Vizgoth The Wrath (19/02/2024)

[UndescribedNight]

“Competent people are fine, I can work with them… I can work around them… But fools?-” How money is might.

“I, for one, have missed everyone too,” When death has embraced you there are no lies.

"“What? Yall are attractive…” He shrugs. Evil is often hypocritical how much would you overlook?

“Speaking of things with a whiff of war…” The violence that protects you. Would you denounce.it?

"“Donnot seek compliance, don not seek submission, you seek complacence.” The good that is inconvenient. Are so callous as to end it? Twist it?

“My,my do you…think you’re winning?” Can you escape your actions? Do you deserve to?

“I want to study you…something watches you…even alters you to it’s whims. I’ll find out, what it is.” A bird seeks to fly outside it’s bounds, will you stop it? can you stop it?

Synopsis

Vizgoth…a bustling city you call home yes but also a city you called much more than ‘home’. It was a city that was yours. And it all slipped away, your clothes soaked through by the blood of your family all in one faithful night. You swore you would claw it all back. This is not that story.

years have passed a crime lord on the ascent now your through your well laid plans and the family that remained. You sit on the cusp of victory, and blissful revenge. How much are you willing to do in the home stretch? How much are you willing to condone?

Do you have what it takes to claim it all? Should you claim it all?

Demo

https://dashingdon.com/go/15700

Patreon

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Cast

Coming Soon.

[Lord_Hezam]

i like the vibe but i couldn’t understand half of the content

[kb12]

So just by reading a little bit and seeing the cover i recognized it and as the person said above its hard to follow. Its like it bounces around and with the incorrect grammar on top of that it makes it very very confusing.

[UndescribedNight]

Hello, thank you for reading and the critiques are appreciated (And needed tbh).

Yeah the opening sequence was very jarring. It will be reworked and come up in a future chapter. Otherwise here’s hoping the new update is much better. Please enjoy.

[UndescribedNight]

NEW UPDATE:

-Reworked prologue
-Extended prologue fight.
-Combat rework
-etc

There’ll be a more detailed weapon system in the next update when the weapons shop is introduced for use.

[UndescribedNight]

Yes, sorry about that I was experimenting with an opening that wasn’t working. The new update flows much better. That sequence as meant to be more of a flashback to briefly introduce your family. The content will return (in a reworked state much later on).

The new update should be better please feel free to comment or dm any criticism you might have on the newer version.

[Shadowpendragon]

It’s good, I like the story but there is a loop in the story( unless I missed something ) after you head into the city that takes you back to the spot after you chose your house.

Other than that I’ll be keeping my eye on the this book

[UndescribedNight]

Fixed!

[Queen_Zelda]

I really like it, it’s fun and fast I had a few good laughs and cringed about our ‘dear’ mother. (Thanks, I hate her so much ) our brother is such a sweetheart I’m looking forward to read more

the thing I had a bit of disliking is that the characters / ro’s got swapped from male (all of the gender- selectable characters of mine were male) to female, back to male and so on
Clarence should be a him, but in the code he is a female.
Then in the Hellground(?) (the facility with the lab) the character, who works there is a bit confusing. Is the character a he or a she? (Example: “Worried it is then” sighs dramatically.
Who sighs dramatically? Is it a she or a he?)
and when they are back at the Lucius skycraper Eva is back there, too.The female version but she wasn’t there before.

I found a few writing mistakes, need to find them again…

Beside that great premise!!

[UndescribedNight]

Hey…think meant to comment at SCA. But please if you could share any screenshots of these errors it’d be a big help. Otherwise I’ll look into those.

[Damien_Crunc]

I think the demo link is for the SCA

[UndescribedNight]

…Yeah, They’re gonna kill me, lol. Let me get on this.