I’d think the MC can not understand a language the player does, unless stated otherwise, anyway, and the “you” in the narration does refer to the MC, not the player.
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I have two things to say, a poll and advice.
Please pay attention to the time and date at the top of most pages, it helps with the flashback transistions.
Now which Irene route did you pick, if you are romancing her? I need a frame of reference.
- Dom Irene
- Sub Irene
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voters
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Sorry but I have to ask what sup and Dom mean in that contest is the Dom where she dominates the MC or the MC dominate her
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@Ronin_101 pretty simple is pretty common in sm and bdsm , Dom is your master leader whatever you want call it you have to obey her, sub is she has to obey you , you are than her master etc… you get what i mean i think so yeah you where pretty on it already
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i would sub her brats needs to learn where there place is^^
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Will there be a main male love interest or two for gay mc’s too?
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Both of the main male love interests are open to gay romance, Ashford however is only for female mcs.
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Sorry to be a bother, but are they any female players that are willing to beta test for FA. This is most going to be helping me gauge the Femmc content and give suggestions on it.
This is exactly what it feels like. Probably the closest we’ll ever get to a anime style harem choice game.
Very, very interesting start! I’m happy that you can play as a girl in this one even though the whole premise is obviously tailor-made for male MCs. I like the acknowledgement the narrative gives for female MCs like when you’re hanging out with the bros at the start, it makes the whole thing feel more real and grounded to me. I know there’s probably an argument to be made about not mentioning gender at all in IFs, but I think with a premise as steeped in male stereotypes as this (this being a high school quarterback), it works well.
The pacing can do with a bit more work, I honestly didn’t notice that we went back years in the past at first lol. That’s my bad, but maybe you can put a “4 years ago…” or something like that? Just to make it clear for the readers. I also noticed the characters don’t really emote, like they’ll say something, but the narrative just chugs along with very little dialogue tags or actions beats following their dialogue.
For example, when Irene talks to you, Samantha immediately jumps the gun and started being aggressive… in dialogue, but we don’t see how she says it or what her overall body language was like. It’s a lot of telling, but barely any showing. And sure, you don’t necessarily need a lot of dialogue tags or action beats to convey a story, but I would’ve assumed if a character was angry or showing extreme emotions that the narrative would show us since sometimes, how a character says something matters more than what they say. But, it’s still the prologue, so I don’t mind it too much.
Moving on to more fun stuff, all the ROs introduced are already up my alley, but I freaking love Irene lololol. I love me an unhinged girlie! During her scene where she talked with us alone, I was just like “what the hell is happening??” but like, in a good way. That scene was so damn funny, it was jarring and completely off-putting… but it made sense! Like of course, she’ll act that way to a total stranger, why wouldn’t she? She’s Irene freaking North! Entitled divas are so fun in fictionland, I swear.
Yep, agree! Especially, during the scene where Samantha and Rachael first met and you pick the “I choose both” option and the MC attempts to be a peacemaker. Gave me serious dense harem protag vibes! Love it though.
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The pacing can do with a bit more work, I honestly didn’t notice that we went back years in the past at first lol. That’s my bad, but maybe you can put a “4 years ago…” or something like that? Just to make it clear for the readers. I also noticed the characters don’t really emote, like they’ll say something, but the narrative just chugs along with very little dialogue tags or actions beats following their dialogue.
Pacing is something is something that I am actively working on improving, so it will get better with time as I get more comfortable writing. for the time skips, there is time keeping at the top of some pages that show the current time and date when it changes.
The pacing can do with a bit more work, I honestly didn’t notice that we went back years in the past at first lol. That’s my bad, but maybe you can put a “4 years ago…” or something like that? Just to make it clear for the readers. I also noticed the characters don’t really emote, like they’ll say something, but the narrative just chugs along with very little dialogue tags or actions beats following their dialogue.
This, I will try to improve as I didn’t realize that I wasn’t being as descriptive as possible.
Yep, agree! Especially, during the scene where Samantha and Rachael first met and you pick the “I choose both” option and the MC attempts to be a peacemaker. Gave me serious dense harem protag vibes! Love it though.
never beating the allegations.
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That’s great! But no pressure though, I mean we are still in the prologue, plenty of time for you to get your groove on!
Honestly, very easy to fix with a few additional sentences here and there. No need to go crazy with it, just be a bit more descriptive. However, I don’t really mind if the first few updates don’t have much tags or action beats and focus more on the actual dialogue, since I do this in my own writing as well to get the plot going first lol. Just do whatever personally works for you!
Embrace the allegations!! 
So it’s not just me I thought I was the only one that miss the back in the past thing for a long while, I thought I was just in a very powerful illusion
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What do you feel would make it more obvious? not being sarcastic or anything. Because well, I thought it was fairly obvious but I got writer’s bias here.
In an attempt to fix the gender ratio with the ROs, Samantha will have their gender change to be a guy. This won’t negatively affect their story but it will be taking in a different direction than planned.
If you have an issue with this then please make yourself heard with a reply or vote against it.
- I prefer Samantha as a female.
- Samuel is fine with me.
- It doesn’t matter to me.
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voters
Would you be open to making Sam gender selectable to allow for some agency while also addressing the ratio?
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I personally don’t think the ROs’s gender should be decided based on arbitrary stuff like ‘gender ratio’. They should be written with the gender that works the best and make the most sense for them and the setting.
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Yo there is a bug where How about you become mine instead is grayed out
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That isn’t a bug, you are required to have the right stat spread to pick that option.
None of the Ros will be gender selectable, I much rather write them with a specific gender in mind and see how it plays out.