A Dance With Death

Name: A Dance with Death

Summary:
I have lost everything, my family, my status, and now my freedom. This is my story, a story of how an enslaved assassin became a god.

Characters:
Protagonist: Play as an ex-noble who has become an enslaved assassin controlled by a parasitic worm. Can you free yourself from your master’s clutches and ascend the cultivation world, or will you and your sister follow the rest of your family to the afterlife?
Sister: A warm and bubbly exterior hides a dark past.

Setting:
A mix between western feudal society and the Murim world on the precipice of the industrial revolution.

Experience:
This is my first time writing a novel let alone a cog. (I only started this afternoon after I realized COD was going to take another 9 hours to download, lol.)

Feedback:
Any feedback is welcome and since there is not much content at the moment feedback on my writing style and the direction of the novel would be most appreciated. I have thick skin, so rib me to your heart’s content.

Progress:
Currently, it’s about 0.1% complete, with 1 Chapter and 1500 Words. Choices and stats are not yet correctly implemented. :sweat_smile:

Plot (rough with bullet points + awful grammar)
  1. Once part of a noble house and defenders of the kingdom’s throne

  2. Kingdom conquered by neighbor when you = 11 and sister = 9

  3. Parents and elder brother (16) killed only younger sister left

  4. Found by the cities shadow sect division leader while begging in the city

  5. Pretending to be a righteous sect he offered MC to become his disciple. He gave MC a deadly parasite to control him disguised as a cultivation pill.

  6. MC was forced to assassinate other mortals for money or they would kill him and his sister. (They are now 17 and 15)

  7. Novel starts by killing a man

  8. Later MC is tasked to assassinate an old lady, but she gives him martial arts to train, as her son died and left them behind. MC still has to kill her but she dies voluntarily saying she has already lived a long life.

  9. MC trains martial arts to become more powerful and attain freedom

  10. Master finds out about his cultivation and punishes him by killing sister keeping her soul hostage as leverage

  11. MC’s mission is now to resurrect her using immortal methods

  12. Makes MC more cold-hearted and ruthless

  13. Eventually kills master and gets sister’s soul. No way of bringing her back for now so he cultivates… Ideas for what’s next?

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/9415

78 Likes

First!

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ill wait till more chapters are released, but this looks promising.

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Thanks, the next step will be implementing name + gender selection along with correct stats. Anyway, I’m going to hit the hay now, so goodnight.

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Question. What is the Constitution stat for?

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Pretty sure constitution is supposed to mean your endurance/how much damage you can take.

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Looks Interesting, I’ll definitely read it again if more chapters are released.

Also, Will there be ROs?

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Yeah, I plan to implement them later, but as of yet, I have not decided who they are. I’m going on a hike today, so if I have time I’ll add a few choices this evening.

Just updated the stats.

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Notepad is giving me an aneurysm, so does anyone have tips on the best software for choicescript? VSCode, Atom, Chronicler, CSIDE, Notepad++, or something else? For now, I’ll use VScode, unless another option is better.
Thanks.

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Sounds interesting has a bit Chinese vibe with the cultivation bit

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Yeah, it has infulences from Wuxia novels. Cheers.

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The game will be one point five million words long?!

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I honestly have no clue how long it will be, but I have a lot of plot to write… so only time will tell. :smiley:

I also need to think up a cultivation system, so any ideas would be most appreciated. So far I’m thinking of mixing magic, murim qi + martial arts, and Reverend Insanity’s use of refining and raising gu.

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For your first game, and for someone in secondary school, I would recommend focusing on completing a very short game rather than commit to a massive sprawling epic. For a game using ChoiceScript, especially, go for a short, interesting story – much shorter than you first think, like only a few chapters – and then focus on making it really broad with branching paths and alternative endings. It’s the best way to get used to ChoiceScript as a system and put out a finished game for that nice hit of dopamine.

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@Felix_Jones you got a interesting idea with this look forward to seeing what ya do with it :smiley:

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I mean this is the nicest way possible but I really think you have jumped the gun with starting a thread for your game already. Based on your responses, you haven’t really figured out characters or lore and I understand that having other’s input can be incredibly useful for refining things, but there isn’t really anything to give advice on yet as there is very little here. I believe the only reason you haven’t be redirected to the ‘Interest Check Thread’ is technically, you have a demo, as short as it is.

Despite me saying this, I am looking forward to a more substantial demo from you. I’ve become mildly obsessed with wuxia/xianxia cultivation systems atm, as I binge watched ‘The Untamed’ recently and while the series itself was not without complaint, it was very refreshing compared to the same old magic systems that I am used to.

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Fair enough, I started this on the spur of the moment (and probably should have written more before posting), but I should be able to thicken the demo by the end of the week. It’s going to be more of a passion project, so I won’t promise anything great, but I’ll just keep chugging until I get a finished product. Thanks for the feedback though.

Selectable name + gender + character looks should be available tomorrow. I have also planned my cultivation system, so I will post that tomorrow as well. Yipee.

7 Likes

Your inexperience, combined with the scope of this story, means that you should really, really start smaller. ChoiceScript takes an order of magnitude longer to write than a novel of equivalent length. The first novel I wrote was 90k words, and it was terrible. I’m glad I wrote it as a novel; if it were a CS game I’d still be working on it today, it would be 600,000 words long, and I’d never have moved on as a writer.

When you’re just starting out, don’t do passion projects: do smaller experimental stuff that excites you. If you really like the idea of a story about an assassin god, start them off already as a god and then explore what that’s like for them. Do all the fun stuff and skip the agony. Get a few years of experience under your belt, and for the love of god, finish stuff.

7 Likes