@Palette_Jack – I converted your first post to a wiki, so you can edit it. @Aerin is correct- normally you need to achieve a higher user level to edit the first post once 24 hours pass.
Liked what I have seen so far. And I am a huge Farscape fan so I can’t wait to see what you are going to do
What exactly does “psionics” refer to? Also how did you decide on which races to let the reader play as?
About psionics: “Some individuals possess the peculiar ability to alter reality with their mind. This usually presents as telepathy, telekinesis, special sensitivities, or any combination of the three. However, powerful psions are rumored to be capable of teleportation, precognition, and the ability to change shape.”
It’s just space magic lol, like the Force in Star Wars or Biotics in Mass Effect.
And regarding playable species, the ones available are just the ones that made the most sense. Like a plant-person MC would have changed the story too much, since the Ydiv are much more plant than people lol.
And lastly, if Blue had to leave Azata, does that make them an Orajzh? Seeing the “royalty” vibe immediately made me think of what conflicts an Orajzh MC could have with an Azal Blue, but I realized that’s not as relevant if Blue is an Orajzh as well haha.
Blue is still technically with the Azal, actually Their exile is unofficial, as their family kicked them out to save face. They’re from a mid-ranking noble house, and if the government had issued the exile, it would have had repercussions for the whole extended family. An etherian MC will have extra dialogue with them about it.
And I’m still learning how to use everything, so thank you @Eiwynn
Really interesting so far! Looking forward to finding out more. I really like the writing and pacing so far.
Based on Farscape you say? Can I have my very own pk tech girl?
I loved farscape and Ben Browder was so good in that. A shame he never really got more roles afterwards that showcased his talent.
Listen. Listen.
I’m just going throught the demo. Enjoying a good read. The Mass Effect vibes the first couple of chapters are giving me.
And you give me this choice:
I’m now enamored. This wip has all my love.
Update: September 26, 2020
Added 10k words to chapter 3, and fixed a few things.
Please let me know if the new stuff flows okay. My coding is kind of precarious
I also have a tumblr now! But be patient, please, cause I don’t know what I’m doing lol.
(Also, how do I change the title to reflect the update?)
Hey! I liked the new bits of exploration so far. Everything I did seemed to match what I expected as far as choices and stuff. I still really like the *choices we’re getting, both practical and flavorful, and the game still really held my immersion and attention.
I don’t know if you can edit topic titles until you hit Member status? I could be wrong on that though. You might be able to ask a mod to do it for you as well.
thoughts and pictures
There was one bit where I got some weird Greek-like coding in brackets, but I assumed that was supposed to be there (like the ship speaking or something) so I didn’t get a picture of it.
One other thing I didn’t get a pic of was that where the original demo ended, the gray bar still says “Next Chapter” but isn’t actually going to a new chapter.
Did you happen to rework some of the intro stuff with Ace? It felt a little more natural to me as I played this time. I’m not certain I picked the same options as I did before, though. In any case, just wanted to mention I was happier with that section this go around.
This is from the part before new stuff, but I picked options in a different order and it looks like the part where the ship is observing me skipped the first thing I did, which I believe was breaking a noisy panel. “First, it After that, it tends to…”
This may or may not be an actual error, but I noticed the second and fourth highlighted paragraphs sound really similar and use the same “add your lunch to the pit” phrase, so I wanted to double check if this is supposed to be two different reactions. I believe I got this after choosing to drop a glowstick into the pit, and there may have been another choice after that?
I’ve been getting more of a Farscape vibe than anything. Could just be me being old though.
Hi! Thank you so much for your help.
I added a few bits, yes I’m glad it flows better now.
That one paragraph has been giving me so much trouble lol. Thank you, it should be fixed now.
And the repeated stuff over the bridge should be fixed as well. I just missed a few things lol. Same with misplaced “Next Chapter.” Thank you for pointing it out, I never would have noticed that.
Also! If that “Greek-like coding” you mentioned was this: <ʇolıԀ ʎW> then yes, that was supposed to be there
The Farscape vibe is intentional! Thank you for noticing. It’s one of my favorite shows, and also the inspiration for the game
I’m curious as to what Valhalla is thinking as they -assumedly- watch their ‘visitor’ explore what is, essentially, their body and internal organs, so to speak… or, at the very least, a ships equivalent of them.
If the MC thought to, would they be able to hear Valhalla’s thoughts?
If not, is it because of the fact they are shielding their thoughts from them or some other reason?
The new scenes with the drone are ADORABLE- but, of course I can’t let it be and have questions:
Besides simply being just a drone on the ‘ship’, and for lack of better phrasing on my part… is… is lil dronesie just an extension of Val? Our new ship friend just trying to find ways to interact with a potential new friend?
Heheh, I found a cuddlebug.
I’m not really a fan of sci-fi, but the story seem interesting, plus it started with some juicy gossip, I can appreciate that hehe. Also i’m adopting the little drone and you can’t do anything about it. It is hard to say much about the story itself, cause the Demo is a little short and not much happened yet, exept for the ship of course.
I really appreciate that we can be something else rather than a human, Etherian is probably that peaked my interest the most. I’m a little confused about Tomei, they are lion like people? Do they look more animalistic like Khajiit for example or have more human like faces?
Also possible spoilers for Warframe, so please don’t look if you care about that sort of thing. The living ship thing reminds me of warframe also, it also have living metal stuff and living AI.
This will come up later for psionic MCs They don’t know it’s alive yet. But I still need to go over the new stuff and add a few stat-based things, so thank you for reminding me.
About the drone
So nearly every ship out there has drones. The little ships, like fighters and skycars, just have little spiderbots to keep things clean. Big carrier ships will have a whole fleet of drones to perform janitorial duties and provide basic maintenance. They’re space roombas, basically. Even MC’s ship had a tiny drone to keep the plumbing in order.
Lil dronzie is a mechanical organism, same as Val, just significantly less advanced. Val’s drones have the added duty of keeping Val healthy, like white blood cells. The drones are their own thing, but Val can influence them- although not so much lately, due to the whole… situation. But Val did point it in your direction.
I plan for the drone to be a recurring minor character, unless you killed it lol. And people who went right instead of left will be able to encounter it later.
You will also have the option to name it, so if you guys have any requests, let me know
Tomei have a lot of variation between families, including facial structure and the shapes of their legs. Most tomei have more human-like faces (Raza specifically looks like a cross between She-Ra’s Catra and Thundercats’ Lion-o), but there are more cat-like families as well. They don’t have nearly the same level of variation as khajiit, though- there aren’t any that look like actual housecats lol. And thanks for bringing it up! I’ll add this to the codex I’m working on.
Hopefully any other little drones wandering about don’t mistake the MC for some kind of bacteria, then… Though that would be an potentially interesting scene to think about. Especially as a reason to having killed the first one that they came into contact with.
If the drone’s would be Val’s equivalent of white blood cells, I’m very curious as to what other parts of my new favorite ship (only ship, really- but don’t tell them that! ) would be considered… cough lantern scene cough
Also, in terms of weapons options- Maybe the remainder could be based on the MC’s species and/or how technologically advanced their species as a whole is? Culture and history, as well as belief systems could maybe also be taken into consideration for this… but I’m not sure if that would be too much, or how deep you plan on going for a ‘PLAYER, CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON!’ option.
Personally, though, I could imagine a Tomei using a Bo staff… speaking of the Tomei, since they have fur I hope Val doesn’t mind shedding XD
My little drone bot shall be called:
Pod Or Poddie McPodderson for the less intimate.
Even though, it is a bit short, I quite liked the tone that was set on the get go and the fact it has a established cast of characters, that know each other.
The MC feels very fleshed out and some of the choices like “If this kills me, I’m going to be so pissed” are little gems.
I’m hooked and I can’t wait for more!
Hello I have updated the game again. It’s not very big, only a few thousand words, but it gives you the option to use your psionics (if you have them) to scan the alien ship. To get to the new content, you need a Psionics Skill of 10 or higher, possible by either being an Etherian or picking the Psion background, and then picking one of the meditate choices after the part with the bridge/drone/kitchen.
I haven’t tested the new stuff as much as I would have liked, as I’ve been busy this month, so I would appreciate any extra feedback you guys have
And I’m also working on personalized weapons for the MC, so please let me know if you have any requests
Heh, I miss Farscape. I’m also getting an Andromeda vibe too? I like it so far. Good writing, the options give some clear character depth. I agree with the earlier comment that we really need more information before answering questions about Ace (that name forever make me think Red Dwarf).
Guess I found what to do tonight
Personalized weapons is an interesting thing indeed! The only thing that comes to mind rn tho would be something for psionics, perhaps like a container with a metal liquid thingy that you can control at will?