Elemental Saga: The Awakening Feedback


#1

So, I’m working on iOS, and I’m running into some issues with the game Elemental Saga: The Awakening. Not game-breaking issues, but issues none the less. It hasn’t crashed, it doesn’t freeze up on me and the story seems good, but there are a lot of grammar issues and word-usage errors. ‘has being a bothersome’ and ‘selected into’ are the ones i’m looking at right now.

Not trying to be ‘that guy’ but I thought I’d bring it up. Anyone else seeing this? Or is this a problem I’m specifically having? If I’m not alone, is this going to get fixed?


#2

yeah I’ve had that same issue for the android version as well


#3

Changed the title to Feedback instead of Issues. Makes it less hostile in nature and more of fair critiques.

Also don’t be afraid to be “that” guy. True, constructive criticism helps authors in improving their writing.


#4

yes actually. Just the other day when I was playing through instead of saying “says” it says “syas” not once but twice. I can’t remember exactly where but it was during the demo when you’re talking to Brandon I believe.


#5

No worries on the name change. Wish I’d thought of it, myself.
I played through some more of it, getting a few more chapters in and the typos keep coming up. Commas are used in strange places, like in the middle of words. When being introduced to the group of friends in the dorm room, the list is basically name,thing they do,name,thing they do,name,… No spaces after the commas in that instance. If this is a coding error, then I wonder if it’ll get fixed, or what might have caused it. (I have no idea how Choicescript works, so I can’t help there.)

I fully realize this is not the kind of feedback asked for in most betas, since i keep seeing those requests asking for coding or overall story critiques rather than grammar or spelling. But it felt like something to bring up. There are also cases wherein words are used that make no sense in the context of the sentence. Specific examples are hard to remember, I hardly take notes on this kind of thing when I’m just playing through and happen to notice them, and several sentences make sense, but they seem a bit over-thought or like a different phrasing could be better used to describe what’s going on.

I’m not entirely certain how to critique this without bringing up the previously noted points, nor how to sound polite about them given the lack of tone and depth that limits a text-based communication, but I will say that so far the story is good. It’s got some cool visual descriptions and an interesting idea behind it, but the previous points are making it very difficult for me to enjoy the whole experience.


#6

I have to agree here, I just started playing the game via the site and the improper grammatical structure and word usage is jarring. I can’t immerse myself into the story because there’s no flow to it. I understand typos will happen, there will be some issues with grammar, but to this degree it’s detracting from the story. I’m having to force myself to keep reading hoping it will interest me enough to ignore it, but that’s not happening so far.

People on the forums and elsewhere on the internet are usually more than willing to give feedback, probably couldn’t expect someone to give a full-editing pass to this without being paid, however, the author likely could have at least sought some help with it. So they’d know what to look for and possibly be able to fix a number of the issues themselves after having others point out a few of them to them.


#7

Yep, I noticed this and it really brought me out of the story. I couldn’t even get past the first few pages.

Pretty disappointing-- I’ve been looking forward to all the new releases.


#8

The English is sufficiently broken that I didn’t get more than a few pages into the demo. I won’t be buying it.


#9

Not only it has grammatical mistakes, it is also very buggy, for example:

At the fight at the Dr. Miller’s press conference, my element was Electricity, while training with Ellie it turns to Earth.

Where should I report them, should I create a thread, if so, then in which category; if not, then where should I report them?
EDIT: Okay so I forgot to mention that I have all the stats, including the relationships at 85.


How I got them you ask, the answer is pretty obvious. Sorry for me bumping up this thread due to me being an idiot. lol


#10

I played the game and I probably would have been annoyed if the price point for these games isn’t quite low. The game is disjointed, the writing quality is fairly poor and the story doesn’t make a great deal of sense. I didn’t bother to play all the way through because I became bored several chapters in. This game needed some serious beta testing and re-writing before it should have been released.


#11

I don’t know whether Mandar Deshmukh has a forum account. But one of the things with Hosted Games is that CoG doesn’t provide a proofread or bug fix; that’s on the author. As long as the game passes Quicktest and Randomtest, it can be published.

The result is going to be vastly greater quality difference between HGs than between official CoGs. I’d never buy an HG without trying the free demo myself; hopefully any quality issues will become sufficiently clear during the demo.

Many of my favorite ChoiceScript games are HGs (the Infinity Series, Lucid’s games, Tin Star, Zombie Exodus) but some labors of love are better written than others.


#12

I haven’t bought all of the hosted games but probably somewhere in the realm of half of them. I can say rather definitively of the hosted games I have played at this time. This one was by far the worst in terms of quality. Many of the hosted games like Guns of Infinity, Lords of Aswick and Samurai of Hyuga are as good or better than the official choice of games games.

Most of the hosted games appear to have gone through some form of beta testing, it kind of feels like this game wasn’t. Perhaps it should be a requirement.


#13

It is a requirement now, (After some other hosted game turned up with probably even worse grammar than this one.) but there’s still no guarantee that the people trying to get a game published will take the beta test seriously.


#14

I loved it so Much that im so addicted I want a sequel . It was soo Good in fact that if it got one and I could Download my previous file or there was an update with more of the story I would extremely:happy even if the Sequal cost money I would buy it which is something I never do.:joy::sob:


#15

i love the story as well (it just the typos that make me feel uncomfortable–) but beside that, i love the story, and really really need to meet Brandon again :sob: so i would like the idea of the sequel. but i didn’t see the Author (a.k.a @MandarK) around, wish he/she well so they can confirm to us about the possibility of the sequel :grin:


#16

This is absolutely have to get sequel,just look the ending!!!:astonished:(ukh,emoji…)


#17

How do you get the fire element does anyone know?


#18

Hey guys I m talking to official member of this forum, do u have any ways to contact the developer I mean to verify about sequence series … I loved the story and all and I think their are quite less errors in new series, I think he has updated the correction or it can be that I didn’t see them . If u can please verify the details about sequence …


#19

How do I become fire


#20

Is there a sequel to this game? I want to save Suma. Pls answer. :frowning: