I really like how you put the images for the cast in the bio. I especially love MC’s look and that they’re a writer! I don’t find any character attractive or all that likable, even the one meant to be attractive like Carlton. I just kept imagining a himbo with a crop hoodie and a jaw made of glass? But it adds to the drama of the story. I do hate Madison, which I think is what you were going for and I’m happy with that, cause she reminds me of an ex friend.
Maybe you can let MC get the last word in sometimes if their Firebrand stat is high enough?
Love the story so far, I can’t wait to see where you are going with this!
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Hey hey, thanks for making this your first post! Welcome to the community!
I’m glad you like the photos and that MC’s a writer. I knew I had to justify why someone would write down these bios about their friends and whatnot lol
It’s totally fine if you find no one attractive, and it’s also fine if you don’t like any of them either! If I can get people to both like and dislike my characters, I consider them successful characters. 
I definitely am going for making sure everyone hates Madison, but don’t be afraid to like her either. 
Do you feel that the MC doesn’t get the last word enough? I can look into that.
Thanks for your lovely compliments and your feedback!
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Why does the demo link give the Bring Us To Washington demo?
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I accidentally uploaded the wrong startup file. I’ll fix this later today. Sorry! 
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EDIT: that’s because I uploaded the wrong startup. I’ll fix it later.
I uploaded the correct startup. All issues should be fixed!
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Already played this once, I loved it. So I decided to replay it. Unfortunately there were a lot of errors, and I was unable to continue. So here are the screenshots
Hope I did that right lol
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Blast it all. I thought I updated that. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to update a single file on this game without wrecking everything else. 
Gimme a minute.
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I just did a playthrough of the game, and it’s certainly coming along nicely (and Adrian is still cute 
). I did spot a few issues, though, quite a few of them relating to having a crush on Adrian…
notes
You decide to avoid hugging her. It seems to make her uncomfortable. She smiles back at you.
This feels a little oddly-worded; it’s implying that not hugging Sabrina is making her uncomfortable, not that the MC thinks/knows that hugging will make her uncomfortable…
Plus, you might look like a hypocrite if you send Madison away after keeping Adrian here.
This appears even if you let Adrian decide for himself… 
“He’s flirty?” you ponder. “Well, he might be perfect for Adrian.”
Uh… Excuse me? I know for a fact that it’s my MC who’s perfect for Adrian. 
Jordan looks to Carlton. He gives a subtle nod. The former sighs and drops his head,
Presumably it’s Carlton who nods, but the current structure implies that it’s Jordan. Maybe it would work better as “Jordan looks to Carlton, who gives a subtle nod.” 
“Turning our casual hangout into a love festival is pretty awful.”
And completely different from my plans for the evening… 
I guess it does feel like this conversation has been written with the assumption that the MC’s not crushing on Adrian themselves…
Look, I’m not saying that you didn’t intend to be rude.
I think this shouldn’t be a double negative, because as it is, I am accusing Jordan of trying to be rude…
Well, it’s not really absurd to think that maybe you’re attracted to a few people in the group. Madison is definitely out - you can’t even imagine how messed up that would be. Olivia doesn’t really do romantic relationships because she’s aromantic. Jordan’s not really your type personality-wise. Sabrina is out because you don’t like girls.
That leaves… Carlton and Adrian. It would be pretty bold of you tell Carlton to his face that you’re interested in him, but it would probably go over well since he’s so flirty. Saying you’re into Adrian might disappoint him though. Also, Adrian might feel weird about knowing that since you’re his closest friend.
This entire section feels like it was written for if you don’t already have a (declared) crush on Adrian…
“Wait, didn’t you say that you weren’t interested in Adrian?” Jordan recalls. Oops, yeah, you did tell Carlton that.
I… don’t remember doing this? 
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Thanks for pointing those out! I wrote the first chapter entirely before Adrian was ever even an LI, so yes, all conversations were written under the assumption that the MC isn’t romancing Adrian… I’ll add in some more snippets of Adrian-flirting-specific dialogue and patch up those logic errors to make things make more sense.
As far as the Adrian crush goes, it’s not declared to anyone but (possibly) Sabrina, so (to me) it makes sense that you’d consider telling Carlton and Jordan at that point.
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Except it is declared to the narrative, and it’s the narrative which is treating it as undeclared. Unless you mean the bit where I apparently already said I wasn’t into him, which I didn’t.
Good luck with the rest of the game! 
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I’m not sure I understand. At least in the quote you provided of the “who do you like” section, the wording doesn’t say that you don’t have a crush on him. It just says that admitting to that crush to Carlton might upset him.
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Sorry if I didn’t explain it too well… It was less what was said, and more how it was said. It’s essentially going through the other characters ruling them out, and then reaching Adrian almost as an afterthought. 
Maybe if there was a line mentioning the crush just after “Well, it’s not really absurd to think that maybe you’re attracted to a few people in the group.”
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Gotcha! I can do that!
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Hello everybody! I just returned from my vacation, and I’ve got some really exciting news about the next chapter:
It’s almost finished!
I used my 8 plane rides (seriously, 8 plane rides) to crank out the last few scenes of the discussion section, which is now completely finished! I’m currently writing out the spin the bottle scenes, but hopefully I’ll have an update ready either this weekend or sometime next week. I’m so excited to show you all what I’ve been working on. It’s a doozy!
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Chapter 3 is out!
I am beyond excited to finally show y’all the third chapter of Voltaic! There’s a lot of good things in this one and there’s plenty of drama, romance, and everything in-between. Hope you’re ready!
Changelog:
- Chapter 3 added! Flirt with your favorite LI, resolve conflict or worsen it, and discover new things about the members of the group.
- Minor updates to Chapters 1 and 2. These are primarily additions to the Adrian route and also a bit of logic cleanup.
- Minor changes to character bios.
- Please note that previous saves of the game will not work with this update!
Feedback requests:
- LOGIC ERRORS! There’s an insane amount of variability in these scenes, so I have absolutely no doubt that there are logic errors. If someone says something did or didn’t happen and it didn’t/did, please let me know! Also, if someone says something that appears unintentionally hypocritical (like someone saying they won’t do something and then later saying they don’t mind doing that something), I need to know that.
- On that note, however, please make sure that what you’re reporting is an actual logic error and not your own misunderstanding. If something doesn’t make sense, reread it if you haven’t skipped it to make sure you understand it. Screenshots or copy/pastes are both helpful and necessary - I can’t find errors without them!
- I’m especially concerned about maintaining consistent yet changeable personalities. If a character behaves in a way that’s super out-of-character, let me know so I can fix it. Given the widely different reactions characters can have to your choices, it’s hard to make sure they don’t seem too out of place.
- If you made a decision that you thought someone would remember and you never see it brought up again, let me know! Although I tried to utilize all variables as much as possible, there are some that get used way more than others.
- TYPOS! I know they’re there, but I’ll never find them on my own. Screenshots and copy/pastes are incredibly useful here.
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Don’t know if I missed something but, where am I telling her to choose a side? If anything I’m telling to leave this between me and Madison. 1v1
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That might be an issue with how I split the text there. I’ll look at that and make the dialogue a bit more specific to your choice.
When we first meet Carlton, can we have an option to just give him a friendly handshake? I don’t want to rock the boat but I also don’t want a total stranger putting his mouth on my hand.
The part where Madison grabs you was really jarring to me. No one else cares that mc and Madison are on the verge of a physical altercation? And I didn’t like being so passive, either. I wouldn’t be looking to start a fistfight with someone being that aggressive but I wouldn’t just let them put their hands on me either, and I know people who would clock them for less.
Jordan is relatable to a bad past version of myself. I didn’t have any social skills and I got picked on so I was just a fucking dick to everyone. I want to help him but I won’t baby him. He needs to get his head out of his ass and stop being such a wiener.
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