@MaraJade I’m not bothered by anything you were saying with your previous couple posts. It’s just they didn’t leave me any where to go.
To give you an idea of where I’m going with this CoG, let me ask this: Have you ever watched a spaghetti western movie, or read some of the classic old western books? They’re essentially what I’m attempting to mirror with this CoG, and perhaps because you don’t care for westerns you may not see what I’m driving at here as a result. Because in those stories it’s not made clear from the onset what the protagonist is seeking vengeance for. For example, my favorite western movie of all time is “Once Upon a Time in the West”, where the main hero is played by Charles Bronson, and it’s clear he’s out to deliver some kind of retribution against the villain played by Henry Fonda. But the hero’s reasoning for why is never revealed until the very end of the movie. The western CoG “Tin Star” that you like, you don’t learn about the greater agenda going on within it’s plot, or the exacting situation that occurred for your character to be hung until when? Toward the end of the game. All you know from the beginning is your character one way or another winds up in a crappy situation that leads them to be about to be hung, but a Marshal spares your life and deputizes you. And then boom, you’re off, and you don’t learn the greater fruition as to why for that–and the agenda driving it until–again–toward the end.
Westerns, especially most of the classic spaghetti westerns done by Sergio Leone, you’re seldom informed of what’s going on or why the main protagonist is doing what they’re doing right from the get go. First it establishes the setting, then it may hint or imply what the protagonist is seeking. A better understanding for why will typically come along some where around the middle of the movie as the protagonist gets to know and perhaps even befriend those around them. And then toward the end does it all become clear what’s actually going on with protagonist.
Now, I’m not going to draw out things that long, but the gradual pacing narrative motif that westerns tend to have, I most certainly am going to hold to.
But again, you seem to be expecting everything dealt out at once within what’s actually just the laying out the setting phase of the CoG. Why it’s still in the setting phase is because again, where most of the narrative is going to be taking place is in the town of Vale, and the story isn’t even there yet. Again, you’re legit like at page 5 of chapter 1 in a book when you got another 10 pages to go before that chapter by itself is finished with 30 more chapters to go, and you’re expecting damn near everything to already have been utterly laid out before you. Slow down there, it’ll come in time, just let things play out first.
And the reason why I was suggesting to read the previous criticisms that have been made is to actually become part of a discussion that was already in the process. Such as, looking to see if the criticism you have to say has already been said and if so, what can you add to it, rather than just saying something like “I don’t like this” and just leaving it at that which leaves an author really no where to go. An example would be, two people are looking at a car, but it has busted engine block, they see it, and start discussing about how to fix it. Then another person comes along, looks at the car, ignores the ongoing conversation, then he turns to them and tells them that the engine block is broke and he doesn’t like it. Now, what has the new arrival added to that conversation, and how do you think the two are going to perceive that new arrival? My point wasn’t about “investigating others’ opinions” it was about seeing what can be added to the greater conversation for what has already been acknowledged to be an issue and how to fix it, because that’s what constructive criticism is.
I wasn’t ever offended by anything you said. It’s just I see “criticisms” on this site from time to time that really just amount to “I don’t like this. And this part sucks here. I think that’s needless.”, and then boom, they walk away from it. That’s not real criticism. I work at HP as a graphic artist, and when we’re spitting balling ideas for things like posters to advertise our new printers or monitors, we come out with several lay outs that we look at as a team, and while we point at what we don’t like, we follow up with what can be incorporated into it or give a suggestion to make it work or make it better. My boss even goes so far as when someone within our group is just standing on the side lines and essentially just saying “I don’t like this. Or that. That sucks. I don’t like that.” in so many words, then he either removes them from the project entirely, or has myself or one of the other senior graphic artists fire them; because they’re not actually contributing to anything. We call folks like that “movie critics”, because who is the most worthless person to the movie making process? The movie critic, because all they do is just sit on the sidelines after all the hard work and labor the movie has been done and completed, and typically just shit on it all and everyone involved in it and then think themselves genius insights of cinema; hence they’re the most worthless one to the movie making process. Just like the graphic artists who make it onto the team I’m apart of at work, who just stand there pointing out what they don’t like and never offering anything as to how to fix it or make it better and so on.
That’s why with your first couple of criticisms that you posted, they were telling only what you don’t like. Well, okay, but what do I do with that information? It doesn’t point me in any direction, all it tells me is you think I should get rid of what I have, but doing that only takes me backwards to square one and not how to keep the creative process going. That’s why what I was trying to get out of you was some constructive criticism. If you don’t like the intro for example, then what do you suggest I replace the intro with that still follows the classic western narrative motifs, so I can take what I do have and still keep going with it?
