I’ve lost everything, my status, my family, and now my freedom. This is my story, a story of an enslaved assassin battling against death, despair, and delirium.
Characters: Protagonist: Play as an ex-noble who has become an enslaved assassin controlled by a parasitic worm. Can you free yourself from your master’s clutches and ascend the cultivation world, or will you and your sister follow the rest of your family to the afterlife? Ema (Sister): A warm and bubbly exterior hides a well of sorrow. Theo (Sam): A friend, mentor, and father figure. They look out for you in the shadow sect.
A fusion of the Roman Empire, the Teutonic order, and Edo Japan in the process of industrialization.
Any feedback is welcome, and since there is not much content at the moment, feedback on my writing style and the direction of the novel would be most appreciated.
The first two chapters are already released on Royal Road. After I finish the first book, I plan on adapting the novel to the cog format. : )
Notepad is giving me an aneurysm, so does anyone have tips on the best software for choicescript? VSCode, Atom, Chronicler, CSIDE, Notepad++, or something else? For now, I’ll use VScode, unless another option is better.
I honestly have no clue how long it will be, but I have a lot of plot to write… so only time will tell.
I also need to think up a cultivation system, so any ideas would be most appreciated. So far I’m thinking of mixing magic, murim qi + martial arts, and Reverend Insanity’s use of refining and raising gu.
For your first game, and for someone in secondary school, I would recommend focusing on completing a very short game rather than commit to a massive sprawling epic. For a game using ChoiceScript, especially, go for a short, interesting story – much shorter than you first think, like only a few chapters – and then focus on making it really broad with branching paths and alternative endings. It’s the best way to get used to ChoiceScript as a system and put out a finished game for that nice hit of dopamine.
I mean this is the nicest way possible but I really think you have jumped the gun with starting a thread for your game already. Based on your responses, you haven’t really figured out characters or lore and I understand that having other’s input can be incredibly useful for refining things, but there isn’t really anything to give advice on yet as there is very little here. I believe the only reason you haven’t be redirected to the ‘Interest Check Thread’ is technically, you have a demo, as short as it is.
Despite me saying this, I am looking forward to a more substantial demo from you. I’ve become mildly obsessed with wuxia/xianxia cultivation systems atm, as I binge watched ‘The Untamed’ recently and while the series itself was not without complaint, it was very refreshing compared to the same old magic systems that I am used to.
Fair enough, I started this on the spur of the moment (and probably should have written more before posting), but I should be able to thicken the demo by the end of the week. It’s going to be more of a passion project, so I won’t promise anything great, but I’ll just keep chugging until I get a finished product. Thanks for the feedback though.
Selectable name + gender + character looks should be available tomorrow. I have also planned my cultivation system, so I will post that tomorrow as well. Yipee.
Your inexperience, combined with the scope of this story, means that you should really, really start smaller. ChoiceScript takes an order of magnitude longer to write than a novel of equivalent length. The first novel I wrote was 90k words, and it was terrible. I’m glad I wrote it as a novel; if it were a CS game I’d still be working on it today, it would be 600,000 words long, and I’d never have moved on as a writer.
When you’re just starting out, don’t do passion projects: do smaller experimental stuff that excites you. If you really like the idea of a story about an assassin god, start them off already as a god and then explore what that’s like for them. Do all the fun stuff and skip the agony. Get a few years of experience under your belt, and for the love of god, finish stuff.