I retract my comment about the title since it worked so well with others! Glad to see my concerns weren’t warranted.
Complete opposite for me, saw the title, wasn’t very interested from that, left, then came back to it a week later because I was bored and had nothing to do, played, loved it, so… Take from that what you will
TBH, if not for the Horror tag it may have taken me a long time to crack this one open. Based on the title, I figured the story would be some kind of fourth wall breaking joke fest and those rarely land well for me. If I weren’t such an IF junkie, I may have never tried it at all.
Titles are a PITA and that’s the truth. I get becoming attached to the working title, if only because you’ve become accustomed to it, but keep mulling it over. With some exceptions, I don’t think your current title appeals to the audience that would most appreciate your story.
If it helps, F. Scott Fitzgerald went through dozens of titles for a certain novel before deciding on Trimalchio in West Egg. His editor hated it, so he reluctantly settled for The Great Gatsby and handed it over. Very shortly thereafter he had a change of heart and wanted it called Under the Red, White, and Blue but it was too late, it had gone to print. The moral of the story being, even the greats agonize over it. It may never feel “perfect”, but you can hope for “good enough”.
Is there any consequences for getting rid of the Juice that CG gives you after you beat those three ranger heroes?
Right now? Not yet, but you’re going to end the game pretty low and that’s probably going to screw you over eventually
make it purple (please)
grape jucie…
I always thought the juice was green. Evil science shit is always green. I could have just glanced over it’s description and missed it. It being like a black sludge would be interesting.
I thought it was dark purple.
The Dime experience.
RE: discussion about the title. I appreciate people’s thoughts! It’s interesting to see the varying perspectives on the impressions the title gives and how it’s been a barrier to entry for some. It’s also a valid point that being married to a title isn’t always the best thing to be.
I dunno, I’m trying to remain open minded and having my brain still tuned to possible ideas/inspo, but all the concepts I come up with feel clunky and/or generic (or are too unindicative of the story)
Sujan_Dhakal is correct but I’ll mention that parts of the next (WIP) chapter are significantly different if you ran out of Juice in the Zone and don’t have the vial.
The Juice is purple! My lovely wife made orange juice for the small ttrpg she’s planning.
Writing Update
CH7 is moving at a steady clip! We’re about 16k words in. Unfortunately I fell down a rabbit hole and accidentally fleshed out some intended-to-be-short interactions more than I planned and they wound up being more work. Where have we heard that before? - the good news is that these feel like actual hangouts now so if you’ve been jonesing for more chances to just Interact, these are there. (also ft. perhaps my favourite genre of hangout choice, Dime berating themself over how stupid it is to call Alistair, then doing it anyway)
Not sure what pace I’m on for a new build: my original framework for CH7 was kinda barebones and now that I’ve sketched it out properly it’s definitely got a good bit more stuff. (as in, maybe a thousand words of what I’ve written involves the scene I originally had in mind). As always, split-chapter updates aren’t off the table but in this instance I don’t know that I want to do that: too much of the word count is in branches. For example, there are five different versions of the opening scene, one per teammate, and it’s not directly contingent on a specific choice, it’s determined based on your highest relationship, so it wouldn’t be easy to switch back and forth to see all the Stuff. So… yeah. Wanna make sure any update feels substantial to play!
I shall leave off with this:
Do the watch dogs have a healer on their team because I remember bashing in one of surpasses eyes, or does she naturally heal
So anyone else find it ironic that a group of villains is called “Altruists”?
Gonna go out on a limb here and guess that the group is more “rebels” then villains.
Just to put myself in our glorious leader’s shoes… If I was a hero with a grudge who was going against a government agency and anticipated casualties, I would use expendable footsoldiers as my pawns, people that it wouldn’t really bother me if they died or were captured. Villains, or aspiring villains, since they would be easier to mold and I could at least try to curb their darker impulses.
Taking the outlaw path would also open up my options for acting against the existing power structure, and I would be able to acquire funds for my ventures more easily. It would also help to keep me off the grid, making it harder for my enemy to act against me.
Though I somewhat expect that Dion has his roots in whatever that facility was we explored inside “The Zone”.
My impression of the title was.
Hmmm. I’m not sure I would be interested in being the villain. However, the statement the way it’s made is, am I forced to? I believe we are being forced to drink some juice to be villains. Gotta find out if that is what I thought.
It aligned to what I expected.
Maybe it’s the way I read it? Exclamation does make it sound one way versus a period or question mark. Changing lines with just! Makes a difference on reading it. Hence it ended up as I expected, forced villiany. I wasn’t sure until I read though.
Edit and yes reread my post! Im not that happy! Enjoy the wonderful world of exclamations being different as well! I think I will just be on my way now.
I kind of read the title as “you made your (villain) bed and now you have to lie in it”.
Not to belabor the conversation on this (I know it’s been off and on for a while), but my first impression of the title was more “this will be a zany homage to superheroes and comics” and something that won’t take itself too seriously. That kept me away from this for a while because I just wasn’t feeling that at the time.
I got a much clearer impression from the conversation that was happening around the game, which is what eventually inspired me to give it a try. While this project does have a sense of humor, I’d say that humor feels very much the opposite of “zany” (something I am grateful for, because I love this as it is).
At the start, since he called my MC little brother. I thought he was someone in the same position as me but that had been there longer (long enough to be emotionally maladjusted while interacting with a fellow captive.) I would’ve found the idea of future camaraderie more compelling but since he’s higher up blaming us for his own failure. I want him gone.
The MC is really going through it, huh?
A harsh but fair punishment for the unforgivable crime of being a YouTuber.
crime: clickbait
punishment: main character in an angst if