Choice of Rebels: Stormwright (XoR2 WIP)

@Havenstone How will Laconniers react to the murder of Horion by the player?

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I’m one of those idealistic readers that prefer to read most scenes in my main play as I’m sure my past complaints about talking and learning about walls/thaumatarch/ counsil scene with cerlota being limited to 3question is lacking and, the paths in irduin be 2 from main 6 and then again in those choosing which person to get know are very limiting and extreme re-reading that there isn’t need for.

I’m in for different paths leading special scenes but not extremely as it not only just results in years rereading but years writing their consequences in later books and as results, more wait for continuation of my main playthrough. If then I want to go for all possible paths for all books when can we live our daily lives? And that’s harder for you as writer too, to both write code and scenarios in this much detailed and different paths that could have been better wrapped is both exhausting and time consuming.

I remember you were obsessive about pace when I did suggestions before but I feel the pace is more disrupted if there is a scene that for example you could ask a lot of relevant questions and you have them just there as options but you are forced to move on from most of them even as the talk is continuing after that and there’s no immediate event like a need to run or fight to justify the talk being incomplete.

I suggest that for making your game both good paced, comprehensive and still replayable to do this dispensation only to meaningful choices that can change the course of ending and have consequences in which paths you saw in later books ,like in irduin if I go for the irdes the choice to spend time with which child is the biggest impact and that should be like how you have done it already to see one path and that impacts ending majorly and has the best value for re reading, so I think you should focus on re-reading on which person of focus to spend time in this way.

About the game2 Exept my pervious critiques, I love IT. It introduced more of the detailed and fantastic world you built, as you said yourself, it let me to get understand the lower order and it’s problems and the path for my future order( I will maintain the main centralized order with some freedom for adaptation in rural areas like irduin) thanks for the latest snippet.

As most comments said the rim management sec will help the overall experience of getting settled but I still think with merging more of the irduin focus groups is a solution. (as I previously suggested making maurs and Tamaran mandatory and the choices be between other major groups would really help both as a pace and as a feeling of having slower story.)

As story it’s the needed prequel to what we would see in a metropolis like grand shayard and it would help to consider next steps both immediately in book 3 that we go to capital and later when we are organizing our new order. Specifically in economy and tax plans. So no issues there for me.

I should say what exited me most was the chance to read the original codex and the chance to make the bridge between theurges and eclesiasts more as I’m playing with religion my 1st focus and the reason I uprised at G1 start. I ALSO hope the ecclesiast path later would be in par with Vigil cause I really consider changing my first choice for my main playthrough only to see vigil and have a chance to counter it later by knowledge that we got in xaos land chapter in this game.

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Let’s go ahead and drop a snippet, as I work toward this month’s promised ready-or-not update.

Rampion the jongler comes to Irduin

With the manor guard and Alastors all guarding the roads against potential assassins, it’s an unusually poor moment for an unknown jongler to arrive in Irduin. You’re in the Chesnery courtyard when the traveling singer is brought in, hands bound behind his back, to be interrogated by Captain Korren.

By the time he emerges from the inn’s back room, word has spread; half the villagers have left their usual winter work, milling about to see the stranger. Though he’s still being closely escorted by Alastors, the lean, unkempt-looking jongler breaks into a toothy grin. “Behold, an audience!” He sweeps into a florid bow. "My name is Rampion–and once our protectors are duly assured that I am in no wise an enemy of the House, I shall have some news and songs and tales to share.

The Chevalier of Briguert; fresh prodigies of Theurgy on the Eastern front; monstrous Abhumans and conniving Erretsins and savage Halassurqs. Perhaps even a tale of the Great-Eel Maniode, Terror of Darle! Bring yourselves back here at dusk to know all!”

In the Chesnery kitchens, you catch Korren explaining somewhat dubiously to Maurs: “Says he’s moving through the backcountry, off the main highways. He’s just come from the hill country of Couvis–and he could describe the villages I’ve seen there, so it might be true. On his way to the Hethe.”

“An honest jongler might choose that path,” Maurs observes. “Expecting more generosity from the places that get fewer visitors.”

“He might. He’s sure to find fewer Alastors. And once in the Hethe, likely to find rebels.” Korren tugs pensively at his beard. “Have your folk keep an eye on him tonight, will you?” His eyes flickering to you, he @{(ird_sus < ird_sus_med) adds, “That includes you, ${alias}. Tell me if you see or hear aught that’s suspicious.”|falls silent and strides off.}

Having been questioned by the lady kuria at the manor, Rampion returns to the Chesnery caskroom in the mid-afternoon. He regards the place with the relaxed, dispassionate expression of a man who’s performed in a thousand such @{intronat inns; you think you recognize something of Carles in that look|inns}. At last his gaze lands on you.
*if sralibi = 5
“Ah, good${woman} ${ird_name}, is it? I hear you’re my hearth-fellow and competition here.”
*fake_choice
#“Hardly competition for a real jongler, kurios.”
Rampion waves away your modesty.
#“I recite and sing, but I reckon there’s an audience here for us both.”
“In so small a place?” Rampion raises an eyebrow.
#“I don’t know.” I offer him him a smile. “Are you good enough to be competition for me?”
Rampion laughs sharply.
“Let’s hear what you can do. Do you know ‘The Ill-Wrought Harp’?”

@{bre You glance at Breden, who shakes ${xhis} head; neither of you has ever|You’ve never} heard of the song. “That one hadn’t worked its way to the Rim by the time @{bre we|I} left, kurios.”

There’s more than a hint of smugness in the quirk of his lips. “Never mind. Best not to confuse folk with something that just hasn’t reached them yet. ‘To Shayard in the Spring,’ then!”

No one could deny that the man’s an extraordinary performer, rich-voiced and expressive, and when he draws a lyre from his carrysack, you’re unsurprised to find him just as fluent an instrumentalist. @{(cha > 2) But you keep up with him in pace and passion, drawing a fierce smile out of him by the end. “Competition indeed!”|You’re no match for him, but acquit yourself well enough to get an approving, “In a few years’ time, you’ll be competition indeed.”}

*if cha > 1
There’s the faintest tinge of something in the jongler’s voice…some double meaning you don’t understand. You keep your own face free of anything more than a bland smile, and after exchanging a few more words, he heads off to find the Innkeeps.

That evening, Rampion’s charm draws more than deafening applause out of the crowd of Irduines. Between songs, he’s immersing himself in the gossip of the village, drawing stories from yeoman and merchant and @{(alaala > 1) Alastor|helot} alike. You keep one ear on him, with increasing unease as the night rolls on. The conversation shifts whenever you come close enough to hear–deftly redirected by the beaming minstrel–but you catch enough fragments to recognize the pattern.

He’s finding out about you.
*if not(alone)
You and your @{(cerl_here and gam) friends|friend}; but mostly you.
*fake_choice
#$!{oath}. It’s all I can do not to start running now.
#Panic turns quickly to rage, with me. @{(violence > 2) If no one else were here, I’d|I’m seized by the urge to} snap the man’s neck.
#My mind races through all the possible explanations–none of them good, most of them nightmarishly bad.
But you don’t show it. You laugh, and pretend to drink more than you truly are, and
*if bre
meet Breden’s eyes for just long enough to confirm that ${xhe}'s noticed it, too. The two of you
*if alone
exchange the briefest of words with Captain Korren. Then you
head back to your stable loft well after midnight.

*if not(alone) and not(bre)
It would be unwise to warn @{cerl_here Cerlota|} @{(cerl_here and gam) and|} @{gam ${gamgee}|} aloud, in this thin-walled space. You do it with @{((me_lit = 0) or kal) signs|a quickly scratched note}, instead. Then you lie down, skin acreep with fear, and try to keep your breathing low and even.

Hours pass with only the groans and rustles of the Chesnery Oak reaching your ears. With no chance of sleep, you keep your eyes squeezed shut, wielding all your attention to overhear the squeak of a floorboard or a footfall on the stair. But when the odd sound finally comes, it’s a faint scrape overhead, between you and the window. Your eyes snap open.

There’s a silhouette hovering at roof level, above the poplar-slat divider that separates your bedspace from the next. For a moment you think you must have fallen asleep despite everything, because the man’s movements are unreal: smooth, weightless, reaching out limb by limb to crawl spiderlike along the ceiling.

Then he cranes his neck around to look at you, and there’s enough moonlight for you to see more than just a shadow. Compared to your memories of the evening, he’s barely recognizable: head and face shaved egg-smooth, dressed in tight black shirt and leggings with no entangling folds or loops of cloth, and nothing that even hints of a smile in his mouth or eyes. But it’s clearly Rampion–and he can clearly see that you’re awake, and watching him.

It follows from convincing either Bernete or Eyon that there’s a Kryptast in Irduin.

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Damn, I suppose that’s the end of my “Kryptasts aren’t even real” theory. Is this after assassinating Ueron? Makes sense that they’d send a troubleshooter down.

Could you theurgically speed up the growth of hair? Neat trick to discard and regrow your hair as needed if so, hadn’t thought of that at all.

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Heyaaaa. Well, just finished the game and wanted to say, what a great story. Thanks author, for doing a sequel as great as the first game (and this isn’t even the final version).

I had a suggestion in mind for some choices regarding the rebellion. As a Brazilian, the dictatorship we had in here a few decades ago was (and is) a great (even if horrible and unfortunate) part of our culture and history. So, yesterday, listening to some songs from that time, I had the realization that maybe we could, in the game, spread the rebellion by songs or poems, using the double meaning and wordplay to create a poem that talks trash about the hegemony or even inspires people to rebel too, like the singers here in Brazil did. I think art is a real tool to use in political movements like this one, so even some paintings with double meanings could be good too.

Oh, and it’s just a suggestion after all, so don’t feel pressured to put it into the game or something. Those are just some ideas and if you don’t feel they fit in the game for a reason or another, it’s completely fine.

Again, thanks for the incredible game :upside_down_face:

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I’m very excited for the ready-or-not Xthonmas in July update. I wonder if we’re now at a point where it’s approximately real-time between when we last left off in Irduin and when the next toppling domino falls when we pick up again.

Regarding Rampion the jongler, it is funny that he’s taken the name Rampion, which is to say Rapunzel, given the state of his hair. And his movements, “unreal: smooth, weightless, reaching out limb by limb to crawl spiderlike along the ceiling” remind me of the Xaos-reiver “spiders”, as Ciels called them, who could scale cliff-faces with a Storm-change.

And this is great as the latest edition of Rebel or Spy, a full circle moment that this is what a wandering stranger arriving in town probing into your secrets looks like from the other side. All that’s missing is Rampion sneaking up on us in the middle of a romantic tryst.

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I never thought I would be this exhilarated from a Choicescript game, but when I tell you how big my smile was when I got to the end of that scene…it’s just stupidly funny imagining my MC looking out the window and seeing that. And I guess it’s also a big payoff after being a reader since 2020 and hearing so much about Kryptasts. Guess we’ll find out if they know Theurgy as well when she tries to float him off the roof

edit: also, what happened to Cerlota detecting Kryptasts before they strike? She’s now 0-1 for the season

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Well, one of prologues in Game 1 is essentialy about that :stuck_out_tongue:

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TBH to an extent I wonder if it might not be better to put such a thematically good (and, if what I imagine a kryptast fight to look like is in any way true, badass) scene on more accessible routing than just the Bernie subplot. AFAIK not many people are choosing that one, though this will probably incentivize it more.

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@Havenstone Can I ask about what were your thoughts beyond some Wiendish location names? I mean Marausz, Siszula and Alsztyn.
If they’re random words to sound slavic-like then I’d like to ask you to reconsider the name of Alsztyn town, as its German in nature and probably a word salad of Olsztyn - polonised name of city Allenstein (which referred to a river Alna, which is in Baltic-Prussian, so its an another bag of things). So the city was German first, thus German name, and later its name was polonised when it ended up in Poland - therefore it doesnt really make sense to name Wiendish city like that, unless, I don’t know, Alsztyn was initially a place of quite germanic proto-Shayardene :stuck_out_tongue:

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@LilPaixao, so glad you’re enjoying the games. :slight_smile: Rebellion by songs, poems, and other artforms will absolutely be a strategic option – though probably from next game, so as not to overcomplicate the rebellion management sections I still have to finish for this one.

:slight_smile: That’s awesome. Thanks so much for sharing how it hit you.

And Cerlota’s Kryptast-detecting powers are somewhat hampered by her hiding out in the stable loft after the near miss with Seichareis. Her Kryptast-disposal powers are in rather better shape. Today’s microsnippet:

She steps daintily around the viscera on the floor.

Maybe. I’ll see how it feels when the whole thing is out there. The Seichareis fight is going to be playable by everybody,[1] and the Bernete thread needs a good bang to go out on.

Absolutely. My main goal with Wiendish names – people as well as places – is to look like they’re riffs on multiple languages of a real-world region, rather than plausibly fitting one real-world language. The primary worldbuilding feature of Wiendrj is its high degree of internal diversity; like many real-world mountain regions, its flora, fauna, cultures, and dialects all evolved differently valley by valley, and pre-Hegemony, it was never under unified political rule long enough for one culture or language to dominate the whole space. While Wiendish (i.e. the language of Wiendwic) has made significant strides thanks to the shape of the post-Hegemonic indigenous military hierarchy, it’s most Wiends’ third language, after their home tongue and the Hegemony’s Koine.

So not all names should sound like fantasy riffs on West Slavic phonemes. For some parts of Wiendrj I’m extrapolating from South Slavic reference points instead; and some parts I just want to sound a little weird, mirroring the way that Wiends start sounding weird to each other when you travel a few valleys over. When the MC actually visits the province, if you go deep enough, I plan to work in some Albanian-inspired corners.

All of which means that having a few names that sound Germanesque to those in the know isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I can’t pretend it was an intentional historical reference to Allenstein; I honestly don’t remember the process of coming up with Alsztyn, but I’m not above a little light letter-flipping on a world map, so your guess could well be right. :slight_smile: But it’s part of greater Stezyc/Steswick, so would be consistent with a history in which the trading center the Shayardenes called Aldstone was renamed when it fell under permanent Wiendish rule.

How does all of that sound to you?


  1. …who hasn’t already had to flee Irduin because of earlier choices. ↩︎

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Makes sense, even if all these names still sound a bit jarring :stuck_out_tongue:

I do have another, unrelated question though - will it still be possible to unite Shayard if you pursue kenosis?

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@Havenstone If I may inquire, how populous is Irduin? What is roughly the class breakdown of it’s residents? How accurately would our MC know this after a bit of time there? Also, semi-relatedly, are the 300-ish that helots that escape with you nearly all helots in rim square?

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Reading this again, will K be able to learn how to read during Stormwright? Seems like a valuable skill for them to learn during the downtime in Sojourn or Irduin (and a bit less variability for you).

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When discussing meta-telos with Cerlota, she states that

There is a meta-telos built into the fabric of time and form: the tendency of things to return to their original nature.

And later in Sojourn, she remarks that

The Apanthropoi are clearly masters at suspending the meta-telos by which a Changed nature returns to its previous balance.

Is there any meta-telos built into time and form other than the tendency of things to return to their original nature?

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There’s a bug in Irduin1 where if you set yourself as having married Breden and don’t take them along as gamgee, the gamgee you’ve got will… well…
image

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Thanks, I’ll try to fix that. :slight_smile:

Just a heads up to everyone…July may be a slightly longer than usual month this year, as I’m spending the week in a place with lots of creative energy but almost no laptop charging or internet access.

The promised update will come, but it might be a few days into August rather than July 31. Apologies in advance if that’s how it turns out!

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Not doing a very good job convincing that you’re not in fae realms! :laughing:

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