Oh my character definitely has Stockholm syndrome. And I’m pretty sure she knows it…
3 Likes
I don’t like Charle’s character either. He kind of lost any real sympathy I could have had towards him since really should have tried practicing a bit of self control considering he knows full well every time he gets a girlfriend the vamps will expect him to bring her over for dinner. If you really cared about someone, why would you take that risk? It makes him seem very self-centred and uncaring. In saying that, although he chose to get involved with the vamps originally, it’s possible he didn’t realise the full implications either (Paul seems like he can be very charming + there’s all these movies and books around that romanticize vampire life) and once he worked out the truth, in his own way he’s just as trapped as you are. (Has the choice of feeding the vamps people or being killed off himself as no longer useful himself. He knows full well that sooner or later they’ll probably kill him, he’s just buying time.) Then again, he’s not a nice person, so maybe he did originally feel that feeding people to the vamps was a suitable exchange for his cure, wouldn’t surprise me. Regardless, he was put in the position of getting you (someone he doesn’t know) killed by sitting back and letting it happen, or bringing his girlfriend around to be eaten. I’d imagine to him at least the choice would be obvious and I can see why. I might not like him, but I can see why he’s acting the way he is.
7 Likes
It’s funny, as the author I get attached to all of my characters, even Charles. So I’m glad that even though you don’t like him, you understand where he’s coming from.
I think the thing to keep in mind is that Charles’s association with Paul has quite literally driven him insane. And it’s easy to get sucked in; Paul is charming. If the MC doesn’t stand her ground, she’s liable to fall into the same trap.
6 Likes
Hey @Noah you’re absolutely right. In this last release, I was experimenting with the idea of having a Xanax penalty, which would deduct three times the number of pills taken in the previous chapter from the running total.
And now that you’ve said something, I realize how clunky and confusing that would be to the reader 
Thanks so much for the feedback. I’ll update the initialization routine later today. Sorry for any inconvenience!
1 Like
My pleasure
I am looking forward to the rest
1 Like
Somthing I remember
When the mc is looking for a victim with paul, a guy named Dinner appears he never introduces himself, how does the mc know his name?
1 Like
Dinner isn’t his name, just how the MC is mentally thinking of him since they are targeting him as vampire food.
2 Likes
@Noah, @bobsmyuncle is correct. When you’re flirting with Paul’s potential victim, he’s called Dinner because that’s what he’s about to become 
Ah thank you, he can actually become a dinner?
I failed at that
1 Like
@Noah You didn’t fail! 
I’m not explaining it very well.
I idea is that while you’re hunting with Paul, you view potential victims as food instead of human beings (much like a vampire would see them). And the young man you flirt with is about to become Paul’s dinner until you either change your mind or have a panic attack.
To be clear, though, you can’t snag a kill for Paul in this chapter (sorry!). It would derail the arc of the story if you started hunting this early on. But it does give the reader some insight into what being Paul’s familiar would be like if that’s the ending you eventually choose.
Thanks for reading! And reach out if you have any more questions 
1 Like
Welp, there is probably something very wrong with me bcoz i think i wanna smooch paul. He barely reacted to me kissing his cheek tho. clutches heart ah the woes of not being able to romance a psychopath. 
anywaaaay, i love this and you, @Elena_H so much. The writing is super good, not too serious and not too lighthearted either. You see I have this shameful thing i do like when the writing is too serious i kinda just gloss over the wall of text and essentially not read everything unless i get another choice of reactions to pick. And if it’s too lighthearted, I just think that ugh christ this author is trying too much and now it’s kinda too trashy to enjoy I knooow, I’m horrible. You got the perfect mix tho. I really respect authors who can grip my attention all throughout the story bcoz i got a really short attention span and my tastes are probably too…specific? idk. that’s not important, the point issss, i love this so so much. I love how you make me happy about this newfound friendship? where they kinda show that u matter to them even just a tiny bit and then crush me when they casually tell me that their going to kill me. hahaha it’s pure torture and extremely unhealthy but i find myself genuinely wanting to be their friend. I wonder why paul got jealous (or was he?) when he saw me and rich in the laundry room tho. Ah, i hate how u make me think omg this is kinda romantic, but then you’ve been pretty clear about the no romance thing so i just give myself a pep talk about how i shouldnt hope for non existent things. OH! another thing that i liked was the protag herself. idk. I loved how she reacted to everything and she makes me laugh. Also, i loved that part where u can try to convince rich to go out with paul to eat. The one where u botch the whole hunting escapade. Successfully convincing rich in front of paul was so satisfying. I was like yas bitch. I’m totes super likable to u both. U both my bitches now. Eat it, paul. Gosh, I’m so stoked for this, I’m going add this to my " works to stalk list" 
4 Likes
@Elsee OMG I think I love you too! 
And would you believe I have the same habit of glossing over serious/light writing? Except in my case, I usually skim until I hit dialog. 
So bad.
Not at all! Paul’s supposed to be charming; that’s what makes him so dangerous.
Paul is jealous, btw. If anyone kills the MC, he thinks it should be him…
Thank you so much for reading, and brightening up what would’ve otherwise been a really crummy afternoon at work!
9 Likes
Paul’s jealous over that?
what? why? i dont get psychopathic thought processes…actually, that’s probably a good thing 
Oh! it’s my pleasure, i like encouraging and giving support to writers that i like. nyehehe It makes me happy that they respond to me, it’s like a celebrity just talked to me! OMG! and then i roll around in bed with a big goofy grin. sorry that was probably TMI. 
4 Likes
Look on the bright side; at least it’s Paul, whom as @Elena_H just said is very charming, and not Rich…
A TMI moment, brought to you by me:
One of the things I like about her is how similar yet different she is from me. I never noticed before, but I suffer from Agoraphobia too. Not as extremely as Lenore does, but it’s still there. Before I read this WiP, I thought I was just antisocial, but after reading this I realized a lot of how Lenore feels when she’s out in public is how I feel. I also suffer from anxiety (again, not as strongly as Lenore), that one I was actually diagnosed with. However, one of the biggest differences between Lenore and I are how we each deal with our “issues”; She uses Xanax while I use video games, books, tv and music. The music I usually use when I’m out and about. I usually pull out my noise cancelling head phones, attach it to my phone, hit play on my music and blast it as loud as it can go! It usually helps calm me down and distract me from those around me. Another thing I used to use (but can’t use anymore since I don’t really have any since I moved to where I am now) are my friends. I may sound like a manipulative bitch for saying that, but they usually helped me with my anxiety. Unfortunately, they also caused my anxiety to… It’s a bit complicated to explain.
3 Likes
As my vampires are asexual, the only physical “connection” they experience with other human beings is during a kill. Paul would definitely be jealous if Richard got to experience this with you (someone he likes) and he did not. Because Richard, in Paul’s opinion, doesn’t care about you the way he does.
You are too sweet! And I have to tell you… Being on the other side of this (and I’ve known a LOT of writers), we’re the ones excited to hear from you.
8 Likes
LOL Rich might not be as charming, but I can definitely see why you like him. I tend to gravitate toward the less charismatic (brutally honest) types myself 
Wow. Thank you for sharing that. 
Although I don’t suffer from true agoraphobia, I do suffer from all of the anxieties of the protagonist, which I think (hope?) are normal to a degree. The best thing I ever did to combat social anxiety when I was younger, btw, was moonlighting as a bartender (which also inspired the first chapter of the book).
1 Like
FYI, I’ve posted a minor update:
- A few various typo fixes.
- QuickStart links now use #chapter hashtag for navigation.
- Achievements! These should work, but please let me know if anything seems amiss.
- In case anyone missed it, I’ve gotten rid of the “Xanax Penalty” experiment. Sorry 'bout that…
Chapter 8 is going to be a couple more weeks (lots of new writing), so this is probably the last update until then. With that said, reach out if you run into a bug, spot any egregious grammar/spelling errors, etc.
Thanks
–Elena
7 Likes
oh, the TMI ensues dont read if u dont want a sob story.
bcoz…idk how to blur stuff nyehe 
actually…i feel the same, just not that strongly? idk. I’ve never been to a psychologist before but yea, i feel the same things too. Video games are my #1 coping mechansim as well as IFs. I just hate looking weak so i tough it out but ya know, it always slips through. I sooo get the whole friend thing. It’s like one minute they really feel like someone u can turn to then, out of nowhere they stab u in the back by being insensitive and u get embarrassed in front of everyone or they dish out insensitive jokes straight to your face. Its a thing we gotta deal with that probably wont ever go away. This is probably harsh but, I’ve hardened myself to people. I know they’re twisted and cruel underneath all the kindness, some of it is always spills out. Even from myself. When that happens, i just shrug it off coz i was expecting it. That’s how i face the world and protect myself. You should probably try doing this too? or idk, works for me, maybe not so much for other people bcoz we do have different coping techniques. Just remember that you’re not alone and we’ll all continue battling through this! 
2 Likes
ohhhh okay, that makes sense
well…now that i think about it, i would be pretty excited to get feedback, if i was a writer too…but most of you react so…professionally? or ya know, all cool and not bothered? haha i dunno how to explain it. im just a verrrry vocal person when i talk about something i like so i flail around and have this huge grin and say the weirdest (or sweetest for u) things and then i get so scared that I’ll look weird and too much so its such a relief to be replied to hahaha god, anxiety is a bitch
2 Likes