Congratulations on the release. Tbh, not really bad but sadly the story is not my cup of tea. Keep up the good work good luck with your next work 
Hey, all. Iâve completed my review for Arthur: A Retelling". Thanks for reading!
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Saw the thread bumped, which reminded me of the report I sent about the typos/errors. Got a reply saying it would be forwarded to the author, but no version update as of right now. So Iâll just post the email here in case the author didnât receive it.
Summary
(ver 30254)
Typos
âFear not, sir,â you reply with no small measure of confidence, âYou can trust me to supervise the development of my discipline in future with great strictness.â
As your surroundings contine you to clear, you begin to recognize the man who stands before you as none other thanâŚ
After some exemplary romping and more than a few pratfalls through the undergrowth, you know itâs time to for you to part waysâ
Still, itâs charming in its own way; the enclosing canopy seals the forest in near-darkness, and the trees entertwine inseparably, lending the forest a somewhat magical and mysterious air-- one half-expects to hear faery-song at any moment.
Thatâs understandable-- her exceptional beauty doesnât mean that you have like her that way.
Finally, she takes note of your sorry state, which is understably puzzling.
Thereâs rumors a famous lady might be coming to see it! Sir Quinn will be participating, so I was hoping Iâd might catch a glimpse of herâŚ"
Well, not every time, but youâve go to admit it was fun to watch people fall flat on their faces now and then.
â Doubts flickers in your eyes, but you know what the right path is-- you could never forget.
â And yet, you do feel something in your heart,like a binding vine entertwinedâŚ
(there are six occurrences of this line)
"Hi, Arthur.
(missing quotation mark at the end)
âWelcome back, ,â you hear her whisper into your ear. You shiver yourself a little bit.
This is supposed to be ${sibling}, but the variable remains blank in the entire game. This is because in Startup.txt, the variable is not modified in any of the gender choices.
Gender errors
Some of them may be intended. Some of the errors exist because there are no variables to be gender-swapped, such as lord and son.
For context:
Male:
Well, of course youâre a guy, youâre called Arthur, for goshâs sakes! That wouldnât be a very good name for a girl, not to mention the implausibility of a girl serving as a squire in these prejudiced times! Sheesh, thatâs some silly question, all right.
Female:
Yes, thatâs the truth, isnât it? Born female, but dressed and treated as a boy your whole life. Why? Youâve never really questioned it, but it might have something to do with the fact that your excessive attitude would likely doom you in the necessary pursuit of a husband. Yes, whoever gave birth to you probably thought your issue might even prove advantageous in the world of men! Of course, she was dead wrong, but it was a nice thought on her part, you suppose.
In any case, you have a boyâs name, a boyâs clothes, and just about everyone except Sir Ector seems to be under the impression that you are indeed a boy.
It should probably be fairly obvious to Kay at this point, but then again, heâs never really been the brightest bulb in the box.
Nonbinary:
Your gender naturally reflects your mysterious appeal, and is thus too indeterminate for any of your medieval peers to truly comprehend-- youâre pretty sure that they gave up trying quite a while ago (after all, itâs been some time since you last spotted Kayâs fellow apprentice-knight friends squinting at you from afar and trying to puzzle out whether you appeared more of a boy or a girl. âNeitherâ was apparently too confusing an answer for them.).
(Chapter2)
âIf yer want a fish, sonny, Iâll be needinâ some coin in return!â
[âŚ]
âOne of⌠these fish for the young lad,â the woman demands,
âWhy donât you gawk at somethinâ else, sonny? My wares are strictly for payinâ customers, they are!â
[âŚ]
âOne of these⌠fruit for the young lad,â the woman demands,
âSonny, I wouldnât be lookinâ at mah bread so closely if I were yeh, unless yeh have some coin in yehr pocket!â
[âŚ]
âOne of these loaves for the young lad,â the woman demands, and the next thing you know, the baker is handing you one!
Finally, she takes note of your sorry state.
âCome now, sir, this is no time to rest-- we must celebrate my freedom!â
âŚis she just dense or what?
[âŚ]
âOh, but I forget myself; for one so handsome as yourself, sir, I must introduce myself: I am the Lady Guinevere, come to this idyllic hamlet with my wealthy father to witness a great jousting tournament for the history books!â
(Chapter3)
âWell, if it isnât Arthur himself.â
(said by Rience)
Apples.
Ripe, red apples, sitting on the branches of a hundred-- no, more-- apple trees, reaching the sky and filling the earth. A fresh land, a drowsy place.
Softly comes in the dark figure: a dark-haired woman, very pale, very solemn. Her dark eyes scan the water as her small boat reaches the shore. She is carrying something.
As you look closer, you see her walk and walk, moving in strange time, until finally stopping at the top of a great hill. Looking out over the horizon, she sets down a manâis heâ no; merely sleeping.
But the glint in her eyes tells he will awakenâŚ
This is most likely a reference to the classic scene where Morgan takes the dying Arthur to Avalon (mention of apples).
(Chapter4)
âOh, itâs not so complex. Just some slipshod alterations to reality, courtesy of the squire that would be king. Or something like that. Itâs all pretty much falling apart, though, which isnât actually my fault.â
(two instances of this line)
âRise, son of Uther.â
âMy name is Nimue, but that is not important. What is important is who you are, son of Uther.â
âRise, my son!â
âMy lord?â
The high, vaulted ceiling rises high above your head, suspended by a series of impressive pillars surrounding you. Itâs quite a sight to seeâŚ
âAhem.â
Surprised, you look down again to find the voice, and find a man in formal clothes looking back at you.
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Fair warning, this author doesnât visit the forum much.
In my experience, itâs best not to get too personally invested in errors youâve reported. If they said they would forward your email, they almost certainly did - in my experience theyâre quite conscientious about that. Some authors appreciate any feedback, even years after release, and will update the game as soon as reasonably possible. Sometimes theyâll take their time about it and youâll see your feedback implemented months later. Sometimes when theyâre done theyâre done, and they arenât going to touch it again. Believe me, I understand the frustration - Iâm a perfectionist with a handful of semi-legitimate proofreading credits, and a few times Iâve taken the time to send in a thoughtful report and nothing ever came of it, which doesnât feel great. But ultimately, this isnât our territory and we canât force it through. Itâs best to send it in and let it go.
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I know, Iâm sure it did get forwarded. I didnât say I had doubts about that. Itâs just that in my experience, sometimes emails get lost because theyâre marked falsely as spam or accidentally deleted, so I put it here in case that was what happened. For me itâs not about forcing anything or being personally invested, itâs more of a âjust in caseâ thing. The author can do anything with the feedback.
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