Hey everyone! So I know it’s been a while, but I’m back with an update of 10K more words! This update should have been out about 3 months ago, but life happened. As always I am looking for feed back. More specifically dealing with the story so far and if you’re enjoying it. Is the pacing okay, and is the plot easy to follow.
Also feed back on the character’s Iliana and Victoria. You talk with them quite a bit here, and I’d like to know how people feel about these two. So many things have been tweaked multiple times. Like character’s names, ethnic background, and gender. So please if you find any inconsistencies let me know.
Anyway, thank you all for taking the time to read, my story. And I hope the next update will be out a bit faster!
16 Likes
I loved everything that I just played so far but I just have one question are we going to be like some black ops kill team
1 Like
That’s exactly right! There’s this entire conspiracy I’m planning, dealing with the FBI, CIA, different foreign nations, etc. It’s going to be a huge crazy web of lies and deception. It’s been fun writing it, and thank you for enjoying it!
6 Likes
Will need to play again was a couple days ago when i first noticed the demo in the cog demos site. I can say i believe i noticed the changes from the orgional demo minor as they might be lol
From the older section yet that intial run i found interesting and pacing seemed fine will do another playthrough trying different choices to see if i noticed any differences worth noting.
1 Like
Thank you! Any and all feedback is welcome.
1 Like
Great update, enjoyed the content that was added tho i am confused about the name of the sister of the agent we killed, because isn’t Emmanuel a male name? Did you perhaps ment Emmanuela or some variation of it?
1 Like
lol I actually just had someone in a discord channel mention this. No, I liked the name Emmanuel for her. It fits the type of personality she’ll have. Plus I’ve always liked the concept of female character with a traditionally male name. I almost forgot to say thank you for taking the time to read my work. I really do hope you did enjoy it! And thanks for your feedback!
2 Likes
Enjoyed the update! Looking forward to more!
2 Likes
Man really enjoying this book, hope you don’t abandon it, I also do really like grounded stories like this there’s a lot fantasy books an no more good grounded ones
3 Likes
Life is a bit crazy right now. Finished my degree a few months ago, and got a new job in IT. So I’m not working 12 hours a day on an ambulance anymore. So I will definitely have more time to write now. I don’t want to abandon this story, I started it just for myself. And even if no one is reading it, I still will be and I want to know what happens as well. So its not going anywhere.
Right now I’m working on flow. Got some very awesome feedback in a discord I’m in and this reader tore everything apart. They were great! and made me realize a few things I do too much. So I’m going back to correct a lot of that, and to implement skills.
I’m hoping this will take me a few weeks then I can continue to progress story.
Also, thank you so much for taking the time to read my work. I do appreciate it!
9 Likes
I know you won’t answer but at the end of the book can we just keep working for the cia
The end of this story is a long way out friend lol. I’m still outlining for much of the beginning. But who knows, anything is possible.
2 Likes
can we get a option for a hip holster
Play as a female, and pick the dress. You get a thigh holster, that’s the best I can do lol. Besides concealment of the weapon is what I was ultimately thinking about. Hip holster aren’t very good with concealment, I personally hate them IRL.
6 Likes
One of my favourite games not gonna lie
2 Likes
Should be an option to break the driver’s neck, at least but story is alright so far, a bit railroaded in terms of how the MC acts but not bad.
1 Like
I really appreciate that! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it.
Thank you for your thoughts. Though the MC is a predefined character with a background of their own. They are not a blank slate, I give the reader choices within a scope of what I feel acceptable for what this MC would do. And in turn those choices that are chosen will affect the story and how others react.
I also want to preface that I’m focusing on realism as much as possible. So breaking Stacy’s neck would not be a choice do to the situation the character is in. The MC is not going to be some superhuman able to beat up everyone. Stacy is bigger and stronger than both Male and Female protagonist.
A fist fight with him would be a long and arduous task, and even still it would be a waste of effort for MC to even try. Tell me, why would Victoria continue to work with the MC if they just kill one of her bodyguards? I have to ask questions like this when I decide to give the reader a choice. It has to make sense and be as believable as possible.
There is no option to kill Stacy in that moment, because it would only make MC situation worse. Victoria and her other security would have to react to that decision in a way that has to be believable. In other words they’d have to kill MC or at the very least capture MC and send them back to prison. Game over.
3 Likes
Could at least let me break his arm or leg but Yeah I get it.
2 Likes
