Bloods Melody (WIP)

[Sid0]

@kizzygm

Being kidnapped so easily felt weird especially since the mc father was a highly skilled swordsman and I chose to continue. It would be understandable if the mc was hit with a tranquilizer dart or spell. Idk it just seems weird because I chose to continue my training and work out but was still caught off guard and was choked out so easily.

@Rani

This is an interesting start. But I’m kinda disappointed that we didn’t get the chance to fight back more when we were kidnapped or refuse to comply with the kidnapper.

I mainly made it like that so you will feel more like you grow into a badass later on.

I also think I’ll remove the age choice because I ran into problems with that. For example, I actually had the choice to headbutt him right in the face, but you would be too short if you are 16.

@Rani

Like when they ask you about your specy all I wanted to say was
“None of your problems”
“Eff of” or “A unicorn” with a sarcastic smile.

I didn’t add a choice like “None of your problems” because in reality you would probably not see the next day. But I’ll find a way around that. Thanks for the idea.

@Rani

Also I like revenge story and hope we will be able to also get revenge on the kidnapper.

Of course! It’s not even the full chapter one, it was mostly to meet some characters.

[Rune_Viryle]

Hey there, Just played the demo and the story looks really interesting! I’ve noticed that your writing is a bit specific, I think it’s better to either cut or shorten/rephrase some of the descriptions/sentences and store them for later use if you wish to. I’ve also noticed you used thru instead of through, While it may be easier to use shortened versions the story won’t really be that appealing to read since it really just applies to “A person’s style of texting/Writing to someone” and some other stuff. Although I think some parts were a bit modern and medieval so it confused me for a while, haha. The kidnapping part also seemed as if it was too acted out, Maybe flesh it out with more emphasis or emotion? That’s all I could come up with as of now, So I shall happily wait for the coming scenes!

[Harley_Robin_Evans]

Sounds interesting

[Sid0]

@Rune_Viryle

I’ve also noticed you used thru instead of through,

Yeah yeah, still trying to find all of those.

@Rune_Viryle

I think some parts were a bit modern and medieval so it confused me for a while,

This is set around the 1300s. And yes, I’m aware that calisthenics and bodybuilding was invented in the 1800s, I’m still finding a way around that. If there are more things like that, please let me know.

And thanks for the rest of the feedback as well

[Kingadrian]

I have a question about this game depending on your species will you have like special abilities like as a werewolf when you shift is it a form like the wolves from twilight or the werewolves from underworld?

[Sid0]

@Kingadrian

will you have like special abilities like as a werewolf when you shift is it a form like the wolves from twilight or the werewolves from underworld?

Underworld because then you can kill people with your mouth AND your hands.

[Kingadrian]

So do other species have special abilities like a Phoenix would have control over fire?

[Sid0]

Phoenix - Has control over fire and can’t really die because you’ll be reborn from ashes the next day.

Vampire - Can transform into a bat in the full moon.

Werewolf - Can transform into a wolf.

Angel - Nothing special, but you gain a bonus story to your missing wings.

Demon - Nothing special, but you gain a bonus story to your missing horns.

Elf - Nothing special, but that might change in the future.

Human - Nothing special

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Fun fact: If you’re a human, you will have the chance to become a vampire by getting bitten.

[kizzygm]

Will the vampire and wolf transformations have slightly boosted stats?? And will there options to be a hard hand combat fighter?? Just curious

[Sid0]

Bat gives bonus agility.

Wolf gives bonus strength.