I’m currently madly in love with Hayden Winter (Sordwin / Lux) and I usually only romance characters that are strictly male, but when I recently replayed Sordwin I decided to try their route and I’ve quickly become obsessed with them to the point that I don’t even differentiate anymore between myself and my MC like I usually do. The self-insert was strong this time. I saw another user describe how they turned yandere for Hayden, and I can absolutely relate. x_+
tw: abusive relationships / behavior, oversharing
I have known people like them in real life, we all probably have, highly narcissistic, charismatic and downright cruel, and I gotta say, I have never encountered an IF RO that triggered me the way Winter did at first, to the point that I found myself behaving around them in the exact way I had in a real abusive relationship I’d been in a long time ago. For instance, holding back my true thoughts and feelings and tiptoeing around that person in order not to make them upset or angry at me.
Hayden scares me in a way no other villain / antagonist in a choice game has so far, because their abusive nature is so damn realistic and hits so close to home - I don’t fear their cutlass, I’m afraid of their volatile mood swings. It’s not difficult to detach yourself from fictional violence if it’s magical, cartoonish, over the top or simply something you’ve never experienced in real life, but the entire dynamic between Winter and your MC is dysfunctional and unhealthy (if you fall for them) in a way many have actually experienced. And I also think that speaks for @ThomB 's skills as a writer. It’s so much easier to describe the physical carnage and aftermath of a battle of orcs vs. mages than it is to explore the subtle nuances of a complicated relationship like this.
I’m an old fart now and I’ve long since realized that people like Hayden are only fun in fiction and absolutely not in real life, which is also the explanation for why I’m able to enjoy romancing them, with “romancing” being a euphemism for getting stepped on, of course. I even enjoy playing very submissive MCs and have learned to embrace this part of me that still feels drawn to characters like this. It’s easier to accept it and explore it in a safe environment like a piece of IF, than to repress it or feel guilty about it - as long as there’s a chance to opt-out at any given time (which unfortunately not all choice games provide) if things get too uncomfortable.
Another thing I love about Hayden is how them being nonbinary / genderfluid is actually canonically explained with them being a changeling. It gives this aspect of them a depth and dimension many nonbinary characters lack. I often have a feeling when I encounter nonbinary ROs that they’re an afterthought or only there for the sake of filling some quota, because the (binary & cis) author was scared to death of offending or writing about something they can’t relate to or know nothing about from personal experience. That’s quite a shame, because “nonbinary” is such a giant umbrella term and being nonbinary comes in so many interesting flavors and ways to express it; it’s very refreshing to have a nonbinary character that is more than just a vaguely described androgynous person, and it’s even more refreshing to have the characters in the story actually acknowledge the fact that they’re outside the binary (and even confusing to some).
TL;DR: Hayden Winter is hot af. 
Du bist das Schiff, ich der Kapitän
You are the ship, I’m the captain
Wohin soll denn die Reise geh’n?
Where should this journey go?
Ich seh im Spiegel dein Gesicht
I see your face in the mirror
Du liebst mich, denn ich lieb’ dich nicht
You love me, because I don’t love you
Rammstein - “Ich tu’ dir weh”
