Apocolyptia (Small Demo is now up with fixed link)

I must be Punished by being given acupuncture

@Ledalla anything less than unconventional and we’d shun you… Well maybe not shun but ehh we would be less excited well anyways I’m very interested and in the words of your new patrons/enthusiasts/epic people dry humor is best humor also stop the pun wars you know not what you do when you start pun wars this early in the development anywho we all seem to like it also @H2O really man really :pensive: Your lost already so yeah goodbye have a pun time guys :smiling_imp: Pun pun pun pun pun… Pun pun pun … Pun pun pun pun… Pun :smiling_imp: Annnndddd also PUN!!! :joy: Panda :panda_face:

Make a pun about pandas also anyone else here sardonic

@Generikb, you lost me.

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I think he means PUNda

Maybe the final battle will lead to a PUNdemonium

These puns are just getting me more PUNped for this game

0/10
Demo had filler.
Demo joked about filler
Rating goes up to 3/10
MC acknowledges narrator.
5/10
Has a monster that I call mother 8/10
Has friend named cleric that might likes me 10/10
Would hope that he doesn’t confess to me again.

I like how descriptive it is and the fact that the MC complains about the filler is even better.

You might want to include a link in the opening post, having to scroll down to a random part of the thread to find it is going to become more confusing as new replies get posted.

As for the demo, you seem to have a thing against apostrophes and spaces after ellipses. There is also a choicescript_stats line 4: Non-existent variable ‘agility’ error any time the stats page is accessed.

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Ah, thank you for the feedback! The stats screen is gonna be like for a while until I fix it, which I’m currently doing. But the stats are the last thing, truth be told.

As for the ellipses, when I re-update, I promise to fix that the best I can!

If anyone can teach me how to paragraph like a normal person, I’d gladly take the assistance, btw.

The text of your game, right now, is divided into paragraphs, so I’m not sure what you’re asking.

The link isn’t working for me.It says 404 Not Found.

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IDK if you’re aware your stats screen isn’t working. Did you put *create and *set commands at the top of your startup page? Also there’s an indenting problem.

As far as the writing while the beginning seemed a bit too fluffy I liked it quite a bit overall.

Yeaaah a lot of it was rough cause I was still super rusty with ChoiceScript. I’m finishing up Part 1 now, so when it gets re updated, all the issues regarding stats screen and apostrophe ?'s and indenting should be fixed.

Though the fluffs gonna be much longer in the update I’m afraid, ahahah. It’s kind of a joke of Visual Novels and their overly long openings before anything interesting ever happens.:sweat_smile:

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Alrighty, now. Since I can’t edit the original post, I guess the new link will have to be in a reply with some info.

http://dashingdon.com/play/Ledalla/apocolyptia/mygame/

Brand new demo, reaching up to 11,500+ words! Everything should be fixed, though I should implement a save system soon. Any help on what should be happening with the writing style would be lovely!

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Oh geeze, first time commenting not lurking! Sorry if I sounds weird!

I played through the WiP twice now and I really really like it! My favorite kind of jokes are puns actually and the earlier part of the thread was super funny.

Despite my liking it though, there are still some issues, since I see weird black diamonds occasionally and a few choices lead to “cannot find” errors. I hope you will continue it, despite the last time you posted in this was a month ago, whoops!

ok this is really awesome plus dry comedy that makes this even better lol