Managed to do a NO playthrough, it was interesting to see the similarities and the differences between the NO and Solidarity routes. Would have liked to see a starker difference between Riga and Wulf, at least at face value; Herta and Franz are noticeably different but not the leaders or the leadership, really.
Some typos and comments:
You stubbornly hold their glare. The next stop is your’s anyway
Then rapturous applause and the raising of glasses.
I think it should be “Then, rapturous…”
the Social Democrats’s defence force the Iron Guard,
defence force, the Iron Guard,
Also, I believe grammatically it should be the Social Democrats’ (?)
Talking to Riga as an Aristo and being assertive, there’s this line which just seems a bit clunky:
“I suppose being from the family you are you have a great sense of history?”
The castle is still closly guarded
Now we are caught between an incompetant elite
A nation in which all our united and committed to the struggle to build a better nation
Is it meant to be “…all are united and committed?”
You’ve brought along pistol
not disimilar to that worn by his great-grandfather in the painting.
Also, why is the Prince styled as a “Majesty” and not a “Royal Highness” or something like that? (also in a later scene he becomes “Your Highness”, so this appears to be an inconsistency?)
“No your highness, circumstances always seemed to conspire against such an occurance.”
c.f. Highness point above, also “occurrence”
Your aim steadys, you pull the trigger.
You pass a soden poster advertising the event you are about to attend
Leaving the house only to trapse the streets
“trapse” and “soden” appear a few times here
She looks up and realising it is you, throws down his clipboard and embraces you
You ask them what it is like being unemloyed
“He said he’d be reading a copy of the red’s party newspaper,”
inisists the informant
“It took months of joint committees and a secert deal with the police union, but all that hard work has come to fruition.”
There are now agreements in place with regards to territory and jurisdicition
“What were you dicussing in there with the finance minister?”
“She’s wants my MPs to do her dirty work!”
On the contrary, coalition governemnt
The opposition MPs look dispondent
An uninspiring but competant man
an old solider
We are in a coalition governemnt,
Also, should The Red Flag be italicised?
Herta howls a gutteral cry
The Guardsmen are not independant either. They lay in to
not independent; lay into; perhaps “not impartial” makes more sense here?
Moravians that this is the reality of socialism: show trails and false accusations
People are saying you made the decsive intervention.
“Reds” is inconsistently capitalised at times; sometimes it’s capitalised, sometimes not. Ditto for “Greyshirts”.
Instead of getting a cab, perhaps getting a chauffeur under Royal employ if the NO’s popularity is high enough (just as an indicator of NO’s popularity, and thus the Prince’s need to impress favourably). This, I think, would make some sense considering how it’s mentioned that he’s “rather tense about the outcome”; an NO which has more popularity places more pressure on him as a result. Also, these small tidbits would make a bit of a change from playthrough to playthrough.
FT-17s aren’t actually that bad considering France was still using them in 1940 (among other nations). Perhaps Falk’s point could be explained either by being unable to get more modern tanks off Skoda, Vickers or Landsverk. Don’t think that Moravia has the industry or R&D for an indigenous tank industry. This could also be an opportunity to illustrate the distrust of Germany by the Moravian military, or, their concern about the threat from the Reds if the MC has Falk’s approval, e.g. Falk could say that their kit pales in comparison to even the Reichswehr (concerns and foreshadowing of a German invasion), or dealing with a Red Uprising.
Also the text implies (when loading the Steyr M95) that on feeding the rifle the stripper clip is removed (it says "push the ammo in); the M95 was Mannlicher clip i.e. en bloc fed, not stripper clip fed, as far as I know. (edit: apparently there are stripper clip modifications of the M95 by the Yugoslavs along with a conversion to 7.92mm Mauser)
One thing I did notice was that Franz is a bit more present in the NO lines than Herta is in the Solidarity route, with his “fearsome reputation”. Would be nice if there was a hint of that in Solidarity’s route.