I’ve begun work on my new game Azure Dragon’s Legacy. In it, you play a promising outer disciple of the prestigious Azure Dragon Sect whose cultivation dreams are shattered when lightning destroys your meridians during advancement. Cast into exile, you must rebuild your life in the mortal world while discovering forbidden cultivation techniques that orthodox sects fear to acknowledge.
But the mortal realm holds its own dangers. Mysterious collectors gather fragments of ancient cultivation manuals, your new students ask dangerous questions about immortal masters, and the jade artifacts you authenticate pulse with power that could either save or damn you.
Will you find peace in mortal society, or will forbidden power corrupt your newly built life?
Currently it’s first 2 Chapters done, and I plan on updating every 2 or 3 weeks.
Hi! There are lots of pronoun mistakes that breaks the immersion. My character is female, but was referred to as he, even before I chose my gender. For example, like the screenshot above.
This is the most cultivation-like story I’ve seen on this site, that in itself is its own charm.
PoMA subverts it by starting you off in a Qi devoid world, AC kinda does its own thing and is just mostly inspired by cultivation stories, DA made you OP from the start, and TA is a mix between fantasy and cultivation.
This however, reads and plays like what you’d think a cultivation story would. I see great potential in this.
My only problem is that things seems to move too fast and choices aren’t really expanded upon. For example, the choice of ‘Speak with Chen Mei privately’ seems to come out of nowhere since you were not introduced to her beforehand and neither were the relationship between you two established prior to the choice. Only when you are on your way out of the sect are you introduced to her and have what your relationship with her are explained.
The pace of the story itself is too brisk, while unnecessarily dragging out a scene is bad, the opposite end of it is also just as bad. The scenes are written as if the story can’t wait to transition to the next scene. I have a hard time feeling invested in the things that are happening.
i know it’s frustrating but as the story is progressing the variables are getting out of hands but i am working on these , and they will be fixed in a few days. and it’s my first time ever working on something like this. also choice script gives error on all little things.
Hi that an interesting beginning.
The intro on my playthrough was going right until the expel. Then the time line go backward to the interactions with a disciple best friend. Then the secret within the wall.
The story then resume its course to the chap 2.
They are too much of possibility, maybe as an author you can narrow a little those possibilities ? or write more every choice the reader take (that a lot of work for a beginning).
The cheat in middle of the story is practical but unecessary. Maybe later when reader test all the choices and get fustrate about their root.
The advice about taking time to write every choice with care, seems to be a good one.
Azure Dragon’s Legacy. In it, you play a promising outer disciple of the prestigious Azure Dragon Sect whose cultivation dreams are shattered when lightning destroys your meridians during advancement. Cast into exile, you must rebuild your life in the mortal world while discovering forbidden cultivation techniques that orthodox sects fear to acknowledge.
is practical but unecessary. Maybe later when reader test all the choices and get fustrate about their root.