Checked off checklists are the best. What are you using to make your lists?
Just google docs; I like that it has the check/strikethrough combo lol makes it more satisfying somehow.
Happy Birthday!
Thank you!! ![]()
@aventurine Thank you! ![]()
@JBento You are lol I should have credited you
The pockets will be there, they just arenāt relevant yet, but rest easy knowing all outfits have the pockets by default. And thank you! (for the birthday wishes and the list contributions) ![]()
@anon64559722 Thank you!! ![]()
Happy birthday ![]()
I think Iām responsible for the existence of, like, half that list. Sorry. ![]()
Happy birthday! ![]()
But also, where are my pockets!? ![]()
Me, apparently. ![]()
Happy birthday and good work!!
![]()
Iāve finished the Honor Bound first draft! 525000 words in fifteen months⦠Iām immensely proud and will be getting on with various playtesting, balancing, and whatnot tomorrow - but for the moment Iām going to have a nice lie-down ![]()
Have a nice dinner with your partner. Both of you deserve it.
@HarrisPS congratulations! ![]()
Looks awesome!
Thanks for the tip - I immediately added my chapter 4 notes to google docs - [ ] makes an automatic check list item - so fun to check yay!
I forgot it was excerpt sharing day!
Carousel Paradox: Chapter 3
I leave Pricilla behind and fight my way through the crowd. It does not take long and resistance is minimal. I head out the door following Frank and his best man once free of the retreating guests. I hook a hand around the door frame to turn that little bit faster and race after. It does not take long for me to chase down the others and I stop at the site of a woman in the corner of a hallway crying and shaking.
Frank heads towards the woman to console her while his best man keeps his distance, seemingly stunned. I notice a door left ajar and step over to it to pear in.
The room is an organized mess of books, Japanese antiques, and papers spread out in a larger room. Bookshelves and display cases line most of the walls and to one side of the room is a glass table that is aesthetically displeasing to the feel of the rest of the room. What makes it worse is the bloody overlay that makes me think of @{Scholastic Jackson Pollock | those famous splat } paintings. I quickly spot the source: a body half sprawled over the glass table.
āOh shit,ā slips from my lips before I realize what Iām saying.
I donāt have anything that would make a good excerpt this month, but today I finished the first of the four major branching paths Iāve been struggling through for the past couple months! This one is the one I think is going to be the longest, so it puts me much closer to finishing the second chapter this month.
So I have a strange one! Does something that feels modern, but is actually archaic, take you out of a story?
For instance, the word āyeetā is actually not modern - it is from yeten, to flow. So you could say, in the early 1800s, someone has been yeeted out of a window and it is totally fine.
But it doesnāt feel fine, does it?
Similarly the phrase smoke and mirrors. Feels old⦠actually dates from 1975. Itās as old as Jaws.
In my testing of Patchwerks (Late Victorian Age setting) whenever I use modern phrases and terms (i.e. āblingā) it takes the reader out of the story.
Expanding on my anecdotal evidence, I would assume that if the setting was modern, using an archaic sounding phrase (even one which was not) would also take the reader out of the story.
Thatās whatās known as the Tiffany Problem. The name āTiffanyā existed in the Middle Ages as a derivative of āTheophania,ā but no author would dare use that name for a medieval character because it smells like 1980.
Personally, Iām all for authenticity, but itās probably better to err on the side of cultivating the right historical feel, which means yeeting āyeet.ā
An excellent way to see it this is tone. You can do a story full medieval with full modern names without nobody find it weird if your tone goes well with it matching the energy. A clear example Mark Twain a Yankee in Arthur throne is full with anachronisms and stuff is not but people thing they sound but nobody complaint because matches the comedy.
I found really weird thing complaints about accuracy of names in a Choice of games⦠And personally I wouldnāt care for that in playersā¦
I donāt write docs so my vision comes way first
Chugging along well in Lily Adventuresses! Episode 1. Finished 2 chapters out of the planned 5.
From the start of Chapter 3
[Rhenās Grave: Inscription]
āHere lies Rhen Robato, drow assassin, Red Sister, and āChoice Instance No. 8409ā.
She wanted to see the light, even if that meant being enveloped by the dark forever.ā
Ida:
Rhen, Iām back.
With a new friend in tow.
Jada:
You gave her an honorable burial all by yourself?
Ida:
Yes. Using whatever I can easily find in dungeons.
Jada:
Good. So howād you meet her in the first place?
Ida:
Rhen, despite being attracted to fellow women, which was quite common in the Red Sisterhood, had quite the high standard.
She would confide to me that she would pay for the date if she knew the one she would date was a traditional girl, someone who retains their purity. Not those liberated girls who enjoyed casual hookups.
She was even confident that she could distinguish liberated and traditional girls on how the way they acted, what their views were, and how their personalities in public tended to be.
Jada:
Howād she get to develop that mindset?
Ida:
She grew up in a broken home.
Her parents would always quarrel over financial nonsense.
And when they decided to break off from each other, they left her to her own devices.
Jada:
And⦠howād you know you were the one for her?
Ida:
Simple. She INVESTED in me.
An average girl I may be, but to her, I⦠am actually beautiful.
Of course, being from a happy family, Iām always supportive and appreciative.
The hotter ones, meanwhile, tend to have more inflated egos, since they have more options in the market.
You need to realize that the really hot girl youāre fantasizing about in college or work has already been with others in the last 2 to 5 years.
While me, this simple girl who barely had any friends, tended to shy out in public, wasnāt in a relationship at all beforeā¦
To her, I was that special someone.
Jada:
So it made sense that you two were getting sick and tired of fighting for the demon lord and decided to live together in peace, to be the exemplars for the other drow.
Ida:
Yes. And thatās why she offered me to have a vacation somewhere peaceful.
And⦠look where that got her.
I think⦠we were just being born at the wrong place, and at the wrong time!
Jada:
Donāt say things like that!
Youāre about to show your weakest side again!
Ida:
I-Iām sorry.
[Beat]
Ida:
And even though weāre far apart now, Rhen, I know youāre always watching me from where the Goddess is.
Plus, this new friend of mine⦠the legendary heroine, Jada Roberta Cockrum, she experienced pretty much the same losses as me.
She would jive along with you easily as much as I did.
Thanks to her, Iāll continue seeing the light you sought.
Jada:
Thatās more like it.
Ida:
Alright, letās get down to business, Jada.
And see you again some time⦠my love.
This morning, my focus was on representation.
I spent a lot of time making sure that my character cast had the right mix of traits and personality features that promoted the world building and construction I desired.
Is it perfect? Probably not, but I do hope it allows my audience that will be reading my story to feel seen and included.
Here is an article that might interest those that share this goal of mine:
Diversity/Inclusivity in Writing Article
One other thought on this from the āproviding feedbackā side of things:
It has been my personal experience that many writers and game makers use people from their real lives in designing characters in their stories and games.
Because of this fact, I have learned to make my feedback very narrow and focused on exactly the issue being brought up about a character I might be critiquing.
When giving feedback to authors about their characters, I suggest going over what you write with this fact in mind, so they donāt become defensive and closed to your feedback, if the character in question is indeed based off a real life person.
Now it is time to focus on grammar and other such improvements for the rest of the day.
I hope everyoneās week has started well. ![]()
I finally found out how to get my Mass Effect 3 to launch, so well enough, I guess. ![]()
