never relied on statistic…they are no proof of anything.
Always give the Good and Evil equal same treatment.
Just like you do with character, everyone should have it time to shine…in the story.
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The problem is a “lighthearted sequel with everyone” potentially invalidates a legitimate ending within the game.
My humble opinion: don’t be too hard on yourself. I don’t think it’s possible to craft 200,000 perfect words in succession, much less double that or more. To paraphrase a description of the Wagnerian opera role of Siegfried: to attempt it is laudable, to complete it is remarkable, to do it well is astonishing, to do it perfectly is impossible.
In my experience of copy editing over a dozen (I think? I haven’t counted recently) CoG games, every single author is different and has different pitfalls, different issues to deal with. None is free from sin 
If breaking away from a sentence is how it gets done, that’s how it gets done. Just consider using a bookmark like TKTK or comment: TODO to remind you to fill that in later and you’re good to go.
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Thanks! At this point I’ve accepted it as more of a charming foible of my working method, to the point where at my day job, we actually added a script that catches it for me. I’ll definitely keep in mind the idea of just bookmarking the spot before I jump away though, and I appreciate the perspective from an experienced copyeditor.
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My MC, Leigh is a bit like Sera. My MC is a thief too. She doesn’t like the idea of elfes being so hung up on the past either (she doesn’t like that attitutude from other races either hence why she often tends to not pick a side when one of those elves vs humans arguments come up). Tho when she romances Khattya she makes some compromises because these stuff are important for Khattya, but still makes it clear here and there that she doesn’t belive in “superstitions”. Another big difference between Sera and my MC is that my MC is less impulsive and more calculating. (Also Sera could probably easily beat my MC in an archery competition even with her eyes closed xD).
On a different topic from the Sera comparison: My first playthrough was with the same MC, she ended up as a bad “guy”. I romanced the queen, and betrayed everyone. Yeah, it was really heartwrenching to betray them all, but it was also kind of enjoyable to be the bad “guy” or becoming so obsessed with the queen that I’d let her transform me into a baddie? Also my MCs beliefs about letting go of the past and trying to build a better future did kinda fit into this one too, the queen promised no more wars between races so…
Anyways I really enjoyed this game. Interesting world building, well written characters, engaging plot (and the sorta Dragon Agish vibes didn’t hurt either in my book). So congratulations to the author and I hope we will get to see more books from him (maybe in this setting/world again? But seeing how he would handle other setting/genres could be also interesting).
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I think you could use that to your advantage. Screenwriting is highly visual after all, despite not usually being as wordy as prose, as I’m sure you’re well aware. At least for me, someone who’s a hobbyist screenwriter, I almost find it easier to read something that reads like a screenplay than “traditional” prose. Less fluff, but enough description to get the important bits across to the reader.
To me, at least, being able to actually choose sides is a breath of fresh air among CoG/HG titles. Sure, others have choices the player can affect like character relationships, romance, sometimes even whether a character lives or dies, etc., but many have only a single predetermined ending. All roads lead to Author’s Choice of Ending, as it were. I really appreciate having an alternate route, compared to most games where you’re basically locked into the “hero” role no matter what from the beginning.
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Another thing which I’m pretty sure I’ve read complaints about. The artist who made the character arts. Obviously it’s not from the same artist as the one who did the cover art. But recently I’ve seen these artist doing portrays for several recent Cog books. I’m pretty sure it’s the same style as in that one about the french revolution (I don’t remember the exact title), or the Tesla book or about Social services… (With the supernatural creatures). So If they are all are done by the same artist then, what I’m trying to say is that in this book they managed so far to come the closest to what was described of the characters in the book. So they are improving. Tho I also have to admit that I’m still not that much of a fan their drawing style.
Edit: Their drawing style while I can’t discliam that it’s seems improving, it still strikess me with the vibe that they started with caricatures. And they still have some way to go if they want to leave this vibe behind.
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It is the same artist. His name is Jerel Dye.
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An impressively thorough and honest self assessment. I don’t disagree with the points you’ve honed in on, but if it makes you feel any better, these problems also arise in Big Budget video games with whole teams of writers and editors, so you’re in good company!
I’ve already offered my feedback on the game, but I do wanna reiterate that for as ambitious a project as this was, you did pretty dang well! It’s certainly getting marked down as a favorite CoG for me 
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This is a fantastic read, and thoroughly exhaustive retrospective that I think any CoG fan can appreciate! There are a few bits in here that definitely resonate with me. I hope you don’t mind me indulging myself with my take on a few:
This. I had the same problem when I wrote Werewolves 1. When I did W2 and PoK, I changed to having a word goal for the week (Monday - Sunday) and that helped me immensely by taking the pressure off bad days. Ending the week on Sunday was useful because it gave me the whole weekend to make up for any missteps during the week. This is the way.
Scope creep is the plague of my existence and this style of writing (unlike crafting novels) actively encourages it. This is probably the one genre in existence where readers WANT bloat. No, they DEMAND bloat, 
. Something like half of Parliament of Knives exists due to scope creep. I planned for the thing to be about 300k words, but by the epilogue the bloody abomination ended up cresting 600k. I wanted to die by the end of that thing and I was desperately pulling 16k word weeks to finish on time. Ugh.
I feel that in my bones. I offered the chance for a player to join with the antagonist in the last few chapters of Werewolves 1 without thinking about the sequel. The writing of WW2 was a massive headache because I kept trying to wedge that route in there while not having things feel incoherent. My sympathies.
This is the worst. I look back at my earlier CoG work and it feels so goddamn sloppy. (And I’m afraid to even look at my self-published stuff from before.) I know people enjoy it, but sometimes it feels like it was written by another writer (who occasionally copies my favourite words and phrases a bit too often.)
Anyway, thanks for the look into your process! I really enjoyed the game, too, so I hope you keep at it! Cheers!
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I’d also like an option to disable images. I get that the artist obviously put a lot of work and time into the pieces, but part of the whole appeal of text-based games is not having images and being able to use our own imagination.
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It’s really great to hear my description of the experience resonates with you, especially because I’ve really enjoyed your work and you’re one of a handful of writers I saw as one of my north stars for this.
I definitely learned a lot in the process of writing this, and I’m sure that if I make another one, I’ll put these learnings into practice, avoid (most of) these mistakes… and make a bunch of exciting new mistakes instead.
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Weird question here. But, trying to cap off the Evil Route, how do you have a perfect love scene with the Queen to get the achievement? 
Great game, btw! Already left a review!
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I think it was an interesting new take to make the orcs the race which seems most hung up about noble lines and luxury, while in most fantasy worlds they are portrayed as barbarians living in tribes.
Edit: Another thing I liked how I could freely shape my MC. It wasn’t that if I choosed a way at the very beginning of the game then I had to stick to that or I would be punished by the game (talking about the opposite stats here). I could shift a selfish and kinda cowardly thief to become someone who cares about people, and while still a bit cowardish when it comes to actual fighting still finds a way to help those around her.
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Having just finished two playthroughs (one on this path, one with a very similar character not on it) I do have to commend you on your writing of the Queen’s character. You wrote a Well-Intentioned Extremist in a world of gray morality, and yet you managed to make it clear that even if she isn’t exactly wrong about the problem with the world, and she really does want what she sees as best for it, she’s a genuine tyrant. Better, you did that without falling into a rival pitfall, that the world sucks and the villain’s the only one even trying to do something about that (or as Homer Simpson once said, “the lesson is, never try”). Well done.
Though on the subject of gray morality, I was somewhat disappointed that there was no option to actually support Lazar, despite several points indicating that he’d be a much better ruler than Vid. The best you can do is broker a temporary alliance in that chapter and not go along to help Vid in the climax.
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I agree with your take on Nidana. She gets much less “screen time” than any of the other main characters, so it would have been so easy for her to come across as two-dimensional. And I did wish that she received more character development, but it’s because she was already such a good character, a noble idealist turned tyrant, who always had both aspects within her character but has had 500 years to slip down the morality scale until the noble ideals have evolved into something truly twisted - and yet there’s something about her I can’t entirely hate, even when I’m playing to take her down.
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Get matchmaker, one who wears rhe crown and kill the other chars? Is there a human domination ending where the order is disbanded, dwarves conquered and the orcs either neutralized or allied?
In my opinion, it’s the queen’s way with the MC. She really seem like she’s trying to win the MC over, and not the other way around. The last wizard comes to mind. While certain people and factions are rivals, they are not stupid. If they were to come off as say, Flis from A mage reborn in book 2, there’d be no way for the MC to even want to hear her out. That’s at least how I see it.
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In the ending, she shows a certain amount of genuine concern long after the facade would stop mattering, so I believe her on this one.
Besides, if she were trying to persuade you, she wouldn’t go in expecting you to obey from the start like she does. “You don’t instantly swear allegiance? Then face my wrath!”
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Stealing the runestone from Grinn appears to be impossible, even with a stealth score of 67. Will try with 70.