Hi! I haven’t dropped by in a while haha (;^; school can do things to you omg) but! I love it so far! Some spelling errors and such, but I really love the story and the narrative!
It’s so rare to get a choose your own path story where the main character is as developed as the others! (I just love the different personalities first can be!)
I also love the narrative and story line, it’s really robust and holds your interest.
I’ll probably drawing some more fan art xD keep up the great work! (Also, since you did/do art for your story I was wondering if you’d incorperate it into the story somehow? I was thinking maybe include the art in their “about character” section maybe? XD sorry if this has already been asked!)
In two moves you had taken it by the wrist and pulled the rest of that thing in close while turning to throttle him with the other hand. The glass on its forearm was sturdier than you thought, guess you didn’t’t need to be ‘as’ careful of breaking your new friend. didn’t
“Arghhhh, that’s not NICE, good thing I didn’t ask for a break eh?” t chuckled and fell to dust.
You can understand the logic, but you’re not used to seeing all this brutality. Sure it may not be morally ‘right’ in the eyes of other’s, but isn’t survival the most important thing ! ? I think
You watch him plummet idly wondering how he was still in one piece. is
“My new friend here is the only reason you and golden boy aren’t dead… care to test my patience again Magpie?”
But why?, I’m playing a character who have no issue with killing,in fact, I just tried to kill him myself. If the reasons ares obvious or I am supposed to not know why, please ignore my question.
To be honest current revisions and corrections are before the obstacle course. For fair warning.
I’m not sure I understand what you mean, should I stop looking for error after the obstacle course or do you mean something else?
If not
No one was looking nobdoy cared hooking your thumbs into you pants down they went and you hung those up too. nobody
They whispers the word ‘naked’ as quietly as possible, this is too perfectyou put a hand to your ear and raise a quesitoning brow, making the poor things repeat themselves louder and louder many of the customers gasping laughhing or staring.
perfect you, questioning, laughing
. If you coulld giggle you’d almost be falling over yourself in this changeroom; such a trouble_maker could
IF you want to wear a three piece suit you will! If you want to where a gown you can! That’s freedom in a nutshell. wear
The store was just bustling, fighting your way through was a bad idea. It would cause more trouble than it was worth, not to mention Empathy wouldn’t be too pleased. By the way where was she? She really seemed to be enjyoing herself in here. enjoying
-New information on First’s methods of communication have rendered that is a rather frustrated and inclined to respond darkly or in silence. A brooder it seems. they are, she is, he is (depending on the First)
Weighing in at 450lbs since last measurements it appears that tissue and bone density is triple that of a normal 19 year old androgyne. since this First was born female they should be compared to a female If the KRV want their data to mean anything, their body remain female,after all.
Well consider that a coding mishap intruding upon one’s future self image. I’ll have to fix that.
SIDENOTE
I have stumbled upon the fact that it’s been a LONG time since my last spell check (namely because the irritating glitch I found in the notepad++ spell checker. BUT I had some spare time to hunt down a fix.
NOW I can teach it words YAY! Like names. places ect… so that’ll save ,a ton of time and effort hunting those down, ANYway now that I’ve done that I’ve also run a full spell check and updated the file so much of those annoyingg typos may finally be cleared up… (but I could be wrong, sry it took me so long to fix the glicthyness of my spell checker.
Gonna have to fine tune my grammar after this but that can wait I must finish out my obstacle course and that’s going to be my focus on my day off tomorrow.
good night ladies, gents, and inbetweeners
much luv
Onto a topic I’ve been discussing with me myself and a piece of paper and a waste basket of crumpled ones.
So I’ve come up with what I think is a ‘new’ but workable combat system. BUT I’d like to get a second opinion.
My idea is relatively simple, I was going to pepper action choices with stat-checks, and keep it simple so each action seen will be divided into three points. Literal points 1 point 2 points ect…
SO the structure would be simple is a fight required strength stamina and agility, the scene would be divided into success and failures ei)
You’re strong enough to lift the car and you throw it! +1
Your enemy catches the car and throws it back but you’re stamina has you tired after throwing the car and you take a hit 0pts
As you dig yourself out of the rubble he closes ground and attack and you’re agile enough to avoid the beast +1
so 2 out of three and you get the success scene with a choice of how you beat down your enemy or if you fail your enemy gets away and you failed.
These combined action scenes would fall under one choice but all your stat choices from before would dictate how well it went.
OR
I could just go with a less complex and easier system of single stat checks ei) one choice for strength or one choice for speed etc…
feel free to air other ideas but these are the most workable in my mind but I’ll admit I haven’t thought of all the angles.
