I mean someone that is still able to die, but be able to heal fatal wounds, so they won’t be immortal but they would be close to it.
@Moreau has some great advice, but it might not fix the dryness thing completely. I have a suggestion and a question:
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Don’t bother fixing any grammar or spelling issues yet. That comes later. A lot of people waste effort correcting the grammar and spelling of passages that they are eventually going to revise anyway.
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Who is your (@SheaMcD) favorite fantasy author?
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Okay, so I finally played the demo a bit (only played until the part where you bump into someone I think and he apologized?)
Anyway, up until that point, I must say the game is a bit…rushed. Alright, the beginning of every story is the bane of almost everyone I think (at least for me) and is not always as easy as it probably sounds. To me, your beginning almost comes in through a barricaded door with full force while not saying much at all. I would have loved a bit more explanations and a bit more intel in where we are staying and what we do there.
One of the first ‘problems’ (can we even call them that?) would be the beginning of almost every sentence. Not to say they are wrong, but in the first two or three pages you begin almost everything with ‘You’. Well, it is not a problem in itself, but it sounds boring after a while if you read the same beginning over and over again. Try to restructure your sentences or use different words alltogether 
For example;
You wake up with a start and look around, you sigh with relief when you realize it was just a bird at the window.
Nothing is wrong here, but it might maybe sound better if you would write it like this:
With a startled gasp you sit up in your bed, looking around frantically in your room before you turn to the window and see that it is just a bird.
That is just an example and it is your choice to do that or not. It would just be a bit more interesting to have other words than always ‘You’ standing there. ~ 
I hope that it helps a bit ~
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“Highlander”?
Sorry, just kidding. I love brainstorming names.
Perhaps work with “eternal” instead of immortal so people won’t play the game humming Evanescense in their head.
“Draughts of the Eternal”? (Thinking like the person you captures you wants a drink of what you’re having…) “Drops of Eternity” (the blood that drips out of MC is eternal?)
“Fate of the Undying”? (sounds vampire-ish). “End of the Eternal”?
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Thanks, that’s what I meant by “the story might seem a little… Dry”
Eternal? Now you’re onto something.
The Eternal Traveller ? (If the MC constantly moves from one place to another it could work out)
But anyway , don’t forget that you always have the (now updated !) backup title : The Tale of the Eternal Robot Arm McStabby Guy (™)
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I was actually think of something like “The eternal tale/story” or “Tale/Story of the eternal” … “Chronicles of the eternal?” (maybe not the third one)
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Make a character with a robot arm, then name her Armanda. 
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The best I can come up with for the title is “Tales of Life Eternal.” Coming up with title names is pretty difficult.
If I may make another much smaller suggestion?
Stay away from anything to do with immortality or eternity. Let the player discover that part of the game in the course of the narrative. Perhaps something a tad subtler?
The Long View
Survivor’s Guilt
The Tyranny of Survival
Perhaps something short and punchy?
Undying
The Survivor
Last Man Standing
I could go on all day, but you get the idea…
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I liked that one, the MC can’t die, so they see their friends and family die, making them feel guilty that they couldn’t do anything.
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WEEW WEEW WEEW!!! Did I just hear someone say Last MAN Standing? THAT IS NOT PC BRAH!! I will not stand for misogynistic titles. Its Last Person Standing ok? Are we going to have a problem? Me and my PC posse are ready to throw down!!!
(Totally joking)
It took me longer than I’d like to admit to figure out that you were making siren noises…
I thought you were taking a wee-wee on my post…
It was very upsetting…
Yeah, just a little South Park humor. This last season was awesome. They totally took the piss out of the PC crowd.
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I got a title name…
Ethereal’s Bane
The words really define the story(atleast in my opinion)
Undying is the name of an existing Clive Barker game, although titles are fair game so long as you don’t steal content from the existing property unwittingly or deceptively.
I have an idea that needs your opinion.
I was wondering if you choose to lose your immortality, then the game will sort of end quicker than having immortality. Let me explain, since you would be able to choose to have immortality or not I don’t want it to end there, maybe I could add on more chapters with different adventures when you choose immortality, but if you choose to be mortal then it ends around there.
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Holy cow. Maybe put the lines from different people on different levels? I couldn’t keep up with half of what was going on. One second I get stabbed, next I’m talking to myself or pulling out a sword, or something. I’m so confused. It’s like this is being told by a squirrel on a sugar high…
For all you know, I am a squirell on a sugar high. I’ll try to change it so it flows better.
Ahh! It’s the end! The squirrels have discovered the Internet!
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