Yeah I had the whole thing of being broken up with when I came out as trans…it wasn’t a fun experience. A lot of drama happened and we weren’t compatible in the end. Maybe a idea for a way to address this in a IF route that gives the player more agency in the situation is for the RO to be a friend option that the MC could have a role in supporting them and when the RO is actually comfortable and comes out THEN the MC could have a option to evaluate their relationship and realise that they had a crush on them and pick the unknowingly pining option and the romance would play from there.
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Currently, I was thinking that you find out they are trans before any relationship is formed. It would just be flirting up until that point. So no breakup would have to occur. They may be disappointed that you no longer like them like that, but I think that they’d at least somewhat appreciate it if the reason you no longer like them is because you just aren’t attracted to their gender, since that would mean that you are correctly considering them the gender they identify as.
I’ll consider the possibility of them not flirting until after they transition, though, since some of you seem to think that it would be preferable. It wouldn’t be hard to explain why they never flirt until then—they could have just never felt comfortable enough with themself to flirt before.
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honestly I think that’s the best option the avoid frustration. IF that’s the goal. Because even tho I would probably would be disappointed if a “female” RO realises he is actually male, I strongly believe in the author writing the story for the sake of the story and not for the sake of the reader. Making compromises is important but in a book I think the author should only listen to themself
Personally I would like to flirt with them before they tell us (then again, bisexual here, so gender isn’t really that important to me to begin with). Also I seem to be in the 1% that prefers to actually be in a relationship with the RO before they come out 
so take that as you will. Anyway, I feel like trying to flirt a couple of times with a RO only for them to not seem into it would communicate that the RO isn’t into my MC for whatever reason and so I would move on.
Maybe make it so the player realizes the RO is interested (by flirting and stuff) but won’t get into a relationship until they come out? Just my two cents.
Also, happy to see more trans ROs 
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A single transgender RO makes a game niche? I’ve played countless COGs with nonbinary ROs, it seems like most these days have some nonbinary inclusion. Why would a trans RO be different?
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Jumping off of this, maybe options to flirt before the reveal but not lock off the romance until after? That way people can flirt before but if they don’t want to engage in that until the character’s gender identity matches their sexuality they’d still get an opportunity.
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I think that’s a wonderful idea and it’ll be so refreshing to see it in IF (a lot of the ROs I read in games cater to players to such a degree that they stop being unique or challenging in any meaningful way). I think you should go for it. But, as others have said, don’t lock players into or out of the romance prior to this reveal.
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It shouldn’t be any different for COG’s typical audience, but it would be unique because not many of the games have an explicitly trans man or trans woman as a love interest. There seems to be a tendency to think “Oh, I’ve got the resident tran taking care of, I added an NB person! Representation achieved!” and just leave it there.
OP, I agree that it would be better to have the RO come out as trans before pursuing a relationship. I don’t think a COG or Hosted game will be long enough to have a proper romantic development prior to transition, as well as a reaction to a character transitioning.
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this concept might work really well with a time jump of some sort. perhaps they’ve known each other for years but have been separated and the reunion includes some revelations. 
lots of different ways to go about it. lots of good meaty story potential. i’d certainly be interested in authors giving it a try
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I don’t have much to add that hasn’t already been mentioned, but I will say this: I appreciated what The Sea Eternal was going for, and I am never against more representation. The more the merrier. That aside, though I am bi, I lean more androsexual. It was fairly disappointing initially believing I had at least two male options, when really I had one alone. It felt a bit like a "gotcha” on the author’s part as the official number of ROs wasn’t in the description how they normally would be, and in IF which is heavily about player choice, feeling that way is not ideal. If you’re going to go for this kind of scenario, it would be my advice to make sure you provide more than one option for people who are only or mainly attracted to the gender that the trans RO realizes they are not. (I don’t remember if there was more than one female or non-binary option in TSE either, now that I think about it) It’s good advice to have some variety when there are ROs present anyhow, but it’s especially relevant when one of the ROs informs the player after they’ve already formed expectations that those expectations are false. Otherwise, a portion of your audience may wind up thinking “okay then; I guess I’m out of luck,” and I’m sure that’s not what you’re going for here. Absolutely nothing wrong with exploring something like an RO coming out as trans; I’d just suggest trying to avoid sacrificing alternative.
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I would personally HIGHLY prefer not to know until you get close and romantic with them.
Not a fan of ‘‘obviously a trans character RO’’ ones, so I most likely wouldn’t romance those ones personally at all, but that is a preference I guess.
(By that I am not including pre-stuff or non-passing ones, since that is different. Those ones could be good characters if correctly handled and not showed down your throat if that make sense. It would be cool to ‘‘misgender’’ a character as a first reflex, then learn (or be a dick and have the character react accordingly, for player freedom, even though that might be a controversial take…), since I’m a big fan of realistic scenarios.)
I prefer if they aren’t treated like ‘‘the trans RO one’’ but rather just ‘‘another guy/girl to romance’’.
Feel more genuine and less insulting too. We aren’t mythical creatures that are that much different than any other guy or girl so xd
Not fun to fill the trans quota either, I hate diversity for diversity’s sake, it has to work with the story and feel organic for sure.
That being said, there should still be an option for the MC to breakup, back off or loose interest in them, especially if there is implied/explicit sexual content, since genitals can be a preference and I completely agree with that part.
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me, writing a non-b RO and deuteragonist who doesn’t figure out their gender identity until the climax of the game:
some people inevitably will. the transphobic trope of trans women “tricking” someone into dating, falling in love with, or sleeping with them is alive and well. honestly, society seems to be doubling and tripling down on it since that disgusting trope started, even with the increased representation and tolerance. so this reaction just will exist, unfortunately; likely even from some queer people (and self-proclaimed allies/feminists).
but that being said, it sounds like your intent with the character and the way you want to write them has nuance and heart. so I’m way into it, I hope to romance her someday 
someone will always be disappointed by a cis character turning out to be trans, especially an RO, but I don’t think reader disappointment is a reason to scrap that aspect of her identity or change her storyline. I personally would love to meet an RO discovering their gender identity.
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Don’t worry, their identity doesn’t revolve around the fact that they are transgender. They are just a lovely character who happens to realise why they feel the way they do and develop into a happier character because of it.
And while I personally see no problem with diversity for diversity’s sake (people like to see themselves in characters, and diversity helps with that), that is not the reason this character is trans. When I make my character, I really try to get to know them and their motivations, and as I was creating the story I realised that the reason they responded the way that they do is because they are uncomfortable with who they are and that they’d be much happier living as the opposite gender.
I’m also involved in the queer community, so I know a lot of problems that trans people face, and I wanted to address some of them, like the little things people can do that might unknowingly make them uncomfortable, for example. And the little things that can make them happy 
But at the end of the day, they were still a character that I loved even before I realised they were trans, and I hope that others can feel the same way and not consider them being trans their defining trait.
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I don’t think there is necessarily a right or wrong answer to this question.
I think it’s fantastic and you should stick with your plan for them to be trans. (I am also bi/pan, so this doesn’t affect my outlook as a reader.)
That being said, I personally prefer character-driven writing, both in what I read and in what I write. I think it’s more important for the characters to have unique identities rather than identities that are tailored to the reader. But not all people feel that way, and I doubt there is a way to please everyone no matter what decision you make.
I have trans and nb characters in the story I am working on, and one of the things I decided early on, in order to avoid players feeling like they are locked out of romancing character based on gender, is that I would not have the player designate their sexual orientation. Rather they can choose to flirt or not flirt with the characters and thus not miss out on opportunities based on a choice they made early in the game. If you choose to keep this character trans, you might consider doing the same thing. Or, at the very least, don’t code the sexual orientation variable to lock players out of romance options later. (This could potentially give you more variables to work with for the player character, depending on how deep you wanted to take it, so that could be fun.)
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As a cis and hetero woman that plays most of her characters as cis hetero women, it would not really bother me, as long as it has a good character development and an ingame explanation to the reader. If the character is in a relationship with the MC (or flirting), it would just need an option to transform it to a friendship without shaming the reader. It would only make me want to replay with a different character:
Let’s say the character begins as a male RO and that my male-attracted MC flirted with him. After coming-out I would most certainly want to change it to a friendship but also replay it with a different character that is bi or female-attracted. If it is the opposite (coming out as a man) then I will continue the game as a friend to the character, but then replay it to flirt from the beginning. (But maybe it’s because I always want to read 100% of the games 
).
I think it is one of the main advantages of COG games, you don’t play then just once. The players may be surprised at their first play, but then will adapt.
If the character is well written and the transition explained during the story it should not be a problem to the vast majority.
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This is both interesting and tricky.
A lot of things have been said already, but if I was to add my grain of salt…
Well, I’ll begin with saying that being cis female (het) I’m only interested in male characters when playing something with a romantic plot, but at the same time, I don’t identify at all with my MCs and I feel more at ease if the MC is very different from me, which implies them being male. So, my MCs are ALWAYS gay men.
As strange as it may seem, my first suggestion would be writing the story in first person, from the MC’s perspective. Most CoG/HG games are written in second person (the “you” is a thing I’ll NEVER get totally used to, because of how I play), and while I do everything I can to distance myself from my MC, it still feels weird at times. Because of that, if said RO is actually female, I wouldn’t be able to continue on this route if they were my selected RO. If they were actually male, then after discovering that, IF I were to replay the game, I could try that romance. But in both cases, my MC would probably be friends with them, and very supportive, since I tend to play friendly and open-minded MCs.
But that also means I would abandon my playthrough if I had chosen that RO (again, in the scenario of them being actually female despite being presented as male). Not because I wouldn’t like them anymore as a character, but because I would feel extremely bad for breaking up, even in the gentlest way, but I would feel awkward to continue the romance. Or well, that would be the case if the story was written in second person. In first person writing, if written with care, then I’d continue. That’s just how big of a change it makes to me if a story is written in first person. The more the MC is “their own person”, the more I’d be okay with such a RO, basically
Sadly, I don’t think a lot of people share my opinion on that, so yeah…
That being said, I’d say go for it, BUT with some “safety nets”.
I would only put that character in a story that has a fair amount of choices as far as ROs go. Some games have few, and well, players always want choice. I think a lot of people who are interested in only one gender would feel frustrated at the game suddenly barring one of the options. The frustration with the game/author may impact the character themself in a negative way, too (as far as how people percieve them).
Also, I would put some hints about the character being trans. Nothing obvious eh! More like, them talking about feeling bad about some things and their body etc, IF the MC is close enough to them. It would be safe to assume players interested in them as a RO would get these scenes, and if they are attentive enough to the character, they’d start figuring it out before the character realizes, without the character becoming the “token-trans-character”.
Also, you said said character only realizes what they truly are after meeting other trans people. Does that mean they come from a place where trans people officially don’t exist? Does the MC come from that place too? Because if yes, that adds another layer of complications, but can make for interesting plot points too. The MC would be way more confused if they didn’t know trans people exist beforehand.
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This is interesting, the trans/enby ros ive seen tend to already be transitioned/known to be trans so this wpuld be interesting to see.
I’d say go for it but at least give the player the option to end the relationship on good terms you know?
I say go for, but don’t lock the reader out of other romances. Cause personally I am straight, so I wouldn’t stay with someone who transitions into a woman.
Trans people do officially exist in this world, and it isn’t like this character has never heard of the concept of being trans at all. They just never met any actual trans people, so what they knew was vague at best and not something that they understood. Like maybe they saw it being badly portrayed it in cartoons, but they never saw anything that explained what it actually meant to be trans.
Maybe when they were little the term was used against them in a negative way, so they thought, “I don’t know what that means, but it’s definitely not what I am!” and distanced themself from it. But I’m not sure if that should happen, because it’s kind of dark if they got bullied for that, and I don’t want trans people to be upset when reading it.
Interesting what you are saying about first person. I’ll keep it in mind.
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