Immaterial Plain: Powerful Rising; [October 4th, 2019 Update] WIP

I liked the demo, I wonder what will we have to do next.

  • Just two things: it would be easier and more aesthetically pleasing if there were breaks to separate the paragraphs. It was a bit difficult to read when everything was condensed :slight_smile:

  • The creator keeps changing pronouns. Maybe it was intended that way, I just wanted to point it out. During the “thou shalt leave” scene.

  • Per chance, were you inspired by other works when you wrote it? (I am only asking since I am currently obsessed with a similar-themed anime. Perhaps you’ve heard of it, “Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun”? Only the part with the ranks, mind you.)

Keep up the good work, good luck!

I was influenced by Demon: Recollect. I’ve never heard of “Welcome to Demon School Iruma-Kun”. I’m unaware of any pronouns that keep changing, it would be incredibly helpful if you could point them out specifically. Thanks for the advice!

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It is a manga, really, the anime only aired two weeks ago. I am not surprised :slight_smile:

There are many instances of the pronoun “his” switching to “they”/“their”. I will try to post screenshots or at least a list as soon as possible.

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Do it at your own pace. :slight_smile:

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Im looking forward for what this game has instore for us. Hopefully we can get another chapter or 2
One question. Do we get to leave the estate with money, troops ect?

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Money nor Troops will not be available when leaving the estate. However, Chapter 2 [The current ending of the Demo] will give you chances to get Troops.

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I like it so far, I really don’t know why you think your writing isn’t that good.

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