Honey and Fire (TEMPORARY HIATUS - New RO added)

Is Day one of the people he doesn’t care if he live or die

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I wanna leave really getting to know the characters for the game itself, but I’ll answer this because I don’t know if (or when) the answer to this will come up. I would like to say Day is still in the fight to live. He’s been through a lot (everyone has) and he shows such a phlegmatic attitude even in regards to what happens to him, but he’s not going to lay down and die if he can help it.

He wants to stick around for his dogs like have you seen a dog mourn its owner wow lets not have that okay

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Hey everyone! There’s been a big update, as stated in the original post.

The word count is now up to almost 17k words (including code). A lot of it is teeny tiny (not really) branches though, so I’m not sure how long that translates into a single playthrough.

Whats new:
-Finishing making your character.
-Have a super helpful and informative talk with Day (not)
-Have an actually informative talk with Zenos
-Meet the rest of the team
-End your first day (evening? Couple hours?) in Amveros
-New stats. I removed one and replaced it with two more I saw getting more traction throughout the story, and they don’t do anything yet, but I am still dissatisfied with the current stats so they’ll probably change again.

I was unsure a lot of the time while writing choices and stuff, so please tell me if there are choices you wanted to see when interacting with everyone and customizing your MC.

Oh! And a tumblr is now available.

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Loved it so far, can’t wait to continue this when there’s more!
As for the “Bravery/Fear” stat thing, I don’t feel fear should be the opposite to bravery simply because they aren’t opposites, but rather one and the same. Without fear “bravery” isn’t particularly brave at all. While “Cowardice” generally means choosing not to face your fears, hence being the polar opposite to bravery. It’s (obviously)up to you what you go with but just wanted to share my thoughts on that.

EDIT: The “Fearless/Fearful” option works if you don’t want to use cowardice, but I feel like that runs in to the same problem as “Bravery/Fear” would, as fearless doesn’t necessarily mean brave while fearful doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not brave.
Sorry for getting caught up on that, maybe it’s not so important this early on for the story and what you’re focusing on atm.

And uh, I don’t generally like asking for what I want to see when it comes to choices but, you asked and I can’t resist.
It would be really nice, in the context of how this story starts, if there was a quiet and confused(but genuine and kind at the same time) kind of option in every choice at least a while in to the story until you start to maybe get to know these people a little and where you are and why etc. I just found it odd that my character would make casual small-talk and inquiries about unimportant(in the context of almost complete memory loss) subjects so early after waking up confused and somewhat lost is all. I understand completely if that would somehow go against the direction you’re going with the story or whatever reason there could be but I just wanted to throw that out there anyway. Sorry for the small rant.

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Koda is adorable! :heart_eyes: (Day is still not cute, though. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: )

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, otherwise, the writing still felt pretty good, but there were a few issues. I think I noticed a few places where you slipped into past tense, mostly in Day’s PoV. It also felt like some of the turns-of-phrase were unnatural: e.g. calling a dog a “100 lb descendent of a wolf”… I don’t think anybody would really think like this. :confused: Maybe just thinking of it as a “wolf”? :thinking:

It also felt weird that an MC with no memory would feel as much shame over their own nudity, and I was wondering if it might have made sense to let the player choose how to feel about it? :thinking: There were also a few times when they seemed to remember things from their past (like elf sizes), too… :confused:

Anyway, it’s still a very good read (plus Koda :blush:), so good luck with the story! :smile:

I really enjoyed the update!

The only suggestion I have at this point is to include some more (fake) choices, just to decrease the number of consecutive pages without choices. Like near the end, you might let the player choose who they think gets locked out quite often. Just as an idea. :thinking:

What else to say. :thinking: I really enjoyed the interactions with Day and Zenos and although the story just started, I already crush a bit on both of them. :sweat_smile: Still need to see more of the girls and Koda (he’s cute though), but so far they seem quite likeable and interesting.

Anyway, I really like your story, your writing style and your characters and am looking forward to reading more from you. Hope you have a great day!

And I have to disagree with @Parrotwatcher. Day is definitely cute too. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m glad you think so @Jharin because even as his creator I agreed with @ParrotWatcher :joy: I was sitting there, writing him, just thinking “god he’s so not cute…” but I still love him lol. I wanted his not-cute personality among the ROs. But if you’re crushing on him anyway Jharin, then I’m doing my job :+1:
(and I’m glad Koda and Zenos are liked so far! I hope to allow the player to get to know Koda and the girls more next update)

hkdhvkd thank you, I’ll take a look. I’m still not used to writing in present tense.

Also this. I overthink things and create the least likely scenarios but treat them as what will definitely happen. When I wrote that I was thinking if I call it a wolf people will say “dOgS ArEn’T wOlvES!!!” hence the… weird phrasing there. Oops haha

This however

Thanks for pointing that out, because that’s all on purpose and is supposed to stand out as something odd.

It’s due to the nature of the MC’s memory loss. Instinct and trivial things naturally ingrained remain. I’m going to let the player choose later how they feel about showing their skin, but that right there was meant to be instinct (Like, despite being a dragon, it’s like… someone… taught you to feel shame about certain human parts of your body as regular human might… :neutral_face:;;; Uh, I’ll see about making that a choice instead, though) and the thing about elves was meant as a, “I don’t think elves are this size… wait, why do I think that?” I guess that didn’t come through :sweat_smile: I’m glad you said something though, I’ll work harder to make it more clear in the story!

The way I’m writing the MC’s memory problems is a more extreme version of my own memory issues based on repression and the like. There’s a lot of wondering if something really happened, very brief flashbacks that slip away as soon as you try to focus on them and leave you wondering if you actually just saw that, and having knowledge of things you have no idea where you learned them. (Edit: body memories too! Body memories will play a big part as well)

That’s the thing I was most worried about! I’m gonna try my best to give plenty of choices in the future, but I’ll also take a look at what I’ve already written and see where I can add more interaction. That suggestion is good, though. It’ll probably invoke some amusing responses from Niina at least lol.

No, I appreciate hearing your thoughts! That’s the one stat I’m most frustrated with and it’s good to get other opinions. The wording is just… No matter what I choose, the wording feels off for what I mean. It might get taken out and replaced with someone completely different if I can’t figure this out, but I’m still trying to brainstorm how to proceed with a stat like that.

Yes! I’ll try to give more of those. I realize I had to somewhat railroad the MC into asking Day and Zenos things (especially Day because the name choice is in one of the things you ask him haha;; but I thought “who are you” is a reasonable thing to ask a stranger who might or might not have kidnapped you) I want to include wildly different options for different types of MCs, like ones who adjust quickly (or maybe don’t realize the weight of the situation), but I might have forgotten about MCs who would be more hesitant but not outright hostile. Asking Day who he is will still be required (all the other questions you can skip btw. I’ll also move asking about his dogs’ names into an optional choice), but I think I’ll go back and add a quiet option to naturally skip questioning Zenos about less pressing matters.

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I play all choices in Honey and fire to me you did great job on this I wish you good luck on Honey and Fire

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I really love this game so far. I LOVE Day! He is dark and brooding and brings back all my dreams of the “bad boy”. Hard to get through to but you just know once you do he will be loving and loyal and worth it all. Lol. I also like Koda. He is young and seems fun, which our MC may need a bit of with all the problems in their life.
I love the idea of giving us an option on how to feel about showing skin when Day mentions it. He just made me want to say “You’ve seen mine now show me yours.” Lol.

Thank you! :blush:

Yeah! I’m avoiding falling into the trope most “bad boy” types fall into where he’s unapologetically a jerk to you and only when he’s magically fallen in love with you does it just. Stop. (Or it never stops yikes) But bad boy is definitely what I had in mind when making Day. I’m hoping to make his progression through a romance with him very satisfying even if it’s a bit tough~
I’m happy you like both Day and Koda :grin:

HAHAHAHA

Day.exe has stopped working.

okay, okay. Later tonight I’ll change that scene into a choice. I’ll include a flirty option because why not? Just woke up in a strange room with a strange man who might be dangerous but he’s attractive so let’s give it a shot.

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Love the new update , even though…it just leave me hungry for more lol

The only thing is…kinda felt overwhelmed by ‘introduction to the team’ , too many peoples…too fast lol . But that’s just me .

Also , tell me that first choice…doesn’t block you from a futur romance ? I mean if I don’t pick ‘She is kinda cute…’’…

I can choose a romance later ? just though from a role play…my character would test the water first before…

Edit: and what is…uh…heterochromatic and odd-eye ?

This is really good, I love your expository writing, it’s really nice to read.

Aah, I love Day’s dogs so much. Assuming we don’t romance Day, can we still have a close relationship with Hati and Skoll? (I mean, I’m going to romance Day anyway, but I want to love these dogs properly on every playthrough)

Excited to see more!

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Heterochromia iridum is a condition in which the eyes are multicolored or mismatched. heterochromia

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ohhhh , thanx lol didn’t know the term .

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I would just love to see Day’s reaction to the flirty option. Lol.
I also agree with @M.Zhou. Dogs are life and deserve all the loves. Lol

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Of course not! No worries, those choices are just for first impressions (which is why I tried to make them more neutral and superficial). They give a very small starting boost to certain relationship points (or take some away), but saying you’re interested from the start is totally unnecessary to starting a romance or a friendship. You can make it a more natural progression if you’d prefer. (Hell, you can even say you don’t like someone from the start and gradually change that as you go)

Also yes, I understand. It’s a lot to take in, meeting so many people at once :sweat_smile:

Yeah! If you choose not to romance Day, you can still go for a friendship with him and you’ll see more of Hati and Skoll that way! (This hasn’t come up, but I thought I’d mention anyway, saying you’re scared of dogs won’t lock you out of anything with Day either, it’ll just make a romance/friendship with him… interesting :wink:)

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I’m super intriged by the mc’s past (I already have some theories :eyes::eyes:) and all the characters seem pretty cool :clap: I’ll keep my eyes on this wip

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Enjoyed the update, and I like our teammates a lot from what we have seen of them so far! I will make Day my friend so I can get more playtime with his good good dogs, so help me.

Out of curiosity, what color are the MC’s eyes if you pick mismatched eyes or is intentionally vague for us to just imagine whatever color combo we want?

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I love your writing style it actually reminds me quite a bit of my favourite author - not a CoG one.

and I already know that Day is going to be my RO :slight_smile: and I’ll make sure to follow the tumblr page as I will definitely be following this story and I already use Tumblr a lot.

Summary

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I love theories :wink:

It’s vague so you can imagine what you like! I could add an extra choice after that to choose each color if people want (for the immersion of it), but it won’t have an effect. Any comment you get on your eyes would be about the heterochromia itself.

Is that so? That’s really flattering! If you don’t mind sharing, can I ask who it is?
(and I’m glad Day is gaining some fans :wink:)

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