Um. Well. Shit. That’s awkward.
long answers
What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?
Like… completely still? No fidgeting or nothing? That amount of time is in the negatives. He was set up to lose before he even started playing this game. That’s hardly fair. Even if fidgeting were allowed, he’d be right up and looking for something to do within seconds.
Well… one exception – if he were in character and he had to sit still, he could manage for as long as needed. Then he’d have to be extra fidgety later to make up the difference.
How easy is it for your character to laugh?
Ehm… he’s got pretty good control of himself on this front. He’s willing to laugh openly, does so frequently – he’s not afraid of expressing himself. He tries to act like he is (well, it’s closer to him being all “I have nothing to express but blandness because I am boring” and also being so wrong about it), but he’s really not. But if he’s trying to make a point that involves srs bzns and someone does/says something he’d normally find uproariously funny (and then would generally react as expected), he can stone-face like a motherfucker. Because acting.
How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)
Staying up until he can’t think properly and then just crashing. This can take a couple days, sometimes. Maybe more.
How easy is it to earn their trust?
Hmm. I feel like… baseline, he kind of trusts everyone from the get go? Like… you’d have to actively be a ginormous dick in order to lose his trust. And I’m probably mischaracterizing that a bit, but it’ll be elaborated on/properly explained in the next bit. So…
I feel it might seem like he’s distrustful because he squishes himself deep deep down and attempts to present his “boring” front/isn’t keen on sharing himself, but that’s less “I dun trust you” and more “I trust that you’d come to the conclusion that you didn’t want to be around/acquainted with me anyway, so I’m saving you time and effort and am going to act as boring/unassuming as is humanly possible to dissuade any possible interest in me.” Which might amount to the same thing, idk, but I feel like the distinction is important.
How easy is it to earn their mistrust?
You have to actively be a dick. A HUGE dick. More than a dick, actually, but that’d be the word he uses. Bobby’s a dick in his estimation because he used Oliver for his own gain, and so while he might have internalized all that with a heaping side helping of “welp, I got what I deserved,” he also no longer trusts Bobby.
But. Right off the bat. If you’re going out of your way to actually harm someone, that’s a droppage of trust. That makes you a dick.
Lying about something big… usually a dick move, but if you have an incredibly good reason for doing so… (saving your own life? “Dude, I’m not worth your life. Shit. We’re good.” But saving his life? “I am NOT worth that. Jesus. The fuck is wrong with you?!”)
Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?
Laws are, y’know, open to interpretation. Some laws are downright deplorable and deserve to be broken. And if somebody’s life is in danger, the law gets a swift kick to the nards.
What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?
Sometimes, when he’s got Pandora set to his Billie Holiday station, “I’ll Be Seeing You” will come on and he’ll have to stop and listen. Then come fuzzy images of him as a young child, nestled against his mother in bed or on the couch -then as a slightly older child, bedridden with fever, his mother sitting on his bed - a gentle hand combing through his hair, her voice soft and fond (and tinged with worry) as she gently sings him to sleep.
And then he’s torn because it really is a lovely memory (if…if it actually happened. If he didn’t imagine it) , but what if he’s been wrong about Rebecca this whole time? What if–?
And then he’ll wave the feeling away, switch the station to classic rock, and resist the urge (and ultimately fail to resist, if alone) to belt the chorus of “Africa.”
What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?
Swearing. Followed closely by moping. (“I’m not moping, this is just my face. Moping’s a stupid fucking word, anyway.” GROUNDED)
Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?
“Wot?! Me? Swear?! Why, I never…!” -dramatic harrumph, hand to chest- “The fucking nerve of some people–”
First swear… mmm… “penis”. Not a swear? It is when you’re like 3 years old and you use it to insult everyone and everything. glances around “You’re a penis!” childish giggles First legit swear was ass because “it’s in the Bible, so I can’t get in trouble. You ass.”
What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?
“S’all good.”
He still tells it to this day. It does not haunt him because he half believes himself whenever he says it.
How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?
It depends on the nature of the thing causing the confusion. Generally, though, he’ll seek clarification.
How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?
There isn’t a spot on his body that he can’t reach, so…
Srsly. Dude is flexible. He gets weirded out anytime someone asks him to scratch their back because “how in the ever living hell can you not reach that?! -scratches all of own back- it’s fucking easy.” But he’ll still do it. Obvious exception to this is someone he knows has some sort of handicap/injury – he’ll just do the thing.
What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?
helpless shrug He doesn’t think like that about clothes? Clothes aren’t really worn for the aesthetic. I mean, he tries for “professional” at work, goes with black blazer/pants and a white shirt because that’s basic, but he doesn’t necessarily think he looks good in it?
Aaaand, honestly, idk what he might actually look good in because I don’t know color and fashion and how things might complement like… skintones and all that stuff.
What animal do they fear most?
Man. " 'tis the most dangerous game, after all!"
Honestly, though, probably the brown recluse spider. Or that fucking blue-ringed octopus. (I just saw. A picture. Of some dumb motherfucker handling one. Why?!) No. It’s definitely the octopus.
How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?
He’s much better off speaking off the cuff. Rehearsal leads to things not being said or just being turned into awkwardness.
What makes their stomach turn?
Irl gore. Acts of cruelty, mindless and otherwise.
Are they easily embarrassed?
Not really. He’ll say shit like “ha ha, that was embarrassing,” but he won’t actually mean that.
What embarrasses them?
People discovering shit about him. Like, the actual him. Not… the him he wants others to think is him.
What is their favorite number?
69, dudes!
Ha ha. Nah. 10. 81. Because of Sharp and Hossa, respectively.
If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?
Initially, big ol shrug. Since he doesn’t really have any experience with the former.
Eventually, I think he’d be a bit corny and describe the former as “giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting that they won’t” while also feeling like the worn, warm blanket that the latter feels like.
Why do they get up in the morning?
…because he has a job to do?
How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?
Panic. Overthinking. Resignation. A blanket of anxiety.
How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?
“…it’s not like I can have it anyway. Or really deserve it.” -shrug- -tries not to think about it-
Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?
Sex jokes are kinda a staple for him (“because sex jokes are easy… like your mother. Also, something about squeezing low hanging fruit.”) And if he’s been around you enough so that his personality might begin to bleed through… yeah. He’s fairly comfortable about that. He can also talk about the general mechanics and the bits and all that stuff. (“It’s all just functions of biology and shit. Uh, right? Or something? I’m not a scientist, fuck. But society has a skewed view on sex, and, frankly-”)
The actual deets of his sex life when he starts doin’ the do? T’a’int nobody’s business but his own.
What are their thoughts on marriage?
Is aight.
He doesn’t get why people get so swept up in the big celebrity weddings. (“don’t they usually end up in big celebrity divorces? Do you people like watching them climb up, all fancily dressed, onto the pedestals y’all have built for them, only to salivate and watch gleefully as they tumble down and apart? Fucking shameful. Also, that dress is… god, I am not a fan. -sigh- but it’s not my day, not my dress, so who gives a shit?”)
But he can see the appeal of marriage in general. He just doesn’t even consider it a thing for him. And really won’t until asked.
What is their preferred mode of transportation?
Walking, so that he can play Pokémon Go.
Honestly, though, he thoroughly enjoys the act of traveling, if not necessarily all the details surrounding it. So long as he can watch the world go by, get hypnotized by the environment as it passes, can feel the motions? A+, that’s some good shit. The mode doesn’t really matter.
What causes them to feel dread?
Being the center of attention, outside of a role he might be playing, regardless of the size of the audience. (People actually seeing Oliver -beyond the boring- and not, like, Detective Westwood [bc there’s a distinction in his eyes] or some character he’s playing.)
Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?
Always the truth. Always.
Of course. When faced with the actual, real truth about himself (in that he actually doesn’t suck half as much as he thinks he does)… well, he’s convinced himself of his own truth, and he’s stuck deep, deep in that bog.
Do they usually live up to their own ideals?
Ha ha, he can never live up to anything except being a constant disappointment to himself. His bar is always going to be just above however high he can manage to jump. Not that he actually expects much from himself, it’s just. Y’know. The whole constant disappointment thing.
Who do they most regret meeting?
If you were to ask him… “Everyone. I shouldn’t have met anyone and I regret every second of it. I’m supposed to be a nameless, faceless background character, god damn it.” -eyeroll- Whatever you say, sweetie.
Who are they the most glad to have met?
At the moment? I don’t know. I mean. I have an idea who he’d answer with in the future, but there are six books yet to be released. A lot of time for character development and whatnot.
sigh is prolly gon be Adam
Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?
If somebody insists on trying to involve him in the conversation, and his attempts at boring the shit out of people or trying to deflect or get someone else talking don’t quite work, he’ll bust out “The Aristocrats.” And he will get as fucking nasty as he can muster – which is probably incredibly nasty because he has a stupidly overactive imagination. And then, hopefully, people will think twice about trying to get him to talk. There’s a good chance that could backfire, though. I don’t think he’s thought of that.
Could they be considered lazy?
In terms of life goals/ambition, yeah. Probably. Definitely. He’s bad at that. Initially, he didn’t plan anything for his life because he was so sure he was going to just sort of fade from existence by the time he hit 20, so… no point. And then he didn’t - whoops - but the habit had already been established. Idk, he just kind of floats on this front.
Work ethic/getting shit did short term? Hell to the nah.
How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?
I feel like all guilt he ever has sort of gets amoeba’d up by the overall sense of self-loathing he feels constantly, so… probably impossible. Ha ha.
How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?
He’ll probably be just as excited as they are about things, even if he doesn’t quite get it. And of course he’d be supportive. Depending on the thing, and if there’s an invite, he might even get involved.
Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?
Neither? Neither really fits, because the second still kind of implies that someone is keeping half an eye out for romance, and he’s not doing even that.
Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?
No system, really. He just kind of tries to beat the thing into his head until he remembers it, which generally works. He’ll remember the thing if it’s important enough. Or… hmm. He’d probably make a rhyme of the thing if it were complex. A mini rap of sorts. One that contains all sorts of mnemonic devices.
What memory do they revisit the most often?
No specific memory. He doesn’t purposely dwell on the past like that. He dwells more on what the sum of a bunch of memories says about him. If that makes sense? Or he’ll fixate on something he considers a flaw and then flip through his memory rolodex in order to find evidence supporting his declaration of that thing a flaw.
How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?
He’ll notice them. He’ll call them out if they’re legit harmful. He’ll console and encourage if the person is overblowing something minor/definitely not actually a flaw. But, generally, he’ll give the person the benefit of the doubt – “they must be that way for a reason, so consider judgement reserved” – or he’ll perform a feat of incredible mental gymnastics and find some way that he’s responsible for the flaw.
How sensitive are they to their own flaws?
I want to say overly sensitive, but it’d probably be more accurate to say that he’s incredibly numb to them – so much so that everything about himself is declared a flaw by default. And then that designation is fiercely defended.
How do they feel about children?
Oh, MAN, he fuckin LOVES kids. And not even in the jokey cannibal way. Like. They are TINY PEOPLE. With TINY MINDS just waiting to be shaped. And ENDLESS CURIOSITY. And a general trust of the world. And novel ass ways of looking at things. And… they’re just AMAZING in his eyes.
And he’d be a fantastic parent, especially when he becomes properly self-aware and begins to try to mitigate his own self-destructive/self-hating tendencies. He wouldn’t want that shit to bleed over to his kid. That would probably be what he’d consider his ultimate failure, if his kid came out with even an ounce of self-hatred. But the likelihood of him actually having a kid is pretty much zilch.
How badly do they want to reach their end goal?
He doesn’t really have an end goal? That would involve making life plans and… -audience laughter-
If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?
By saying “I like dudes, I guess.”
or, if deep enough into the relationship, he’d just point at Adam and say “him.”
