Fallen Hero - Update 18 December 2016

Hosted Games Works In Progress
1398

I have very general descriptions, because I like people to form their own image. I describe personality more than bodies.

“I can’t believe it! It really is you. You’re alive!” The ${Ortega_gender} is oddly familiar, but you were always better with mental impressions than faces, and this ${Ortega_gender} is blank. A blank slate in the form of a tall Hispanic ${Ortega_gender} in ${his} forties, with a determined jaw and a broad grin plastered on the deeply tanned face.
*if (ortega_gender = “man”)
The trimmed mustache is new, but as soon as you pick up the low level static hum, you remember.
*goto ortega
*else
The hair is shorter than the long, black braid you remember, but as soon as you pick up the low level static hum, you remember.

Dr. Mortum bows slightly, rich black skin a stark contrast to the white coat, the orange shirt underneath a bold, neon statement.

Where the good doctor is really from is a matter of heated debate, you have heard everything from Canada to Haiti to New Orleans suggested, but ${mhe} keeps the truth as hidden as ${mhis} real name. What turned ${mhim} down the road of the evil genius you doubt you will ever know; everybody have their stories, of interest to nobody but themselves.

Still, ${mhis} degree is legit and ${mhis} mind is as sound as ${mhis} manners, far better than the French accent you suspect might be an affectation. And, unlike many others in ${mhis} business, ${mhe} showers, dresses smartly and takes you seriously, even though you suspect ${mhe} wants to crawl into bed with you.

8 Likes
1399

Many WIPS I’ve read require much improvement before I’d say it is ready. But yours is vastly different. The story is conflicting and emotional and captures so many thought choices that it astounds me. I look forward to the finished product. Godspeed.

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1400

517×680 65.2 KB

Well, I managed to crank out how I view lady ardent .

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1401

@LazerFarm, you’re tempting me to bring my tablet so i can draw them too :(( [also disclaimer on my very rusty and not very polished art skills BUT I DRAW WITH LOVE SO THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING]

Top of the list is Ortega x MC art if ever :))

6 Likes
1402

Can we get a sneak peek pls? :sweat_smile:

1403

Eh, I say don’t spoil the surprise.

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1404

If you really felt that way then why read the WIP in the first place? It’s not like it’s finished lol. Why ruin the “surprise”?

1405

Lol I meant that malinryden is going to be posting an update soon anyways so why not wait until then to be surprised rather than going in and expecting to see the snippet of a scene posted on here beforehand. Though I guess it could always be blurred out with a forewarned spoiler for people’s preferences.

1406

I agree a teaser couldn’t hurt, but I think Maylin should just let us suffer till the time comes. I won’t push for it, I’ll wait to see Ortega with his teeth kicked in when the update is properly introduced.

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1407

Man I wish I could draw fanart. But alas my camera is broken and my water color pad is missing…

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1408

I’m not a fan-art kind of person, but for at least some of my test runs, this song best fits the ‘inner world’ of the MC

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1409

Secret Identity: Cyrus Becker
Identifies as: Male
Description: An average, asian, man in his thirties with green eyes and short and neat straight black hair.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 55%
Subtle Manipulations: 74%

Power Suit
The suit is utilitarian and nondescript.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores functionally similar to having a disintegration touch, as well as being equipped with enhanced strength and armor.

Physical State
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no major injuries.
Wealth: You are poor.

Infamy
Infamy: 54% Obscurity: 46%
Arrogance: 21% Anonymity: 79%
Ruthlessness: 34% Empathy: 66%
Daring: 30% Cautious: 70%

Main Puppet
Name: Yasmin

Description: A tall, arab, woman in her twenties with brown eyes and long curly auburn hair.

Allies and Enemies
Cyrus’s friendship with Ortega: 72%

Yasmin’s friendship with Ortega: 52%

Dr. Mortum’s romance with Yasmin: 66%

  • Female Ortega, male mercenary (Boris), female Mortum
  • Pulled Lady Argent up from the walkway and took a hair sample from her
  • Armor has telepathy boost and super strength, cape included.
  • Not exactly the kicking puppies villain. Basically learned from the stupid things villains did and tried not to do those things (long monologues, stopping to hurl abuse, excessive risk taking, being a jerk to subordinates/other people, etc.)
  • Middle of the road in ruthlessness (“Well, I don’t want to maximise casualties, but I do want to be efficient…”)
  • Wants to reconnect with Ortega on his own terms. He knows it’s dangerous to keep hanging around her (either as Yasmin or as Cyrus) but he honestly just wants to be friends with her again. Also part of the reason why Yasmin shut down Ortega’s flirting (but still being friends).
  • I did notice some occasional spelling/grammar errors but most of it was just forgetting periods/commas in dialogue.

Love the world building and characters and I’m eager to see what’s going to happen in new updates! :thumbsup:

1 Like
1410

@malinryden Saw you asking about names for the anonymity vs arrogance stat. Decided to post suggestions here, though personally I see what you meant with those names.

Incognito vs Infamy
Anonymity vs Bravado
Arrogance vs Humility

Not perfect but off the top of my head :blush:

3 Likes
1411

@malinryden I’ll make a suggestion as well:

Gloryhound vs Incognito

Hope you find definitions you like and adopt. :heartbeat:

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1412

Thanks, didn’t want to derail that thread :slight_smile:

Currently I have:

Infamy/Obscurity for your supervillain reputation

Arrogance/Anonymity for if you stick your neck out or stay in the shadows.

Ruthlessness/Empathy for how much you value human life and stuff..

Daring/Cautious for your general style of fighting.

I do like bravado/anonymity, that’s an interesting suggestion!

@Eiwynn: Also gloryhound/incognito is nice. Much to ponder here…

4 Likes
1413

I don’t think it is arrogance which needs to change names, because so far the options which have raised arrogance, have been well arrogant, even if the MC might not see it as such. (which is also why I like arrogance better than bravado.)

I do like obscurity instead of anonymity.

1414

Problem is, I am already using Obscurity for your reputation…

1415

Doh. :sweat: (I am way too tired.).

Personally, I still think that the problem (if there is a problem, which I am not sold on) lies with the anonymity part of the name rather than arrogance part, but I am way too tired to think up an alternative. Arrogance works for me right now, because it might not be something your MC aim for (which anything with glory could be.) but still be something they get by indulging in villany and not being careful bout how they behave. I don’t know if I am making any sense.

Honestly, I think your stats work right now. There is a backlash against oppossed stats because they really, really did not work in Empyrean. If I should be worried about some of your stats it is daring/cautiounes, where I could see you run the risk of having some players flip-flop around the middle.

2 Likes
1416

I never thought there was a problem with the arrogance/anonymity, but the very visceral reaction of wtf I got from a person in the other thread made me wonder. It’s not a big issue, it’s an easy fix if I find better terms, I was just wondering if they had been bad all along and nobody else just said anything.

Also, I am not worried about daring/caution, because flipflopping around the middle is an equally valid choice as going high in either direction. It’s three different styles, which will be favorable against different opponents.

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1417

Sitting here writing, and someone had asked for spoilers. Ain’t gonna give you any direct ones, but here is a big one in music form:

[details=Lyrics here]Thank God I was born in a time
When something new was about to start
Been shut down, I’ve been kicked around
Now there’s an A-bomb in my heart
And I know that the times are rough
But I won’t play dead while I’m alive
So hang on and we’ll turn up the sound
Of all the anger in our hearts

'Cause right now under this fevering moon
I wanna take you for a ride
To the reasons you need,
Be it hunger or greed, it’s ok

Tell me a joke and make me smile
Play me the part, be the star for a while
Absolutely no decorum whatsoever, baby

Gimme a wink, let me know you’re alive
Do what you will, we’re only here for a while
Absolutely no decorum whatsoever, baby
Absolutely no decorum whatsoever, baby

And I know that the times are rough
But I won’t play dead while I’m alive
For I long for the shock and the awe
Of speaking plainly from my mind
But I know there’s a place downtown
Where they say there’s a bug-free zone
So let’s go, let’s head out tonight
And let the words in our minds spill out

'Cause right now under this fevering moon
I wanna take you for a ride
To the reasons you need, be it hunger or greed
It’s all and a little bit more as we come alive again

Tell me a joke and make me smile
Play me the part, be the star for a while
Absolutely no decorum whatsoever, baby

Gimme a wink, let me know you’re alive
Do what you will, we’re only here for a while
Absolutely no decorum whatsoever, baby
Absolutely no decorum whatsoever, baby

It’s only ripples in the sand
It’s only ripples in the sand
It’s only ripples in the sand[/details]

5 Likes