I agree with @shettiejw it is an amazing demo. Detective stories are awesome. Hopefully we get the chance to actually finish this new case
But as for agent 100, his struggle with aging and getting old definitely makes him more unique in my eyes but it also completely kills any interested in him as a RO imho. Iām not a fan of big age gaps in relationships and to meā¦ hes just too old. Kinda curious how you are planning to write that particular subplot.
As for Angel tho, I adored him! Always a fan of an unapologetic villain.
Fair enough, I know thatās not going to be everyoneās cup of tea. It is a significant age gap (if anyoneās wondering, 180 doesnāt have a solid canon age, but the narrative will mostly assume theyāre 30-something) and that is going to come up - itās one of the reasons he might be hesitant about the romance.
Looks like the backgrounds are pretty evenly spread, from the poll, thatās good! (Though thief is the most popular career - itās the suaveness, right? )
@Anathema You make a good point. I think itās a really unique take on a character to have him deal with the universal challenge of āgetting oldā, but at the same time, I feel like the age gap is just too much. If he was in his mid 40s, I think heād still be struggling with the idea of getting older and not being as physically capable as he was at his peak. The age gap would still be significant, but more manageable, I think. Ultimately, I will respect @Scribblesomeās choice as the author, of course, just my two cents
I might knock a few years off and make him early-mid 50s, but I feel like I want to keep him in his 50s ā¦ if you have a 40-something upset about being too old it seems more like heās just being overdramatic!
Ok, Iāve added Chapter Three to the demo now! Now you get the introduction to Hanson Industries and the other characters/LIs. Let me know what you think, if you find any errors, etc.
Also I enabled the save system, which I did forget about before.
Like the new update. This is probably my favourite WiP at the moment. The cultural touches are wonderful, especially with the Markov/a choice. I hope youāre ok with me making a few comments, donāt mean to come across as nit-picky or anything, just things that seemed a bit jarring or incomplete.
During the casino scene at the beginning, the MC has the choice to charm Frau Bergmann into letting them upstairs. They talk a bit, Bergmann uses rather colloquial language at the end, and MC follows her upstairs. And then she disappears. I found that a bit disjointed since with the way things were going and the inclusive tone of ācome onā Iād expect her to at least make some parting comment once there.
Would MC get a chance to tell the Director about the do svidaniya comment? It sounded like a threat, and would probably be rather vital and useful information, but MC doesnāt seem to think much of it afterwards.
typos
āDid I tell you about Petrovichās crocodiles?ā Angel says, pervesely upbeat.
The signal for both is routed through your phone, camoflagued by the mobile signal.
Like this - good catch, I did have some lines in the old version explaining where she went, I think they got lost in the revamp. So Iāll fix that up.
And I might give a line or two of the Director explaining whatās happened/going to happen to Petrovich (protective custody, essentially. Iād worry more for the crocodile goons - DIABLO donāt take failure well)
I really want to put an LI poll up but I guess you havenāt seen enough of them yet. (And I have the feeling Angel would be in the lead, with all the sexy evil )
Still, any thoughts on the introduction of the characters so far? Do they make a vivid enough impression?
So I replayed this again and now picked the dead fiance option and god that was genuinely sad! It was just a short text but you wrote it beautifully and I could feel my MCās happiness. So my question is will we be able to play a MC stil in love with their dead fiance? Cause thatās kinda how I want to play honestly. A ruthless vengeful agent hell-bent on bringing down DIABLO.
Like will they be mentioned again or in flashbacks? Or maybe we could tell the other characters about them.
I just wanna keep holding poor Nick in my MCās broken heart
Iām so glad you said that! I actually rewrote that part already - originally it was more āyou had a fiancee, now theyāre deadā which I thought wouldnāt have much impact on the reader, so the story of how you met is purely for the added FEELS
Definitely yes to both! Thereāll be flashbacks coming up, and if you start a new romance it will be mentioned then too, or youāll be able to say that MC is still too hung up on Nick/Nina to love anyone else.
And Iām so glad you said that! Some games (and books, movies, etc) use the dead spouse/friend/family as a cheap motivation method and never talk about it again. Iām really happy youāre planning to treat it differently - I mean itās a traumatic event, itās bound to have long-lasting effects on people.
Oh yeah, the way my MC is she wonāt be able to love anyone else for a very loooong time. Certainly not before she brings hellfire upon DIABLO - and Angel.
Can I just say how delightful it is to play as a ruthless character? I usually prefer to make suave, manipulating characters but intimidating people in this game is too good a time to pass! I feel like a badass
And last thing (cause I know Iām rambling) - Hercules Hanson is awesome. His name is great, his appearance is great and his temper is great too. Loved his introduction.
Oh yeah, all the trauma backgrounds are going to come up, both in how they affect the MC and in some plot stuff. Itās most obvious with the hand background at the moment but theyāll be important for everyone.
Speaking of the hand, if itās not too spoilery, how much impact would it have on gameplay? I can imagine that it might raise some suspicion, because an āadvanced prostheticā doesnāt sound like something your average person would have. Also, would the MC be disadvantaged if they chose to take lock picks or knockout toxin? Say they hurt their right hand, or are fighting someone so their right hand is engaged - would the prosthetic hand have the necessary dexterity to use those devices?
They mostly appear to have distinct idiolects and personalities. Especially 100 - the seeming incongruity between his playfulness and the gravity of his presence made him the most vivid character to me. Valdez, on the other hand, wasnāt really, though thatās probably due to the limited exposure or her clipped speech.
The game is supposed to be set slightly in the future (about 202-something) to account for the more advanced tech, so itās not impossible for an average person to have a fancy prosthetic, though it would come with quite the price tag.
It has the necessary dexterity, it might be more of a problem that the MC canāt feel what theyāre doing. But gameplay-wise, I donāt want to give the player a significant disadvantage that they wouldnāt have with other backgrounds, because thatās not balanced. So ā¦ itāll only really be an issue if itās plot-convenient/dramatic for it to be so. The PTSDās going to come up more, but thatās all plot stuff.
Doing some rewriting on chapter 4 so that will be up maybe tomorrow or Tuesday. Iāll update with corrections for the typos etc that people noticed in the currently available chapters then too.
I have to admit that this chapter isnāt quite where I want it yet. Iām not sure what else it needs, but itās something let me know what you think.
There is, however, a deceptively huge fight scene. Which I hate writing, but keep writing anyway
let me know what you think.