A Dance with Demons (update 2023-10-27)

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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nyeru my beloved ig

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i was waiting like a hour and nothing changed

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I absolutely loved the first book. I’m really enjoying this one so far, and love it every time I find a easter egg from the first game. Both the big and obvious ones, and the sly little ones.

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Wait so i have question is the old Mc going to play a part in this new story?

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The combat system is actually cool if you understand it. A strike beats a taunt, a bide beats a strike and an uninterrupted taunt will force you to strike in the next round. When you studdy, You will make yourself an open target in the current round in order to gain info on what your opponent will do in the next round. Just pray that your opponent doesn’t taunt you while studying or biding, otherwise you will be forced into a strike. My apologies for not blurring this, screen reader user here. Perhaps the moderators can help with this.

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You’re okay, it’s not a narrative spoiler so it doesn’t need to be blocked.

I can tell that that’s what the combat system is going for, but as it currently stands, it’s left sort of vague and unclear for a reader initially. With Nyeru being in our head, they would be able to explain the system thoroughly without making us jump out of the story or anything. I also think changing “bide” to something more active would clear things up a bit as well, as I did not initially realize that was meant to be defensive.

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Wow @will !! I’ve always loved your writing style, I didn’t even realize you had room for improvement, if I am honest (your games are already so good!)
but here we are. You’ve done it again, but better. :slight_smile: I hope you are really proud of what you have so far, because it’s above and beyond,imo. I am already fully attached to the characters I have met
the way the epilogue introduces us to this world was RIDICULOUSLY well written and rich in descriptions and the setting of the scene
incredibly fulfilling read so far, cannot wait to read more. (I haven’t gotten into any intense combat just yet, so I can’t speak on some of the other comments, but the path I have taken so far has been heartbreaking and emotional and wonderful. Cheers!) Really happy for you!

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how do i get the [KIND] tag?

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Nice the first one is one of my all time favourites can’t wait to see how this one turns out :slight_smile:

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When you get to the part of what our father teached us you should pick the first option.

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ah ty :handshake:

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Hello! Are the Snows a poly route only? Because if you want to romance them separately, how would that work?

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Will –

Thanks for sharing your work in progress.

  • Tag system – I enjoyed the implementation of this system so far, and feel as long as there are additional non-tagged choices available, then what you are doing should work.
  • fight system – it was okay.

I much prefer choreographed or “scripted” fights in IF stories rather than procedural
 especially since the mechanism utilized is choice script’s random number generator, which i dislike.

  • randomized outcomes – not a fan of this

  • the first and second person narration – you are talented enough to pull it off. The only concern I have about it, is the demon starting out the story is not clear that they are just a narrator and not the MC.

So far, I enjoy the characters and the relationships you show that exist, such as between Dandy and the fox (whose name is escaping me at the moment.

  • Magus Chiron’s voice seemed to shift between the prologue and the execution. Maybe it was because there were a lot of Magus Chirons, all packed together and nuance is harder to grasp in this case.

Everything is quiet on the tone and content front so far.

  • with tags like “clueless” will there be choices that end up being detrimental?

One of the hang-ups I feel that will make readers hesitate to go with tags like this is the concern that tags, like this one, will lead to outcomes that they are not expecting or that are “out of character” as they perceive their character to have.

Possible continuity error: When I chose shapeshifter, I was told I could not shift like my mother, but when confronting Mrs. Snow at the gate, I was able to shapeshift into her worst fear: loss of control.

I enjoyed how my eyes and my mother’s were linked together. I’d like to see more of that sort of thing.

Thanks again for sharing your work.

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There was also the ability for a shifter to turn into a spider in the attic, and I think one other point as well

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Okay, I have to ask about the Snows-
Is there a poly route for them? Or do you have to
 remove the other
 or??

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This looks awesome! I can’t wait to see it develop :slight_smile:

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Gods. I hope not.

If this like Octavia and Regongar from pathfinder: Kingmaker situation again, I’d rather not romanced one of them. when you tried to romance Octavia alone, regongar kinda died, regardless of your companion status with him

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This one will be a more traditional narrative with a beginning, middle, and end.

Thanks!!!

Working it into a tutorial ASAP. I also might have an option to turn off combat, or scrap it entirely, depending on how I feel. The code was a pain in the ass so there might be a bit of a sunk cost fallacy there.

Their romance route won’t involve breaking up their marriage.

Every tag is a net benefit to the player over the course of the game, even the “negative” ones. The Clueless tag in particular is a comic relief tag. That said, not every individual option labelled with a tag will necessarily be beneficial. The scene where you milk the Levocera is a good example of this; the only option that Grim reacts well to is one without a tag at all.

It’s a bit like the Blue options in FTL. For the most part they’re beneficial, but occasionally it’s better to choose the regular option. I don’t want people just blindly selecting the option that has the tag they have without reading every option and weighing them up.

This is a difficult thing to communicate to the reader, of course. I might include a bit more in the character creation section on the role of the tags, but they’re not super diegetic (in the way that the 1st person narration is) so it’s a bit more difficult to tutorialise naturally.

When you reunite with your mother, this conversation explains a little more what the situation is:

# [SHAPESHIFTER] “I’m like you, mom.”

She puts down her food. “What do you mean?”

Instead of telling her, you show her. You take on the face of Magus Chiron.

She scrambles back and holds out her spoon defensively. “Please tell me it’s you.”

“It’s me. Just last week, I didn’t clean that spoon well enough. When you scolded me, Skye picked it up and threw it at your head.” Your features shift back into their normal appearance. “It’s me.”

“I had always thought you were more human than changeling.”

“I think I still am. A demon gave me this power.”

“No,” she says. “You’ve always had it. The demon showed it to you. It wasn’t given.”

It’s easy to miss, however. I’ll see about making the explanation happen sooner and more obviously: Joining with the demon unlocks your latent changeling abilities.

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How do I get the criminal tag?

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Never mind I figured it outđŸ‘đŸ»