Caught in a Reverie (Halloween Edition is finally up)

Question to the author: what’s our creature supposed to be or look like :sweat_smile: ? coz I see it as some sort of “sonic the hedgehog” kinda character personally :sweat_smile: :sweat_smile:.

There are actually 6 different Reverie that you’re able to get in the playtest depending on how you answered all the choices

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Just enought to let the reader disapointed when it’s ending. Thanks for sharing with us your story.

This start make me think of persona 3. That’s a good sign :smiley:

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Um, this seems to be the only one I’m getting in my playthroughs…

A strange mascot seem to have wander into the realm with us. My eyes couldn’t see clearly but it slightly resembled a Fox? Cat? Wolf? It wasn’t clear. It’s fur was a light teal colour, pointed ears with maroon tips. Big cartoonish gloves and shoes. definitely looks like a mascot or some sort.

Try either more aggressive or calm options~ I’ve tried tried it a few more times just now and it seems to be working alright.

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Have you thought any more about switching up the intros for non-straight characters? Or at least removing the heteronormative assumptions (MC thinks Tsubasa is cute; blushes over his female summon’s lack of clothing)? Of course, if Touya really is just straight, then I suppose you don’t really want to get my hopes up before dashing them (which has happened in at least one other WIP, involving a very awkward first, and last, kiss).

I should note that I agree completely that characters should have their own sexualities (I even recently started a thread calling for more characters who were honestly gay, as opposed to just being MC-sexual for convenience). But I do think it’s generally easiest to have the majority of ROs (at least) being bi/pan- or MC-sexual.

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Ok, got those two, I prefer the mascot one TBH

I got up too 4 different reverie

How do i get to say i can do what i like

Also im enjoying this alot

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One thing i found while playing through the female MC route, Touya and his sister keep flipping through male and female pronouns.

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@Terrell_Williams, which ones you get? I got the lady with the pony tail, the mascot Fox, and the 40 year old man

I got the same feeling with this, felt like my character was fawning over Touya when I met him and it honestly threw me off. Outside of that I think its an interesting start and the art is wonderful! :smile:

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I got the same ones u got @moonwalkerdragon

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Yes~ am working on it~ hehehehe trying to ease in a way for a character to choose their sexuality instead of plainly asking their preference. Maybe I could add a question that ask if you find Tsubasa or Touya attractive and that will determine whether your MC is straight.

@moonwalkerdragon

There is a guy with horns, another lady and a hunter with owl mask left :wink:

I just wanted to comment on the flow of the sentences. For example the two questions right after each other. Maybe it would be best to get rid of the ‘and’ after the first question as there is a grammar rule that a question mark is a form of punctuation and a capital letter should follow, and in most cases sentences shouldn’t start with a conjunction.

I don’t know if that would exactly be a better way to do it, and not just because some people will want to say “both” and some “neither”. I mean, even if I don’t find Touya attractive, there may be other guys introduced later that I do. Also, by the time Touya shows up my MC has already indicated attraction to girls (and the same for @Lizzy and guys), so that’s already too late. It may be best to just remove all mention of attraction until the MC is definitely romancing someone.


Nah, the conjunction’s fine here. It should be capitalised, though.

Got it~ >www< thanks for pointing it out, fixed it.

@ParrotWatcher @Lizzy
Hmmmm~ I didn’t meant for the MC to be attracted any of them in the intro, be in Tsubasa or Touya, was plainly emphasizing that they appreciated their appearances. Whether the MC was attracted to either gender, they can still find Tsubasa cute and Touya good-looking.

But from you point of view it didn’t felt that way? D: Maybe I overdone it and didn’t realized myself TwT will revise the chapter again. If I were to completely take out the mention of their attraction, their introduction might end up quite plain and lose the impact that I intended them to have.

I loooove all this review you’re giving me though! Can’t tell you how much I appreciate it >w< thank you

how bout asking MC Ex (boyfriend, or girlfriend, or both) just like others game, and then the first one to make apperance (either Touya or Tsubasa) should be determined by it. :open_mouth:

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Could also do some daydreaming on the train, or notice other passengers

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wow… this is better than my suggestion :thumbsup: it’s subtle enough and didn’t plainly asking MC preference. :grin:

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Found a few gender pronoun typos regarding (girl) Tsubasa when she’s first introduced.