How did Sadie die? Did I miss it or was it not mentioned at all?
First of all the demo seems cool as hell, but I have to say that on some choices I felt confused or unsure as to what this choice will mean to the MC, exactly what reaction will this trigger. It’s a smaller species of the problem that many modern rpg video games have when a dialogue options says one thing but the character takes it much further and it becomes something else entirely, so I would advise to lengthen the descriptions of some of the choices.
Also during the feast I felt an extreme urge to inform Their Royal Ass-Scratchers of the calculus of war(especially after the princess’ arrogant ourburst at the funeral). How many days worth of rations were wasted for this little feast, how many wounded may die because they couldn’t get enough food to regain strength, how many lives were thrown away for our first clear victory in 12 years that they dare to call “unfortunate” and HOW MANY WIDOWS AND ORPHANS WILL NOW BE TOLD TO REJOICE BECAUSE PEACE WAS MADE WITH THE EMPIRE WHEN WE COULD BRING THIS WAR TO ITS NATURAL END AND GIFT THEM VENGEANCE!
Also I hope that we get some paranoid or at least skeptical options when it comes to this marriage, because to me this reads as it might be an underhanded tactic to assassinate the enemy’s top commander.Us.
Luck and fortune for this project and for its talented writer 
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MC have no choice no independent of thought it just how they’re raised, now this is the chance to regain that independence, in order to get it you need to roleplay as someone that has been told everything to do all your life you know no other life than this, now that other life finally arrive.
Player need to push MC to regain semblance of self first then move to the next
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I love it, it’s such a good interaction fiction, the drama, the sadness, the characters, magnifique 
I’m so much looking forward to the first chapter 
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It hasn’t been revealed yet, but it will be!
The MC tries to avoid thinking about Sadie’s death as much as possible. 
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This is a good point, and I’ve had some other people share similar feedback. Personally, when I play an IF part of the fun for me is figuring out how the mechanics work and how the writer interprets stats like traits and skills and how they relate to the choices. However, I take it for granted that everyone reads IFs the same way I do, so I will be implementing a toggle for tone and skill indicators when I post Chapter 1 by the end of October! This update will also apply to the prologue choices. (Shoutout to @ChanceOfFire for the suggestion)
Thank you so much for your feedback!
And regarding your spoiler tagged text: I really considered having a more explicit option to rant about the calculus of war and really put them in their place, but I was a bit concerned about redundancy and also the prologue getting too long, oof. Plus the MC’s father still has a hold over them that gives even the intimidating & bold MCs pause.
That being said, vague spoilers for Chapter 1: mid-way through the chapter there will be a flashback to the remainder of the events of that day and you can confront each of the characters who were at the feast individually. These confrontations will have consequences that will come up later in the story, too.
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Kill him!!!
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Aye you did pretty damn good with this looking forward to more
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I like that it is a (somewhat) older MC. The war is a perfect explanation for an unwed royal character in this setting. I am disappointed that our spouse won’t be a RO, though, but I understand your reasoning and am confident in your writing abilities to make me enjoy the rest of the story ^^
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Its a very good story, but i think the Mc’s old is a bit much for many, Instead of making it a 12 year old war make it much smaller 6 or 8 years or even better can make it a 12 year old campaign but you can make the join mc in later years as & also you can make the mc very young ( literally child in a bloody war), It will make his/her PTSD more traumatic also it will make the Mc’s story more brutal & engaging, you can draw inspiration from I, the forgotten one.
My suggestion is make the Mc join as a page under the lord commander of the whole campaign at 11 to 12 years old , he/she became knighted at very young age with his/her lover , after 4 or 5 years into to the war the knight commander dies who is a father like figure to him, which also deeply traumatized the Mc, as a prince/princess he/she becomes the new lord commander of the campaign , after 2 or 3 years of becoming the commander the mc’s lover or friend dies, this also broke the MC more, & the Mc begun to self harm themselves, The story can begun at mc at 18-22 year old.
Note : Its just my personal opinion, sorry if i offended any one, also sorry if there is any grammatical mistake
This is an awesome start, I’m totally hooked now! There’s so much room for angst here and I’m here for all of it
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Very nice! Been looking for a wip like this for a while
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Thank you for your feedback! I, the Forgotten One is one of my favorite IFs.
I’m not really interested in writing a story about teenagers or young adults, to be honest; I’m an adult who writes primarily about adults who are past their adolescence (so people age 25 and older). For this story, it is also a plot point that the Emperor/Empress and the MC are still unmarried nobles at their age. Making them young adults would not fit the story I want to tell.
There will certainly be more in-depth exploration of PTSD than the prologue involved, it’s a very personal theme for me. But I’m going to explore symptoms outside of direct self-harm. There is definitely a place for depictions of self-harm like in I, the Forgotten One, but I’d like to shift the focus elsewhere for this story.
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That is a good idea since with how popular IFO is, it would be best for this story to have it’s own identity with as few similarities to that story, because then it would most likely than not, feel like a clone of it to a certain extent.
Also I do want to ask my earlier question again since it does intrigue me, regarding the Empire’s line of succession and how their society functions. Will this be told to us in Chapter 1 or would we have to wait longer for this sort of info in the story?
This has my curiosity since most medieval societies, and for the most part their fantasy counterparts, do usually have a heavy emphasize on bloodlines and lineages, since our spouse isn’t willing to make an heir then where would that leave the Empire after their death?
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There are some directions the game can go with regards to the question of succession, but here’s some minor lore spoilers I don’t mind sharing:
Wilmot is not an only child, and in fact has two older siblings like the MC (only the older siblings are a pair of identical twins). In the Dawn Empire, heirs are legally allowed to pass on their responsibility to the next in line if they dedicate themselves to the Sun Church. It’s part of an agreement that the first Dawn Emperor made with the Sun Church. In the event that the line of succession is broken, the Sun Church appoints a new emperor or empress. High-ranking clerics are allowed to nominate someone for the title, and then a vote is held during which the high-ranking clerics make their cases and the remaining clergy cast their votes. The Radiant (their version of a pope, kind of) makes the deciding vote, so the other votes are technically less formal, but they do have political sway over the Radiant’s decision, of course.
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With that bit of minor lore spoiler it defintly raises even more questions and curioisty. 
looking forward to seeing how things get presented to us.
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Yeah, now I have even more questions but I’ll be able to wait until they are hopefully answered in future chapters.
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By the way is it okay to ask who our RO’s are or is that too spoiler-y at the moment?
Oh gosh, I’m blind lol 
thank you so much
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