So far, this is suprisingly good! I liked the setting a great deal, the characters are great and honestly, I’m going to be looking forward to all future updates! I really liked being able to play a cynical, prophecy-rejecting, sarcastic bitch; that’s a lot of fun! RO-wise, I know I’ll be doing at leasttwo playthroughs; definitely for Sek and Cass. Depending on how their characterization continues, Zar seems very interesting as well. I found Tris to be an insufferable, whiny, naive ass (which, I think is perfect for the role of the Chosen One!) Honestly, I’m looking forward to seeing how this one ends up playing out~
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I don’t think they’re official yet. I think the author is still testing the waters to see if it’ll work
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@levviathan To be honest, I also enjoy writing C’s reaction when you get back at them. That person is wizard hubris personified, and poking fun at them can be quite entertaining.
@Azraelle At the moment, I will probably first flesh out the route where you kill T. Because S is a newly added RO, their routes can be quite difficult to integrate. No promises yet, but I will try to sort everything out, er, soonish.
@Trista_JW Finally! Someone who is interested in C and Z! Thank you for liking my story : )
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You’re so cruel redirecting interest to C and Z, the puppy eyed innocent T won’t survive this cruel world with such innocence hero way of thinking and MC is not there to bail them out from their stupid decision.
I mean that was pretty stupid come clean after killing Darren the priest and expect the church to understand, without MC being around they probably already captured or worse.
Could consider poly route T combination with C or Z but or why choose at all straight Harem route if only there is any such plan.
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So far there is no plan for poly route, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be in the future. I’ll probably consider this again after I finished the draft of all of their individual routes : )
And going after C/Z doesn’t mean you will abandon T! There is a friendship route and you can help them along (if you choose to, of course).
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Hi @Rhea_Johnson –
I finished the current demo.
I feel you have a solid core and as the story progressed, your writing became stronger and more sure.
One thing that is often done is switching to first person when presenting your choices. Instead of: “You throw your sword.” the choice becomes: “I throw my sword.”
Wording your choices that way seems to connect to readers better, and frequently this will reinforce the reader’s immersion into your story.
Keep working on your wonderful story. I look forward to more.
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This was one of the best prologues I’ve read, Il definitely keep an eye on this
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Yeah that mute spell really stop MC from giving a heads up. It’s gonna make resisting our so called fate more difficult. I also know none of our companions probably say anything until it’s happened
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This update really did give DC quite a promotion and some personality instead of being typical straight up evil especially since even they were sympathetic towards MC about fighting fate.
It also just showed how out completely outmatched the whole party is even with the typical ultimate evil slaying sword. Finally a game that doesn’t just let everyone stream-roll the main antagonist with such a weapon.
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OMG. This is one of the best things I’ve read in a long time. I’m obsessed! The pacing was really thrilling, the characters had very distinctive voices and personalities, even as they were fulfilling stereotypical roles. The beginning was a bit weird, but only the first bunch of pages, where I felt like the pronouns were all over the place? And it was confusing, but as the story progressed, the lore became clear without need of long paragraphs full of explanations. There were some typos and a few pronouns mistakes but overall it was very-very exciting! Just my cup of tea. It gave me Sousou no Frieren vibes lol I loved that show 
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Are we all aware that we live in the world and if it ends, we end with it? 
So I think it’s either die sooner or later lol
This reminds me of a chess meme I’ve only seen in Spanish about a pawn being excited about being promoted (after reaching the end of the board), only to be ascended to the king’s new queen
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I’m not usually drawn to very high fantasy stories but I was looking for something to do (read: procrastinating from the much more important things I hadn’t done) and decided on a whim to give this story a shot-- and I’m so glad I did so! Absolutely one of the best WIPs I’ve read in a while and now I’d do anything for Tristan 
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What happens to the unborn child of the dark champion if she’s female. Clearly she did not die and unless they kicked her stomach until the unborn child died where are they?
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Miscarriage from stress maybe? I mean her husband did get wacked trying to save her. That’s pretty stressful lol. Hopefully the author shines some light soon.
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I’m so happy to have found this gem, I love the lore, the characters and I like that we are not the chosen one lol
I’m looking forward to read more 
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Maybe the transformation in the DC killed it since the husband triggered when he died so maybe she inadvertently killed while it happened. Again this event just proves that trying to stop something from happening just served as a catalyst to guarantee it to happen
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@Eiwynn Thank you for your kind word! I really appreciate it, and I will take your advice into consideration. One question, however, if I switch to the first person in the choices, will it be confusing for the readers…?
@void_mermaid Thank you! OK, maybe I’ll need to look into the pronouns again… I thought I have caught them all >< If you remember where the errors were, feel free to tell me and I’ll correct them.
@mayaya the Dark Champion right now:
@Leon_Kincoln Oh, that will be revealed as a subplot nearing the end. I can’t say much because it will be spoilers ; )
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Yep the DC definitely feels that way which they didn’t just off the chosen one right now since the MC is a wild card. Time will tell if it was mistake or not.
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The switch to first person for the choice allows the fact that this is their choice to hit home.
Switching back to third person for the choice body then allows the narrative to continue as a whole.
I’ll give you an example of a simple choice I have in my game:
Is this really happening, or is this a dream or even worse a hallucination? With that thought in mind...
*choice
#I pinch myself.
You take your index finger and thumb and pinch a bit of your thigh between them. A twitch of pain lances up and down your leg and you see an irritated bruised mark settle where you pinched yourself.
#I lower my face into my hands and wail.
*set emotional %+ 10
You lower your face into your cupped hands and let out a strangled wail. As your scratchy unused voice fills your ears, you involuntarily flinch and pull back from your hands.
#I shrug and try to wipe as much blood and guts off of me as possible.
*set emotional %- 10
You shrug, accepting that things are what they appear to be and start wiping the blood and guts away from your lap, thighs and legs. Unfortunately, it does little good, the vicious goo clinging to you like glue.
*page_break
So, the choice on how to react is reinforced as the reader’s choice with the consequences of that choice being shown to be part of the narrative (story).
This is the normal standard that is set in CoG stories, so most readers are used to seeing it as well.
If you care to follow up, feel free to dm me.
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I see! Thank you so much for providing an example. I will test it out on a section privately and see if that works !
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