The kind that forces kids to fight apparently so if i had to wager a guess a republic in name only. Probally more of military junta? If i had to guess on termolgy.
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A republic must defend itself from its enemies least it ends like Eurasia, with whom weāve always been at war, service in the name of the Republic ensures citizenship or are you secretly an enemy of the state that wants to see it fall? Surely not, comrade.
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:: grins :: may thy republic fall when it results to forcing kids to fight a war off the rip for both morally, and various other reasons it has allready failed. Now it is just a question of how far that price will be payed on both sides for there pride and arrogance. An wars do not come about for no reason as well something I say let its leaders lead from the front if they even hope to have a shred of legitimacy.
PS: I am not nor every will be a communist nor a blind follower of any governmental form.
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Tbh I think they should let people buy that contraband magazine. Seeing those vodka prices will make people more loyal to the Republic than any amount of propaganda. Weāll have a hardliner, permanent revolution faction in days.
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Iām actually interested in hearing what sort of republic you thought it was.
I cut out more than 1k words of exposition during editing, and was worried I cut a little too much to give a general vibe.
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Lol hearing that it makes me curious as time what the cut content was and how it might have flowed with what we did get to see.
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Given the presence of banned foreign magazines, I figured it was a Soviet deal. Thereāre other countries that do that, but the nomenclature made me think Soviet specifically.
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Thank you for such a warm reception to Chapter 1.
Chapter 2 has now been released.
[Changelog]
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Added Chapter 2.
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Refined Chapter 1 descriptions, dialogue, and back-end variables.
Note: Because of variable changes, previous saves will no longer work.
Detailed Update Notes
- Some of the cut conversations from Chapter 1 were integrated into Chapter 2 and the Interlude to give a more vivid feel of the world.
- Adjusted terminology to clear up areas readers found confusing, and remove unintended implications.
- Updated post description.
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For those who read the demo to the end, I have some questions that would be helpful to development.
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Was there any point in the story where you felt the pacing was too fast, or confusing?
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Did the students seem consistent with your interactions from chapter 1?
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Who were the standout characters?
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Did anyone ask their cousin for fruit leathers?
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I was confused by the scene shift between when we were loaded on the trucks and when we were talking with ourā¦ cousin, I think? Took me a while to be able to place it on the timeline. I think it only said āafternoonā, so I initially thought it was the following afternoon.
I mean, unless I missed something, which is always possibleā I was cooking at the same time, so I wasnāt fully paying attention.
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My brain isnāt fully braining at the moment lol so will half to play it again to give a better feedback to all the questions.
To the question of the students though it felt consistent to me at least in a intial play through though there wasnt a great deal of interactions thus far but what we have felt right.
To that point and your first feedback question now that I think about it. As to what the previous poster spoke of our interactions with family which is good from what ive seen I knew it was a flashback kinda of scene. Hereās the feed back that you might consider mayhaps have a proper prologue? The chapters feel a bit short and there is opportunity i think for it to be expanded.
You dont half to just a intial thought after playing the update one time an im very much enjoying it and the world your presenting for us.
To our sister i choosed a different option when talking with her but I assume it would be under the ask for snacks option if I recall correctly?
As to the stand out characters they all have in there own ways but I think our squads sergent stood out the most for me even if I cant remeber her name lol
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I think Iād agree on the little family interaction - it didnāt feel 100% clear on when that was happening compared to the rest of the story.
Iād also say that the whole of chapter 2 felt confusing, but not in a bad way! Itās disorienting in a way that feels like it really fits with the story, playing as a young character thatās just been dragged into events they donāt really understand, and personally I think that works quite well.
Iām not sure Iāve spent enough time with the other characters for any of them to really connect yet, other than Ira. Iām not sure whether thatās down to the options I picked, but maybe just a little bit more conversation with them might help? Currently it feels like Ira more directly involved than anyone else, at least with what weāve seen so far.
Really promising though, Iām actually quite excited to see how this develops. 
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I really dig the story so far and Iām very interested to see where it goes.
I thought the pacing was fine for the most part, a little fast if the war and what comes after, like new characters and story beats, is gonna be the focus of the story. Otherwise, like if weāre supposed to be invested in any fellow students that weāve met so far, very fast pacing. I caught that the Afternoon scene was a flashback but you might want to clarify it in the future. Instead of Afternoon put like "Last Summerā or something.
The students seemed fine, there werenāt a lot of choices to really change things up though imo. The story so far feels like it could be the first chapter or a prologue. No character in particular stood out aside from Ira, and thatās just because she had the most screen time, the LT and the Sgt.
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Thank you for the detailed responses, everyone.
It seems a lot of the confusion was caused because I named the interlude āafternoonā, instead of something more intuitive.
Iāll be making changes to clear things up, and make it connect better with the rest of the story.
Thatās correct. The first plot point hasnāt appeared yet, so Iām actually glad the story felt that way.
Iāll have to change the numbering later, once I finish writing.
Thatās very high praise. I wanted the sequence to feel like something youāre walking through half-awake, and Iām glad some of that carried through.
Again, this has been a huge help.
If you have anything else to say about the story, anything at all, please donāt hesitate to leave further comments.
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Iām curious what the overall gameplay/story is going to be like. Different IFs have you affecting different things about the plot. Is it more of a āyou only control the fate of your particular groupā sort of deal or will there be far-reaching consequences for the war?
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The planned scope is closer to the former.
Thereās already many games published and being written that lets you play as a successful commander. Iām trying to deliver a more personal experience.
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Some thoughts:
The game takes place on a colony planet, separate from earth, I believe? I think there could be more worldbuilding. As of now, two chapters later, Iām still not quite clear what kind of nation I represent or who I will likely be fighting against.
I think the colony planet is earth-like? There is a forest, birds and insects, with a shuttle to earth if you have the money, but itās not too clear. As of now, it reads a lot like a military story set on modern day earth.
Other than that, the writing was smooth, and I donāt have any low-level feedback.
Good luck.
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Thank you for the honest feedback.
Do you have any thoughts about the interactive aspects of the story?
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As far as choices go, I think frequency and selection as fine. HG usually encourages you to have at least three choices for every choice, but this is a recommendation and not a requirement.
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