. I decided to bring in all the past relationships and stats that had been building up until this point. This is the dramatic ending of Act 2, so your choices will change everything from here on out.
Okay, that’s all I’m willing to spoil for now, so stay tuned for that demo!