ASDFG// SAME, don’t worry, I’m the same as well. I get embarrassed easily, but take pride in your beautiful work. It’s amazing, as are you are amazing and awesome~ 
2 Likes
Ohohoho update!
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When can we do something that would seem rudimentary level magic to us but on a whole other level for them 
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Aha worry not. MC will be able to be ‘flashy’ in Chapter Two. Of course, doing so will certainly be able to grab the attention of a few individuals, whether that be a good thing or bad. Who cares? There’s nothing wrong with putting on a show, though, MC might not actually be trying to do so, a few individuals who have an affinity with the arcane will be able to notice the difference between themselves and MC.
16 Likes
So far, really liking this. The homunculus idea is an underutilized one imo and I like the idea of raising a strange, adorable homunculus child.
I also like the idea of playing a necromancer. The concept is in surprisingly short supply. You can do it in some games obviously, but few delve into the implications as much as I’d like.
The character customization really stood out to me. Not often you’re literally creating your body, and I like the extra eyes options for eldritch traits. *Insert Bloodborne reference here. *
A couple typos I noticed:
This statement is implying that good things come from things other than legends, rather than that bad things can come from legends.
I feel like we were trying to explain why we killed all those people to get those souls, but we never do.
It’d, not It’ll.
I feel like there’s a missing adjective here.
Unfinished sentence here.
“A new Harbinger would just take over your job.” As it’s written this implies a candidate restriction, not the inevitability of a replacement.
The second underlined sentence directly contradicts the first. I don’t see how one could mean the other.
Pretty early into the story rn, I’ll probably finish up the demo in a day or two.
4 Likes
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read the demo! I’m glad to hear that you’re interested in the story so far and what it has to offer ^^ And ah geez, thank you so much you amazing person, for finding those bugs!!
I’'ll wait for a bit to see if you happen to find more, since you didn’t finish the demo yet to update the fixes. if you do find more, I’ll be sure to upload the file once you’re done so you won’t have to go through the beginning all over again. Again, thank you for finding them!!
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I really wish to know how people are getting onto the LOW-SAN path whilst I’m stuck at 51% on Lunacy!! Teach me your ways!! I wanna take Amarillya’s arm already!
Be reckless in combat in the prologue and don’t go into the light - that should do it 
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Now I see why! Thanks so much!!
I’m back!
Couple of things I found:
“That’re”, not “that’s”.
*breath
*Out of.
Why is the computer referring to her as “scientist”? Is that deliberate? Usually it’s “Doctor”.
Separate sentences.
*of asking.
This one’s a bit odd. Imo, That bit at the start doesn’t really sound like something someone would say. Maybe something like “I can tell you”. I’d also remove “of individuals” and maybe “certainly”. Sounds more natural that way I think.
No comma.
*Uncommon.
I think it should be “she mumbles to herself, pouting and crossing her arms.” Also, there’s a stray " at the end I forgot to underline.
*it’s
*Same issue. Is “magic” intended to be plural? It’s a singular noun. I get the feeling it’s supposed to indicate multiple beings.
*You
*now
*“Whether” or “no matter” would work better here.
*him
I’d swap “fine” with “ok” in this context. Grammatically it’s fine as is, but it sounds more natural with “ok”.
Also, I love how one of the options as the demon being summoned is to basically say “my God, these people are DUMB!”
In the first bit, it’d actually still be the same sentence after the quotes. I can’t remember what I needed the second mark for.
Maybe combine these with “but”.
*earlier.
*Child’s
Lunging.
*in
*Automatons, or automata if you want to be fancy.
“Rip and tear, until it is done.”
*No capital for the s.
I actually have a rationale for sparing the few remaining guards at the last second after taking the time to unleash the zombies on them. If I’m interoperating things correctly, our actions are supposed to teach people about the negative consequences of their actions (maybe I should name a character Chara). If I kill ALL of them, nobody’s left to learn. Anyone who finds the dead won’t have proper context. Now the survivors an tell them “fuck around and find out”.
I mean… I already killed a good deal of them.
That’s all I have for today.
5 Likes
ASDFgHJkL// Again, thank you so much for finding the bugs!! I’ll be sure to fix them!
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How old is mc is he like billions years old
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MC is very old. I can’t get into it, as it gets into spoilers so I will say is that MC is just a very old individual who is tired of babysitting mortals.
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I really enjoyed this demo :3 I’m very happy about recent WIPs that let you play an overpowered morally ambiguous (? or less so) monster (for once!). Let me be the monologuing drama queen for once.
That a lawful good paladin is an RO is icing on the cake, I’m afraid paladins susceptible to falling are on my list of favorite themes. I see this WIP will be kind to my need for high stakes and world-shattering angst.
Do you have plans to make a Patreon?
7 Likes
Aha, I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed the demo and the WIP as of its current state! Become the Eldritch Abomination you desire to be~
Slow burns and angst are romances I love the most, and Asol was perfect for the theme. People seem to be 50/50 on Asol, most wanting to fight the man to the death, others who are invested in romancing the tired, Templar and others who are too invested in the man’s tiddies, but you didn’t hear that from me.
It hasn’t quite crossed my mind to make one. If people grow more interested in this WIP and when I get a decent amount of writing in, maybe? I haven’t quite considered it yet. ^^’
19 Likes
Yeah, he is a bit old (not that it matters for me since I’m into women).
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Ok, finally finished playing all my different playthroughs. And I must say I really enjoyed the different changes in every playthrough it was really enjoyable. Especially loved the whole extra bit if our sanity was low, mwahahaha fear me mortals 
. Anyway great job with the update, and take your time and keep up the superb work. 
Now I’m playing again looking for typos and grammar problems if I find more I’ll post em. (Don’t stress to much about the typos and stuff everyone makes small mistakes even the best of us when writing, lol🥰)
Summary
most replace the u
turn to glance down OR remove the turn and replace it with then
opens - just missing the s
looking - just missing the gerund the ing part
Not sure which one you wanted to use but you can pick which is the right one
it differs Or is different
off - just missing the one f
saw - replace the t
and - typo missing the n
for - typo missing the f
Hope these are helpful 
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I’m enjoying this a lot! It’s an extremely interesting concept.
EDIT: Oops, was just too impatient and found out the answer.
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@ChaosBringerXV You beautiful, amazing person, thank you for finding those bugs for me asdfghjkl// and for your lovely words~
@Vitiate Thanks for taking the time to read the demo! I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it and that the concept interests you ^^
6 Likes