It should have a chilling effect on any N romancers. Make them take a step back as question what they think and feel and want.
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Yes, exactly. Thatâs actually what I was trying to achieve with that scene.
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Yeah, something in the direction of what DreamingGames said. The MCs in the game already have some built-in characterization, so as long as the thought process is commented on I can incorporate it into the conception of my character (though I realize this is a bit of a balance to strike between also letting players influence the characters).Youâve stated the story is not entirely historically accurate, so I think emphasizing the areas where it is would be fine especially when Narmer has gone out of his way to present himself as just-a-guy/hide his identity from MC.
I think interrupting the shock of the captain with such a thought would be fine. To me it seems to really drag on for a loooong time while Narmer gives his villain monologue.
Maybe poor wording on my part. I meant consider her a participant in the fight. MC has the option to pity and fuss over Narmer, but iirc the most they think about Nefru is âHuh. No bruise.â
Edit: thatâs also a helpful clarification on Nefruâs standing. When it was described Narmer did not make her queen I was imagining her as keeping whatever standing she had prior to marriage and that her posturing was just, well, posturing.
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Thatâs where my problem lies and why Iâm not sure how to do this. Because the MC is an Ancient Egyptian. This is something thatâs obvious to them, so I donât think they would actively think about it, just like if a modern character sees a hot stove, the narration wouldnât have them think âhm, I shouldnât touch that for sureâ. Maybe the thought to be careful would fleetingly cross their mind if they burned themselves before. But having the book point it out that they shouldnât touch a hot stove would be pretty weird.
Maybe I could have the characters remember some other incident in the past where they had to shut their mouth and ears and act like they werenât there at all⌠
So, yeah, Iâm not sure how to do this yet. I could include some more comments earlier in the game about the etiquette with royalty or something, or have them talk or think about these rules because of some other unrelated reason. I dunno.
But anyway, yeah, Iâm going to consider this, edit that scene later (laaaaaater later) and see what I can do to get this point across without having to spoon-feed or infodump it.
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MC: about to knock on door
MC: flashbacks to the last time a pharaoh executed someone over a social slight
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This would likely be easiest done using established characteristics and circumstances and already mentioned âmissingâ* characters. With the noble it could be something to do with the mother, with the priestess something to do with the father, with the guard something with the grandfather and with the thiefâŚwell, theyâd be most flexible of all, perhaps something with that grandfather as well, particularly since he worked for Qenna.
*from the narrative.
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Me: I can fix him.
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Yes, this, same here. In fact to me she kind of came off as: âIâm supposedly having a private conversation but really Iâm making a scene about how much of the pharaohâs wife I am because otherwise nobody realizes I am the pharaohâs wife and then I have nothing going for me.â
So yeah, I thought she was kinda a nobody who was trying to make herself seem more important then she is.
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Itâs both. Inside the royal family, she has the lowest status because she has no rank. Narmer avoids her in public (and in private too). But she is still a royal because she is married to the pharaoh and she is the mother of his kid. So she was posturing and trying to seem more important than she is, but she is still a member of the royal family, so technically, she was following the rules, she was just being a d*ck about it.
And also, like, Ahmose and Narmer could totally do the same and ignore everyone else around them⌠They have more basis for it too. Itâs just that they donât want to seem like assholes with their friends. Unlike some 
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Kind of enjoying playing a slightly older and more serious thief, but the insta best friend is really not a great fit for playing thief that way. He feels too forcibly irreverent. I keep wanting to ask him which of us heâs trying to convince heâs fun/ny.
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Ooh, that would actually be a really useful playthrough for me! I need to make different variations in the text for when someone isnât getting along with the companion thatâs gonna be coming. There are already some choices that let you choose more negative feelings towards them but I havenât read through those paths at all yet to check how they fit. They are probably not a good fit at the moment because I tend to write the more positive paths first, but if there are scenes where you want more standoffish answers or choices, let me know.
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Itâs not that I want responses to be more negative per se, itâs just that I fell some more serious character playthroughs maybe warrant some interior thoughts along the lines of âwhy/how can he be so unseriousâ or âam I just getting worn downâ or âI know heâs trying to cheer me up, butâŚâ You know how it feels when someone seems out of step with the situation, but youâre not certain if itâs actually them or if youâre overreacting? Those kind of internal feelings. I guess I think I feel a more serious thief should feel some self doubt. I didnât make her much older, but after the bit with the little sister (I hadnât actually played the thief in some time, as it was my least favourite path) I felt that a more serious take could work quite wellâŚbut having her still be a teen didnât feel like it worked quite as well with that age selection.
Might have to be a hidden stat measuring how often you choose the most sober/serious responses, though. Iâm not sure how the mechanics of pathing something like that out would actually work.
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Hmm I think it could still be tied to a lower friendship stat. You will never be âenemiesâ with the companion, but if you have a lower friendship, I think I can implement flavor text in places where your character, especially in regards to Sesi, could think stuff like âoh gods canât he behave JUST ONCEâ and âwhy is he like this? was he always like this or am I losing patience faster?â and stuff like that. So the relationship probably wonât ever be antagonistic per se, but itâs like having a friendship from childhood that you simply⌠grew out of.
It will be quite similar with Hudjefa (priestâs companion).
And I think the relationship with Pihu and captain mom will have more of a negative flavor because those two have lot bigger problems and can be more volatile.
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Hello, I noticed a slight error on the guard route in chapter 2. I asked Zaia the guard route only question when we were in the garden and then took pity on them, but then I thanked them twice for answering my question(s)
sorry if this isnât where errors go but Iâm really enjoying immersing myself in each storyline. Keep up the good work 
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Thank you, this is absolutely where errors should be reported 
Iâll take a look at it in a moment.
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I just finished my first run! Played a noble MC, originally was going to romance Narmer until Ahmose showed up, then I went with her for a few reasons:
1.) The Argument scene.
I actually donât have a problem with the scene as written, but my character was very much frightened and disturbed by it. And I think it makes sense: his easy going nature belied the fact that he was a war leader who had to do violent things, and actions towards his spouse (?) scared my MC. Which is actually fine with me as a player, I like the idea of my character finding him compelling only to be frightened off. Plus, I imagined I couldnât flirt with both Narmer and his kid forever and would have to choose between them so⌠(a dialogue acknowledging that would be hilarious tho).
2.) I found Ahmose super compelling â I picked her as a princess, and I liked the way her insouciance coupled with her sheltered nature. She was rebellious but very much still a kingâs daughter. I thought she was well-written and she might be my favorite in the group. I feel like thereâs a lot more to her than first glance â she seems like sheâs got few inhibitions but sheâs shy about physical intimacy. She seems like sheâs wild, but sheâs also a bit spoiled. She seems irresponsible but she has scrolls on important subject for governance in her room.
(On that subject â did you mean to write âpolitical treatiesâ or rather âpolitical treatisesâ for the texts she was studying?).
Now to decide if I try the other routes and romances (curious about thief with medjay romance, to see how they interact together).
Also, a couple of questions;
I. What are the age restrictions for romance? (Edit: never mind, found the answer on tumblr 
)
II. In my run I never ran into a body customization option, which was my only personal description left blank at the end of the run. By design, or did I miss something?
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Just a guess on my part but I assume itâs something we will be picking in a later chapter.
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Found the error! I apparently canât do basic math in the code. Iâll fix it in the next update
Thanks for the feedback! ^^ I would actually like to know how the text reads for a scared MC after the argument, so throughout Ch4, because I havenât gone through a playthrough like that yet. I put some flavor text for it, but if you think there are situations with Narmer that your MC would rather cut short or have some more comments on it, let me know.
I may be misremembering, but I think if you go to meet up with Ahmose in Abydos in the pool, they will comment something if you have flirted with Narmer before.
Uuuuh⌠Political treaty in plural. I donât even know what âtreatisesâ means 
Lol English isnât my first language, sorry. But yeah, Ahmose was studying political alliances. (Thatâs what treaty means, right?)
I hope they are fairly obvious once you are in the game There is extra content for Narmer and Qenna in the case of a young MC, so I wanted to leave the warning vague and just let players read and find out what happens if they try to go for it. And Ahmose on basic cannot be romanced by a 30+ character for obvious reasons.
@Moirin is right and there simply wasnât a choice for it yet. Iâm not sure if there will be, I just put it there in case I can incorporate it in the text, but if it doesnât become relevant in any way, Iâll just get rid of it later.
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I started but didnât finish my second run as thief⌠I had no idea how fun and hilarious it would be playing the thief character! The family is delightful, the chastisement you get from them is incredible, and their reactions to everything that happened is great. Plus the random asides from the thief MC as they go through various situations (like wishing they could steal the city gates of Memphis, LOL) was great. But the reason that I am going to start over is that I was intending to romance Tabiry, but I actually found Narmer incredibly charming and hilarious on my thief character. Itâs funny, bc my noble was scared and pushed away by him but the vibes felt totally different for the thief. So I might actually try to romance him as a thiefâŚ
Iâm playing to replay my noble MC (which will still be my main canon MC) soon so Iâll definitely pay attention to that scene and let you know where I think there should be content for a scared MC after the argument. I plan to make a couple changes to my character anyway to RP them better, so this would be a good opportunity for that.
Yes! There definitely was â and it was a great comment, Ahmoseâs reaction felt very realistic. I was thinking more specifically her reaction if youâre romancing both of them at the same time before the chapter 4 lock-in moment, as Iâm not sure if Ahmoseâs comment is meant for if youâre romancing both? Iâve only played the route of romancing them both once so Iâm not sure of the variations.
Yes exactly, a treaty is an international agreement between two nations (and as you know, the treaty after the Battle of Kadesh is the oldest treaty we still have, so itâs definitely cool to see some treaty texts in the game even if weâre in an earlier time period than the NK).
A treatise is like an informative text analyzing a subject, so a political treatise would be a text some scholar wrote about politics. But it sounds like you definitely meant treaties as in agreements between nations, so itâs all good!
Anyway, I loved that bit of characterization. Ahmoseâs room is messy and disorganized, yes, but it shows she takes her duties seriously. I like it especially for female Ahmose bc I guess male Ahmose is definitely the heir, but female Ahmose has male relatives who are also in line â but sheâs still putting in the work! I like that.
Yeah, it completely made sense once I got a little further. On my first run, I had no idea how old Qenna was (we didnât get that hint about her face under her hood yet) so it wasnât clear to me at the time who the 2 romances Iâd lose for picking the youngest age were even though that was the age I was intending to use. Once I learned more about the characters and met Narmer, the age restrictions for the teenage MC and the 30+ MC made complete sense.
When I redo my noble run, I am going to go with the teenage MC because I was generally playing my MC as a mischievious noble brat who was also in over their head and very easily scared by a lot of things (with very little âreal worldâ experience as a sheltered noble, naturally). Since I plan to romance Ahmose with the noble and will be saving Narmer for my thief MC, this works perfectly.
Whew, glad I didnât miss anything. It might be fun if you find a way to incorporate it, but fair enough about if it isnât relevant. I do love how much the other customization bits play a role in how we characterize our characters (esp. how our hair interacts with the hot Egyptian climate).
Okay this post is long enough so Iâll stop now â I was going to ask some questions about the architecture of Thebes and Memphis since I found the descriptions of the cities super interesting (and was recently in Egypt!) but Iâll save that for laterâŚ
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Help!!!
Maybe Iâm just playing wrong, but Iâm having trouble upping my mercy stat in the noble route a little but priestess route especiallyâŚ
Also im a little confused on Why Egypt is running out of magic? Like canât permed concentrate? Why canât he keep them safe forever after they get them back
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