You were the most powerful healer in the realm. Until you lost everything. power, home, yourself. You watched it all fade away as your memories got lost with them. What will you do in a world where you have nothing left?
Where do I belong is a fantasy game about loss, people, dreams, death.
Welp I tried my best with the intro, I’ll surely change it after I get a hang of how things work around here (And especially when it comes to writing). Anyways, this is my first english work and I would love to hear your feedback ^^
DEMO LINK: https://dashingdon.com/play/packo/where-do-i-belong-/mygame/
That was an interesting read. I’d like to see where you take this
It’s a bit short to really get a feel, but at least conceptually it’s off to an interesting start. Only feedback I would give for now is that you have some areas that are gender awkward. An example would be, I don’t know if you intend for there to be romance in your story or not, unless you’re defaulting the MC to be attracted to women, statements saying the MC would be attractive to women would not really be a thought to characters who are attracted to men. Or for an MC that isn’t interested in that sort of thing to begin with. Just something to keep in mind as you move forward. Good luck!
I agree, I wasn’t comfortable with that girl.
@Packo found this:
Dream line 98: increasing indent not allowed, expected 2 was 3
Same for the dyed hair color choice…
This feels wrong and odd, why would any woman fall for her? It could also be any man to any person… Also we didn’t even get to chose MC’s sexuality to say that any woman or man would fall for her…
I have the same error. It’s for white hair.
Thanks for the feedback. I’ll change that if you’re female any man would fall for you. That’s because the MC’s personality before the incident still remained, at least to some extend. As time goes on, MC will change, for the better or worse and that’ll include their sexuality. I hope this clears things up! (And if I don’t pull that off I’ll simply let you choose sexuality at the beginning).
Why would it need to change as time goes on? Are you not already an adult at the start of the game? It makes a lot more sense to choose it at the beginning. Or is exploration of your sexuality a part of the game’s plot?
Wouldn’t making it any person easier and better for both male and female characters?!? Just a suggestion…
I mean, MC has no memories and some of the personality is usually formed or molded from our memories snd past events
What does sexuality have to do with personality…? That doesn’t make sense.
As time goes on the MC will change, including their sexuality?
That’s not something that changes. I’d be careful approaching that one. Sexuality doesn’t change based on memories or personality. And approaching it like it’s changeable is going to open a very rough and troublesome can of worms.
Unless you’re trying to establish some sort of “past life” scenario, but that isn’t going to come across unless MC is a whole new person. But it feels like it’s just a “factory reset” on a character, just a memory wipe. Not a whole new system.
You guys do have a valid point, thanks a lot for feedback, I’ll add an option for sexuality somewhere
I wasn’t talking 'bout sexuality, I was talking 'bout why personality might change if or when lost memories…
My bad if I didn’t understood your intended question or if I confused with my comment…