I’m pretty sure the second one is when you don’t even try to escape.
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Excited to continue following the story of the two biggest liars in Egypt~ Lots of great moments with Qenna this chapter, plus the depression and Pihu conversations hit hard. I’m joining the Pihu fan club lol, she can be as obnoxious as she wants as long as she’s also looking out for her little sibling lol.
On the other hand, the more I get to know Narmer, the less interested in him I become. Probably doesn’t help that the unwritten choices meant my MC was acting out of character, so I think I’ll give it one more try when the chapter is finished before dropping his route.
Typos/etc:
though
let
are
let loose?
the edge
threw them/had just taken them and thrown them
extra ‘in’
that
pummeling?
coursing
Noble path, pretty sure I chose that we succeeded at Giza in the skip menu. I think there was a later passage that correctly referenced having two crystals.
them
was
Ahmose pronoun error
is training equipment
Lololol at him okaying this. I’m starting to think we have TWO insane Narmers now 
at
himself
less dense
led
of you
maid?
full?
do you
was
extra "
spirit
extra ‘been’
missing end quote
backs
have we met (loling at this conversation. Thank god for chatty villains)
Is there any difference between getting closer or watching? My noble could only watch, but my captain had 3 choices and I got closer. The only difference I noticed was some veteran flavor text.
you croak eventually
this is
Petmes’s
with common sense
out of place quote mark
Tabiry’s advice feels a bit out of place for a combat-focused MC. Considering we led the first half of the exercise, feels weird to say we “start” to get the hang of it.
Hmmm, not sure if this is necessarily wrong, but I think ‘guts’ here is more synonymous with ‘bravery’. I think ‘nerve/gall/audacity’ would fit better.
Narmer
I think stumble/help should have the same tense. stumbling/helping or stumbled/helped
Narmer pronoun error
Probably due to the scene being unfinished, but I got this as a captain on Narmer’s route
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Re-read the noble route and seeing Pihu flinch when he puts his big hand on her back suddenly makes so much sense. Now I want to know why she’s dislikes spirits, and feel so icy more sympathetic about her. I really like her character.
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I see what you mean and I did think about that for a while. I have a hard time balancing out the different MC backgrounds, plus 9 different characters, 7 romance/friendship routes, and the different paths in the story, so unfortunately, I simply don’t have time or energy to add any more stat variations. I hope that’s not too disappointing, but sadly, I’m just one person, and I really rather would like to concentrate on the story instead :)))
1: belongs to thief. You have to evade capture in the beginning as long as you can, until Zaia finds you in the swamp.
2: thief again. Don’t escape prison.
3: you have to kill your priest in the first chapter.
4: belongs to captain. You have to find the thief but don’t arrest her. Later in the evening, give her the necklace with Zaia.
5: captain again. Arrest thief, don’t resist Pihu, and simply go home without helping the thief.
The hidden achievements are tied to each other. So you have to get the first one to be able to get the second later. They are both tied to Qenna and a priest MC. You basically have to make Qenna lose their shit, once in the first chapter, and then again in Abydos.
12 Likes
Wow! That was amazing. I was obsessed with Egyptian setting in my childhood and reading all these descriptions and adventure gave me pure joy. And every ro option is so good! I’m currently on chapter on the “choosing ro path” page, and cannot choose anyone exept my sister. I’m playing the noble route and my mc is the youngest. And my relationship stat is not even the best with her. Is it how it should be?
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well it depends on if you’ve been trying to romance anyone. for example, if you’d chosen the flirty/romance options with ahmose, you’d be able to pick them in that page. keep in mind though that since you’re playing the mc as the youngest they can possibly be, some ROs like Narmer cannot be romanced!
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I usually click on both Zaia and Qenna when I have a chance. Going to try stick with one. Thank you for the advice~~
Also, for the author, I cannot stress enough how much I love the writing. It’s so vivid and juicy. So immersive.
3 Likes
Wanted to mention some inconsistency~~
Spoiler
(youngest mc, female, pinning on Qenna)
On the boat to Memphis there’s a choice to approach him, in which he asks mc “d’you know how old I am?”, starts ageing and tells you that he’s 52. Same playthrough, probably fourth chapter. On the way to the brewery Qenna tells mc about him attending school and horsing around in Memphis, and that it was 4 decades ago. Mc is very confused:
<Four decades ago. He went to school in Avaris four decades ago. That makes him… That makes him at least older than forty. Nearly fifty, maybe, because obviously he wasn’t a baby when he started school.
So Qenna is older than Narmer. Years older than Narmer. You thought he was younger. He looks younger! How the fuck does he do that?>
And there’s an option to ask how old is he.
I wanted to attach a screenshot, but no. Sorry, if it was mentioned already.
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Thanks! I’ll fix that. I thought it was already coded in, but apparently it wasn’t 
Can you blur out these details though? Because this is quite a big spoiler, thanks.
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I’m a little bit dumb with formatting. Hope it’s done.
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Perfect, thank you!
1 Like
Another… something.
Spoiler
I do not know if the following thing is worth mentioning, as the chapter is currently huge “work in progress” 
(noble/female/both Qenna & Zaia routes)
On the top of the pyramid in Giza while Qenna/Zaia deals with the apprentice the mc getting a crystal. Then the apprentice attacks mc. I use magic, but it’s not enough so the apprentice gets the crystal back.
<It makes him budge, but he groans and punches you under the ribs. You cough out a wheeze of pain, and in that split second, he wrestles the crystal out of your hand.>
But after Qenna is released after his Narmer ordeal and Petmos is present, theres an option to ask him about crystals. Apparently the crystal is magically appears in mc’s possession.
<“What will happen to the rystal now?”
Petmes turns to you. “You’ have to keep it safe for now. Did you get both of them?”
You reach into the small pouch under the fold of your tunic, and pull out the massive gemstone. It fits neatly in your palm, although the strangely precise shape still fills you with an uneasy sensation.>
2 Likes
I got into the story yesterday morning, now it’s evening, and I absolutely cannot get it out of my head. I even got myself Tumblr 
and already scrolled through the art 
The heap of spoilers
For the most part, I play self-inserts, so the first playthrough was no different. I chose the answers that made sense to me (not with any ros in mind). Like:
- flirting with the pharaoh (because once is not a crime)
- chosing crying Pihu in the tavern, when Qenna blew up the mugs (I was interested in Zaia, but comforting your sister feels more reasonable than to go and investigate dudes)
- checking on retching Tabiry on the boat…
- helping Tabiry with stuff, while Petmos intimidating the wall (instead of stalking Zaia г)
By doing so, I closed all the routes except sistership. Which was a huge surprise. Now I understand that Narmer and Qenna are closed for the youngest mc, also you cannot romance your sister. And I hadn’t sufficient interactions with both Tabiry & Ahmose. But why was Zaia closed? On subsequent playthroughs, I always stuck with the chosen ro. If there was any action with Qenna/Zaia I clicked on it (in different playthroughs, of course/& with an older mc for Qenna). Is this the way, or am I doing something wrong? Is there a way to have more options available on the “route page” besides chosen ro and Pihu? (all my playthroughs were with a noble mc, if it’s relevant)
The bottom part is excruciatingly long.
The shit of spoilery text
• The first thing I did getting into the story was read the warnings. It promised nsfw, and I was delighted. Give me gore and an emotional roller coaster ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و 
The opening for the noble mc in contrast is so lively. It was genuinely fun and reminded me of Indiana Johnes adventures or d&d campaign. I liked that. Overall mix of jokes, gore and some teary oceans in writing was magnificent.
• In subsequent playthroughs, by skipping the already read pages, I noticed that the story has fewer available choices between pure text pages. Surprisingly, though, it didn’t bother me in the slightest. The story is very engaging in itself, I guess.
• I loved the amount of the names available and the separation for u/m/f! I’m not the one with good imagination. Named mine Hennu, which apparently is the name of Memphis god’s boat~~
• The scene with Pihu in the slums is so intense! I was really worried, because “no, I don’t want any problems with the sister in tow”. Keeping warnings in mind, I really expected being mugged or stabbed. Especially after trying to get out of there twice ㅋㅋ Overall Qennu introduction is my favourite. His hands was pulling me towards his route (˶’ ꒳ '˶) (until I met the lightning guy, that is). I was so worried looking for guards. Even abandoned Pihu with the guard. His warning was effective. I know that the point of a game (or any fiction) is for something to happen. But still feel tense in moments like this, wanting for something bad not to happen - which is good, love the feeling♡
• I wanted to clarify something. Going to the training grounds after the festival and meeting your brother, someone asks if mc has a job - which mc apparently has, but not “a proper one”. What job is it?
• The scene when the pharaoh calles for mc and we are in the dark! Love that. I was very suspicious about the new attire, and not knowing who requested the meeting. Also, being unaware about the spell purpose (I believed mc to be a tickling bomb), I anticipated whoever requested the meeting to order mc to kill her father or something. And then meeting glorious Narmer. That was (•̪ o •̪)
• Curiosity #another~~ After meeting the pharaoh, mc tells Qenna to check up with servants about her neck cut. I do not recall any resolution, though hopped Qenna’s spy mind would magically discover what those bustards did to mc. So, did he checked with them? Or is it just the flavour?
Also, before getting on the boat to Memphis, Tabiry asks mc why Pihu wanted to come, and the answer is “Someone might be forcing her”. Did Tabiry investigate behind the curtains or tell somebody?
• I also loved the moment we learn that Qenna sent Ebo to check on us on the roof long after it happens, and only if we go with Qenna’s route.
• I did Zaia first. And the snake scene! (⸝⸝⸝>﹏<⸝⸝⸝) I squealed in delight. That was 
Overall, though emotionally I like Qenna’s route more; but on Zaia’s route you get Qenna as your kind of bodygard bro, and I love that. 1.5 for the price of one!
• Petmes. I’m fascinated by him! Such an enigmatic character. What is his origin? He uses modern scientific terminology, but from the past. Is there some time travel involved? Or is he from Atlantis or something? Or an alien, whose colonisation efforts got awry? He already had an apprentice, I want to be another. I need immortality to live long ever after with the ghost and demon boys. Are gods real? Or is it some kind of scientific phenomenon? Is it techno-magical realm? He’s friends with the demon. Is he not a demon at all, but something else?
• How the fk did Pihu got a crystal ㅇㅡㅇ another mystery >⩊<
• At the market, you have an opportunity to buy a present for your father. I did! Would we be able to give it to him somehow in the future? I really like him, good character♡ I also bought the scroll with an energy spell. And it fitted both Qenna and Zaia. Liked that detail.
• “I came to spy on you.” - love it. Spy on the spy and all. Also, “The Light of Aton is scarce in the dusk but shines so bright when she is near.” - that’s hell of a sweet, I’ve got a toothache ₍₍⚞(˶˃ ꒳ ˂˶)⚟⁾⁾ I like to think it’s about mc~~ but might be wistful thinking, as the youngest mc also gets this quote.
• After witnessing the quarrel between Narmer and his wife, I chose “uncomfortable/not my business”. But subsequent thoughts of the mc felt like she cared too much and was debating whose fault it was, Narmer’s or his wife’s. This phrase confused me: "Should you give him the benefit of the doubt?". Like: was he in his right to treat her like he did, or is she right, and Narmer should be put down like a mad dog? It felt to me like my mc was having these thoughts. Though to me, it was obvious how bitchy she was from their dialogue.
And when we camp near a giant head, and the girls go for a bath, Tabiry asks the mc:
<“Why were you so upset the other day when Narmer… I mean, I suspect why he was upset, but…? What happened? Are you alright?”>
But it feels like a stretch, because she wasn’t so upset. It just wasn’t her business. English is also not my native tongue, so maybe I just don’t get it.
There are a lot of other thoughts occupying my mind, but it’s already too long.
4 Likes
To unlock a romance route, you need at least 2 -points with your chosen character.
I mean these heart choices:
The sister is the friendship route, which is always open. It’s possible to unlock more than one romance routes, but you can still only choose one that will lock you in for the rest of the story. You can spend the first two chapters getting to know the characters, but you definitely should start to spend more time with your chosen RO in chapter 3 and 4. Once you lock in with a character, the text will automatically imply that you two have some feelings already building, so if you haven’t spent enough romantic time with them beforehand, the text wouldn’t make sense. Hence the pre-requisite for 2+ romance points. You can check the number of times you’ve flirted on the Stats screen under Relationships. Zaia and Tabiry are open for an MC of any age.
Petmes can explain magic through his science. But only because he’s very old and has seen many things in the past. For everyone else, including MC, it’s just magic and gods. But to an Ancient Egyptian, computers would also look magical, so there is no Big Truth in this universe, just a matter of very different perspectives. Maybe it’s simply magic and Petmes is just a crazy old man trying to explain it the only way that makes sense for him. Or maybe Petmes is from a more advanced civilization and magic is just very specific science that’s been slowly dying out. I don’t want to give a simple explanation for it haha so you are free to build your theories.
Thanks! That’s good feedback, I will add more variations there.
6 Likes
Did the game was updated? All my saves vanished ㅜㅜ
smol typos
Chapter 1; on the way to the mysterious meeting
Four imperial guards join you on the corridor, no doubt here on your father’s orders, and they take up a probably very defendable position around you, except you know nearly nothing about those, so you can only guess their purpose.
>in
Chapter 2; after meeting the pharaoh
Your father is also the one insisting to spread it at every possible occasion, to hammer it in in these early years of the new Dynasty, especially since Egyptian independence has only been gained around a decade ago.
>in
Chapter ; 2 peasants and the bridge, Ebo offered to look around
Narmer sighs and his shoulders. “Do that. We will wait at the road.”
>something seems to be missing
Have a plenty!~~ also like 75% convinced it has something to do with Atlantisesque civilization. And our mc as well: the homey feeling she has near him, and the strange place she visits on Zaia’s route ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎
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That might be my fault. I just did an update on cogdemos.
But, before I take that credit, please make sure you are trying to load your “local” saves. The save system now defaults to indexedDB. See below:
Before tonight, all non-server saves were local. So they may still be there if you choose local.
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Feel low key stupid now ㅋㅋ everything is there! Thank you~~
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Well, I found some more~~
Chapter 4
Pihu, Kajet, mc fell in the pyramid
You didn’t know she was afraid of the dark. Or of spooky underground mazes.
>dark or
“There are a lot of them. Can’t be Narmer and the others,” Kajet mumbles, keeping her eyes on the island in the distance.
>his (Kajet is he)
I know that the fifth chapter is in active development, but hope these’d be useful.
Chapter 5
the demon gets loose
The horses scream in terror and dash away, leaving their mad riders behind or dragging them with them, half-hanging from the saddles.
>neigh (horses can’t quite scream)
You find a few, scared horses at edge of the northern compound of the necropolis where they were trying to hide in an alley behind a warehouse.
>few scared
>necropolis, where
come back to the pyramid to retrieve Qenna
When you finally turn onto the main avenue that leads to the Khufu pyramid, you are hit in the face by the root of the horrible stench and you nearly retch.
>core (just a suggestion)
>stench, and
Qenna’s in the dungeon
Well, either for the screams to become so bad that Narmer has no other choice but give Qenna the mercy kill, or… For finally to hear his own voice and nothing else in the cell.
>to finally hear
training session before the oasis
The fog seems to emanate from ahead of you. You take a wild guess that Qenna him self is the source.
>himself
in the house of the creepy family
Which is a lie, of course, because when the main and the matron of the household appear in the door with full trays of food, you are the first to stand up to sit at the table.
>main what? maybe maid?
mc’s looking for the mules
It must be from the heat of the day that got preserved in the earth, and now with the cold desert air and the river humidity in the air, it simply turns the misty rain into an impenetrable fog the obscures both view and sound.
>that
••••••••
(sistership, female, noble, the youngest)
Don’t know if it’s worth mentioning. My mc goes for the mules; the guy is at the stables; she tried to explain that we’re not criminals - he doesn’t care; she knocks him out (magic) and ties with a rope. Right after that (on the next page) a bleeding wound appears on the mc’s hand. Read a couple of times, but couldn’t find how she got it.
<With your throbbing, bleeding hand, it’s excruciatingly slow to get the mules ready for the road. Your hand keeps slipping on the leashes, the bags cut into the already painful gash, and you are sweaty, panting, and lightheaded by the time you finish the hasty packing.>
The following seems not important, but I still noticed. I know the youngest mc cannot romance Narmer. Just felt strange that the note dissappears on the seemingly random page.
Spoiler
(female; noble; male/both attraction; the youngest)
I clicked on both white hearts when they first appeared for Narmer and Zaia, and I’ve got “You showed your attraction to him 1 times so far.” - as one should. The Narmer’s note dissappears on the following page:
<“Sleeping on a ship is a lot stranger than you expected. The gentle rocking of the boat and the quiet sound of the waves certainly serve as a lullaby, but there are too many people around you, and even though most of them are asleep, you are acutely aware of the ones that aren’t.”>
(weather you click on the heart for Tabiry or not)
The other characters’ (Zaia, Ahmose, Tabiry) notes stay until the end of the demo (whether you romance someone or go sister route).
2 Likes
I’m not going to lie this feels like I’m playing a text based dragon age game, and instead of Thedas and the Evanuris it’s Egypt and Egyptian gods. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed what I’ve read so far and am eager for what you plan on adding next
7 Likes
I only just started, but this –
Petmes slightly narrows his eyes with an entirely too smug expression in the direction where Qenna has disappeared in, then he looks at you. “Do you know what brainwaves are?”
You know that weird jelly-like organ that is in people’s heads because you sometimes see them in jars around the embalmers’ places. You imagine a big wave, made of lots of disgusting, slimy brains. Then you imagine a single brain, riding a normal wave on a tiny boat made of reed. You don’t think either of these are the answer Petmes is looking for.
– is one of my favorite paragraphs now. 
User above is thinking about Dragon Age Origins, and for me Petmes is very Old World Blues energy. 
8 Likes