The Space Between Storms
Three years after Scarlett Ashton vanished without explanation, FBI agent Ivy Bennett is forced to work beside her again during a dangerous serial investigation.
Old wounds. Buried feelings. Deadly secrets.
And the terrifying realization that some people can destroy you twice.
Sapphic romance
Enemies to lovers
FBI thriller
Angst
Current Demo: https://cogdemos.ink/go/7689
I’m still very new to ChoiceScript and interactive fiction development, so I’m learning as I go and always open to feedback, suggestions, and advice. English also isn’t my first language, so thank you so much for your patience and support. 
If you’d like to support the project or follow future updates
Ko-fi:https://ko-fi.com/santanaverse
Patreon:https://patreon.com/SantanaVerse?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
https://cogdemos.ink/go/7689
AI Disclosure:
No — This project does not contain the output of Generative AI
Yes — This project contains the output of Generative AI
cover art was made with AI
22 Likes
Ok, played through once. I have some feedback.
The game as of now is quite preset. You have a fixed player character with a fixed RO. Ivy can only be cold and suspicious of Scarlett, and while you mostly get three options, they are mostly different flavors of being standoffish or wary of her.
The premise is interesting, and the writing is technically sound. That said, fixed characters can be a harder sell in this community. Being able to name the player character, or being able to choose how you start out feeling about your partner can help, like whether you can be open, indifferent or cold to her.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Feel free to take or leave anything as you like.
Good luck.
13 Likes
Thank you for your feedback! I will try to look into it in the next update.
3 Likes
I agree a bit with fire, however its also clear you have a story you wish to tell about Ivy and Scarlett. so for now maybe tell your story first, then come back and changes to allow for player/reader change/customization. That being said the choices do seem to read the same its more like its missing the proper emotion behind the response or rather there’s no real acknowledgement, like choosing to admit you still miss it is almost the same as choosing to focus with just a line about feeling humiliation but that it.
of course people are different so maybe its just something i didn,t notice or understand.
And there’s also that fact that your learning choice script so your still testing the waters and figuring things out 
that being said you might want to add a stats page, it doesn’t need to have anything in it maybe just a line saying there are no stats, its just so if someone hits the stats button in the demo it wont just sit there loading nothing.
5 Likes
Love the premise of the story so far! Had an issue trying to set the MC as a woman though.
“Line 257: it is illegal to fall out of a choice statement; you must use goto or finish before the end of the indented block”
I think you can use *fake_choice in replacement and you wouldn’t have to use the goto or finish in the choice blocks. Thought I could be wrong. It’s been a long while since I looked at choice script syntax.
1 Like
yup I dig the story and dont really have a problem with the preset but reading about myself in third person is hard, not a writer so im not sure how to fix but I have faith in you so HOP to it, jk keep up the good work
1 Like
