Some typos
straight for it, when movement drives me to the wall. A guard huh? Okay well one guard I’m sure I can *handl-
“What do mean I could not be determined?” Missing a you
Silence hangs in the air and I wait. The intruder has silenced, but I *now the location and now I allow them to relax, to think I did not sense their movements.
I like the game so far, looking forward for the next part
@Miki Thank you for the feedback!
@jcury Thanks for catching those. I’ll have them fixed when I update with Chapter 3.
Sorry the top link isn’t working here is a new one (also @jcury I fixed those typos in this one) :
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ofcl07twlnl907r/For%20Peace%20We%20Die.html
@TheGlobeh Well in this game the MC wakes up not knowing what is happening or where they are and comes to believe that they have been kidnapped or imprisoned. In the beginning the MC is awoken by pain but has to wake themselves from a deep slumber in their subconscious (the endless ocean scene). The main objective once awake is then to escape the facility and due to the MC not having any memories or knowledge beyond combat they respond to everything with violence.
Of course the objective changes when you decide to stay or leave the Division.
This is looking great, I love your writing style and witty remarks/humour! I don’t think any part of the story was confusing or badly written when I read through this for the first time.
I like how you described the confusion that the MC felt in the beginning, it was so smartly written that I could feel what the MC felt, if that makes sense! More of the same please, keep up the good work!
Okay, how are the vampires vampires? Inhuman masters of illusion who pretend to be human seem more like changelings.
They don’t drink blood, do they eat breath? Eat livers? Drain the life out of people?
Nvm I just noticed top link doesn’t work…great game…MC is a weapon of death :)>-
@TwoSharp Well, when Fenton (was that the name?) led my MC back to the room where he killed the girl, the MC actually joked about it…and I’d planned on playing a compassionate creature xD. Or, if not compassionate, at least one that would’ve kept his mouth shut and, as you said now, been without an opinion. 
Error
Unable to get property ‘crc’ of undefined or null reference
When I run to the woods and meet Mila and go with her to the village and choose just pick a house
Werewolf vs mage…if the wolf can close the distance with its lightning fast speed…the mage won’t have a chance really…unless they outnumber the wolf…but in the MC’s case that won’t work B-)
Wouldn’t the MC be scarier if it was a blend of the races??
@ash10 Thank you for the kind words! I’m glad you like it!
@stsword Ok get ready for a wall of text. This is a history of the Vampires and how they came to be they way they are in my game. This is going to show up on the history page of the Vampire stats so I didn’t think to add more explanation in the story. I may not add all the back grounds of origins by the time I post Chapter three but I will try to do so. Anyway :
In the beginning of recorded history it is said that Vampires walked without magic. They wept as they watched others manipulate the energies and power from within their own bodies, for they could do no such thing. Ancient Vampires lacked the ability to create magic of their own but found they could harvest the energy of others and store the power within themselves. Vampires began simply, trying to satisfy only what they needed to survive, but soon they craved more. Draining, as it is commonly known, the environment gave so little that they were no match for the might of the other races and so they turned to the animals of the land to sustain them. Greater their power became but still it was not enough. Their cravings driving them, the Vampires began to steal the energy of other people. Their bodies changed as their skin grayed and their teeth sharpened. Their power grew and remained as they mastered their craft, but time became their enemy.
As time went on many found themselves lost to the addiction of draining and would meet their demise at it’s call.
So many had perished that most called for an end to draining entirely, saying that it was destroying them and weakening their spirit by giving in to such lust. But others rose up refusing to stop, refusing to abandon what made them.
A war began within the Vampire faction : The War of Withdrawal. The main forces were called the Withdrawn and the Addicted. However a small group of Vampires tried to reason that it was possible to continue draining, with strict discipline and rules, without losing control to addiction. The war almost ended as both sides attempted such a practice only to have failure reignite the war. As casualties rose and the other races watched gleefully for a chance to finish the Vampires for good, the leader of the small group took to the battlefield and killed any who stood against her.
Her name was Keva and she demanded the fighting cease. All obeyed her for unrecorded reasons and she ordered that all individuals may choose a path. To pick whether you only drain what is needed to live or if one indulges to the addiction. However, for addicts they cannot drain freely, only taking with permission and understanding as well as forbidding draining a person to death. Keva stabilized the Vampire faction, and with her small group, reorganized the governing structure of the Vampires so efficiently that it still remains in power. (The basic structure began five Elders (Grand Council) that each governed a city and meet to vote on decisions affecting the race as a whole and then the Queen/King being their enforcer, executioner, and the strongest member among all Vampires. The Queen/King has less political power but can still make important decisions and can always questions the actions of the Grand Council. The Queen/King is not the military leader but when the Grand Council declares War the Queen/King leads the army into battle however they are have independent duties beyond the Council such as dealing with criminals and invaders.)
She was the first Queen of the Vampires and named her small grouped the Marked. Placing a symbol upon the forehead to show the mastery of restraint and power.
Of course, modern Vampires have evolved drastically away from being magic users into physical fighters. However their Illusion skills remain intact thanks to the precious gemstones within the mountains.
At the time, being driven into the mountains seemed a death sentence, but as the Vampires tunneled deeper into the mountains they found stones that held magic. They Vampires covet these stones, keeping them hidden and secure as they use them for draining. Of course the potential for addiction is still present, but most modern Vampires have turned away from draining and only do so when one can hold magic (without risk) or when needed. (Younger Vampires can hold less magic and are more susceptible to over draining, leading to addiction. While older Vampires are stronger both mentally and spiritually to be able to hold more magic without risk.) The addiction has persisted through the generations but now occupies a small amount of the population with most embracing, only as needed, draining of gems.
Over time The Marked have given rise to some of the most powerful Vampires known throughout history, but they (as a group) do not interfere unless they feel their existence or that of Vampires as a whole, is threatened. In the modern world they reside at the base and border of the mountain ranges and offer their unique services to those wishing to tie their spirits to another. They are highly respected even by those outside their race. It is rumored that the most powerful Marked can not only take magic energy but give it as well.
I hope that clarifies.
@ChimeraLord Yeah I think the original complied file accidentally got deleted and I don’t know how to fix it. The MC is definitely intended to be the Division’s weapon, but due to the unexpected awakening you turn out to be more of a double edged blade.
@jcury Darn it, my editor also told me about that one and I thought I fixed it. Thank you for letting me know and I’ll have it fixed with Chapter three.
The link won’t work
“The Humans had a large culling when magic was found appearing in some of them at the loss of the Touch and as far as Humans were concerned Mages were (and still is) a plague.”
Should be “The Humans had a large culling when magic was found appearing in some of them at the loss of the Touch and as far as Humans were concerned Mages were (and still are) a plague.”, because the word Mages in that sentence is plural.
Pretty well written. Excited to see what’s next in store.
@jcsunshine_3 I hope you enjoy it!
@NateTheGreat Thanks for the feedback and I’ll have that fixed when I update with Chapter 3.
Aha thanks I have found it
I think MC should be way tougher…if he is super weapon…he gets tossed around…even if he is weak…he shoulr be able to take on a small army of guards
@JLBH No problem, enjoy!
@ChimeraLord Oh don’t worry the MC will have other chances to show off his/her toughness! But in the beginning not only are you severely weakened but you lack any training in racial abilities. The MC will face much tougher opponents (such as the elite guards of the other factions leaders) later on though.
The original file got deleted but I put up a second link about mid way down.
thx for posting another link