I am glad you’re still working on your story I hope you still doing what you like involved in this
Thank you kindly for the feedback that is what I was going for.
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Thank you kind
Thank you kindly, I’m loving it more than ever. It’s great to hear from you.
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Hello Hector, yes for now the demo ends there. I took the other chapters offline because they haven’t been edited yet and I’m still implementing changes from the feedback I’ve received over the past three months. I’m hoping to have Chapters 4 and 5 updated and added in about a week.
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I’ve added another chapter to the demo. This is chapter 4, titled the Dreaming and the Dead.
The big change here is the approach I’ve taken to the Spin and Donnie relationship arcs. There’s a lot more focus on romance in these relationships as well as interpersonal conflicts. But I’ve also let a lot of scope for non romantic relationships with these characters, betrayals, etc.
The demo currently ends with the introduction of Fong.
https://dashingdon.com/play/jollyspaniard/hkbo-closed-beta/mygame/
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Looking forward for more, I’ll give my feedback once everything that needs to be released is now out.
One thing that bugs me (pun intended) is that when I took the writer path and the paths on what my character will take throughout the game was presented in the funeral, it showed the choice of Seiko and her comic when in fact there was no scene where Seiko appeared, all I read was that my MC found a comic about a ninja girl lying in his father’s house. Perhaps an explanation or detail where it is explained that the lead of the comic is named Seiko, or maybe you wrote a scene where Seiko appeared and somehow it didnt appear in the demo.
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Thank you for your feedback. You have indeed spotted a big boo boo on my part. I’m addressing that now .
I hope you like the writers arc to come. I’m really excited about it.
I’ve updated the demo to address the writers arc omissions in chapter 4. Thanks again for the feedback.
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Thanks again to everyone for all your feedback. Sorry for the long radio silence but I took two weeks off writing to visit family and friends in England.
I’ve added chapter 5 and 6 to the demo. To those that remember the old Snake chapter you’ll notice that it is now almost completely different.
Have a great weekend. I’m now working on getting chapters 7 and 8 rewritten and added to the demo.
https://dashingdon.com/play/jollyspaniard/hkbo-closed-beta/mygame/
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I read the latest demo chapters and noticed that you’ve changed some of the contents to make them more complete and the transitions more naturally, such as the first meeting and conversation with the trio, there are no more contradictions now haha.
I see the labels that the story contains romance options. Forgive me,my reading was focused on being a detective trying to find the truth and enjoyed the adventure in Hong Kong, so…MC’s ROs probably include Donnie,Spin,Baiyu and maybe Luke?I really like Fong haha,I can’t say no to a gentleman, even if he’s not so righteous.
Usually romance is one of the parts I focus on (if included),but when I read this one, I focused more on the story itself and I’m sure I enjoyed more the atmosphere you made.
Anyway looking forward to subsequent chapters. 
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Thank you so much for your feedback. I’m really glad you liked it. I remember every piece of feedback I get and it has a lot of influence on my process even if it takes a few months to get there.
There’s a lot of romance in the upcoming chapters. I don’t want to say how they progress or who but your guesses are all accurate and you’ll probably be adding a few more names to that list over the next few chapters.
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Oh wow. Randomtest didnt flag this! Thank you.
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Hm, seeing this pop up near the top of the latest posts reminded me I started playing a long time ago and never finished. I should play it again.
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Thanks again everybody for all the feedback, bug reports and your kind words. I’ve added the 7th Chapter and also added romance sections to Chapter 6.
The demo terminates in Macau just before the game’s halfway point.
I’m really enjoying the rewrite and all the feedback. You guys really give me a lot of enthusiasm to keep going. I couldn’t do it without you. I can’t thank you enough.
https://dashingdon.com/play/jollyspaniard/hkbo-closed-beta/mygame/
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I think chapter 7 is broken. I didnt chose the Spin path yet I receive a mission where I help him on his heist and refuse donnie even if I originally helped Donnie. There’s also a bug where if you rescue Sister Ting’s brother no paragraph appears, only the choices.
Also a minor issue I have in the game, I think you should reduce the amount of repetitive choices especially in romance portions. Like, I already expressed interest in one RO and I dont want to be presented with choices if I want to bang another RO or do some weird stuff with them. Especially the hair options when it comes to expressing interest, I find it a bit weird when it presents you an option that expresses your interests to how their hair looks good or not. I think a better physical description or characters is what is needed for the players to visualize who do we want to romance. With the enormous ensemble of side characters I keep forgetting what they look like especially with the lack of appearance descriptions.
I also want to add that the gun option is broken. There are combat scenes where I can shoot down enemies, then there are scenes where the option to shoot someone is greyed out even if I had a gun on a previous or future scene and I have a considerable skill on Spotting and Shooting.
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Thank you so much for that feedback. I really appreciate that.
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Yeah, that’s a weird one 
I also noticed that the latest chapter didn’t seem to change the costumes in the state, even though it mentioned that we bought a suit.
My last save file is almost at the end of chapter 6 so I haven’t see any romance sections(well mayebe I just haven’t noticed), let me try it later.
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I’ve posted a revised demo.
https://dashingdon.com/play/jollyspaniard/hkbo-closed-beta/mygame/
I haven’t address all the issues you pointed out yet but I’ve fixed a few of them. And I’ve also redone the Donnie and Spin rom sequences in Chapter 6.
Thanks again for that feedback, every sentence was a gold mine of information for me. It’s easy to get lost in the project and things which might be glaring to an external observer become invisible to me. I really appreciate you taking the time to play the demo and write me that feedback.
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No worries! I also have another suggestion if you dont mind.
The Fong part must be central to your plot but personally I dont feel connected with it. Feels railroady even. I think you need to write up more scenes or interactions or maybe even a choice to refuse him so it doesnt feel that way. The way the Mc is now working for him feels kinda forced and took away my interest.
Fong has to be more convincing for it not to feel like being railroaded. Maybe tailor him more to our choices. Make him more fitting to what path we took. The MC is a writer? Maybe show him he’s an influential person in the Hong Kong film industry or maybe he knows someone who does. The MC is working with Donnie? Maybe use Donnie to show how important Fong is to the plot for us to be more engaged with him. You went with Spin at the heist job, maybe show him that Fong can get what Spin is or part of it. Anything just to make Fong more important and not get the players bored.
I think I also found a bug. When I was on the writer’s path and chose to write Seiko’s comic on chapter 7 no prose showed up to describe what went with the writing. Soon as I pressed it it goes straight back to the choices of activities you can do. And also healing up your wounds takes you straight up into a scene with Sister Ting.
Speaking of wounds, I find the whole Snake confrontation weak and confusing. I dont know what choices to go with because for me it doesnt state clearly which choice would play to my strengths. Might make players annoyed since in combat situations they want to win. I’m not saying you dumb it down but maybe improve it a bit more? Just check out the Sins of the Sires thread and see how many people are complaining that they lose on important skill checks. Just needs a bit tweaking that’s all.
I can see this game having a potential which is why I’m interested in seeing this through. You got this.
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